I’m Crying. I’m So Stressed About My New Cat. I Think I’m Failing At Adopting.

[RenM]

I adopted a blind, FIV positive cat on Monday. Long-story short. He was hanging around my neighbors yard all summer, but it was clear he had a vision issue. They left food out for him so he'd keep coming around and eventually caught him and brought him to the humane society. After the stray hold, I adopted him. He was neutered on Monday and I brought him home. Since he is blind, I've kept him confined to the safest three rooms in the house. It is about 500 square feet, but there is almost zero chance of him getting hurt in these rooms since I live in a townhouse with bannisters.


The first two days, when I was home he was so loving. He wanted constant pets and just kneaded me or the air while purring constantly. He wouldn't play with me, but he'd at least seek attention. But when I left him, I think he barely moved. Today he has wanted nothing and I mean nothing to do with me. He hissed at me. He figured out how to get in the bathtub and is hiding in there.


I'm just so worried this cat is unhappy being brought inside to a small space. I'm worried he won't get enough stimulation because he is blind and not interested in any of the toys or scratching posts I got. He doesn't like the cat bed and prefers the hardwood. He scarfs down food when I give it to him, so I can't leave him overnight without him eating a days worth of food in one go which I know is bad for their tiny stomaches.


The good news is he is using his litterbox and as of yet he hasn't scratched my stuff. But I don't think he is scratching his scratching post either. I'll need to eventually cut his nails and he'll hate me even more. I just. I don't know. I've always been an animal person. I pet sat growing up. If I was asked to stop by 3 times a day, I'd stop by 5 times. If someone asked me to let their dog out, I'd walk it instead and then cuddle it. I'm crying because I'm afraid this was a mistake, but I've always been the "pets are family, how can you get rid of them" person. But i'm just so scared he hates it here.


Does it get better, or should I really consider taking him back to where he was at least comfortable? They all talked about how loving he was and curious. And he just is so standoffish here.

 

[Kieka]

If he's blind or sight impaired, I wonder if he is having trouble recognizing you. If you've used new bath products, scents or other items it could be as simple as he doesn't realize you are the same person. I know I am allergic to artificial scents so I have to use unscented products. It really is amazing how many products have scents added and it could be something you don't even realize like a different fabric softener.

 

[catapault]

RenM , I can see from your words how upset and frustrated you are feeling, how you are second guessing yourself. But really, it has only been Three Days! He's blind, he's just been neutered, his world has been shattered and remade. He's not standoffish, he's probably just as upset as are you. It is way too soon to call it quits on this poor cat that cannot survive without an indoor life.

Take a deep breath. Take another one. Perhaps a third deep breath. Then recognize that you and this cat are on the very first steps of your life together.

Sit in his room and talk to him. When you are not in the room leave a radio on, or play music for him. Some members recommend harp music for cats.

As far as feeding - there are timed feeders. Dry food is easier but there are units for wet food where you place ice in a compartment to keep the food cool. Does he drink water? Maybe a fountain with the sound of water would work well for him.

Him. Sounds so nebulous - what's his name? What color is he? Do you have pictures? Pictures always welcome here. Any idea how old he is?

Again, let me reassure you that this situation is early days. Give it time. And let me also say you are doing a wonderful thing in giving this poor cat a loving home.

 

[RenM]

Kieka- Lol. I though of this, but I wear the same oil everyday. To the point friends tell me they know when I’m close because of the oil.

Catapult- He won’t drink from the fountain. I had to put out a water bowl, which he does drink from. I’ve left the fountain for noise reasons so he can orient himself.

I feel bad b/c if he does want attention, he can't come find me because I've blocked the stairs to keep him on the safe floor and I don't think he can meow to get my attention. He just makes squeaking noises.

I'll just go check on him regularly and talk to him and see if he wants pets, but otherwise I'll let him be. I want him to be happy. He's very clearly had a rough life. He is missing an eye, the other is clouded over, he's got cuts all over his body. Then I think about having to board him when I go on trips, and I worry that will stress him out and make him hate me.


Anyways, thank you both for listening to my rambling mess of thoughts. <3

 

[RenM]

C catapault Oh, and his name is Sparrow!

 

[Lari]

Awww, Sparrow. I see he has a banana.

I'm in the 'give it more time' camp. I know my girl was unhappy when I brought her home and confined her to a room (and she was not blind - just a skittish kitten), but she just had to get used to things and used to me and now she's perfectly happy. I'd let him come to you and just talk to him softly and gently so he gets used to your voice.

 

[catapault]

What a handsome boy Sparrow is! I love black cats. We have one right now, and have had them previously. My Mr Poe sends greetings to Sparrow.

Don't anticipate problems you might have at some point in the future when you travel. I do think because he is blind it would be easier for him if a friend, a family member, or a cat sitter comes to care for him. Then he won't have to reorient himself to a strange place he cannot see only to come home again.

Just a thought - have you considered putting a trail cam in his room so you can see what he does when you are not there with him?

Our two cats enjoy sleeping with us at night. They also like sitting on us when we're reading a book or (me) when I'm at the computer. But not all the time. I think your regular visits to Sparrow are a very good beginning. As he settles down and settles in you'll get a better feel for what makes him happy. And that will make you happy too.

Sweet dreams to both of you tonight.

 

[IronHippo]

Sparrow is a very handsome boy!

Do you have a worn shirt you could leave in his room so that he can learn what you smell like? Also, I think just sitting nearby and reading something out loud would help him get used to the sound of your voice. Don't reach for him without letting him smell your hand first, and if he indicates that he doesn't want pets after smelling your hand then just leave it be until the next try.

Like others, I also think time and patience is key here, too. All three of our cats went through a marked adjustment period. ʻUlu, the most recent addition, disappeared into a cardboard box for nearly a week after we brought him home. He is OK with lounging out in the open now behind the closed door, but does get nervous if we leave his bedroom door open--and it's been two weeks since we brought him home. And that's with a cat who isn't blind! I think Sparrow just needs some time reorienting himself and learning about his new home. Three days is not a lot of time in cat time! Be patient and gentle and let him come to you!

 

[jen]

Besides giving him time to learn and adjust, also think that his pain meds probably wore off by now from the neuter so he may be feeling a little blah too.

 

[DreamerRose]

He's a beautiful boy! I agree with everyone who has suggested giving him more time. You're doing a wonderful thing taking in a disabled cat, so don't be so hard on yourself. You are on the right road now; it just may take a little bit longer because he can't see. The idea about leaving him with a worn shirt and reading to him are great. He will learn you aren't going to abandon him and will let him adjust to his new home.

 

[ArchyCat]

I personally, have no experience with blind cats. But one of the recurring comments on TCS threads about blind cayts, is that you should always try to make some noise when you enter their room, so that they know you are there.

It probably would be best to make the same noise, every time if you can, so the cat will associate the noise with you specifically. Maybe just say his name, or a soft whistle.

But as other people have said, it is very early days yet. Soon, Sparrow will realize he is in a good approximation of a feline paradise! Regular food, a comfortable environment out of the weather. And even the occasional pets! Be patient. You are doing a good thing.

And maybe TCS members with experience with blind cats might add their own observations?

And keep us updated!

 

[Maria Bayote]

C catapault Oh, and his name is Sparrow!

Beautiful boy!

You are not failing! Give it time. You have got very good advices above. I second the idea of leaving your worn clothes, and keep it close to him whenever you step out of the house. And when you come back, speak in low voice and try not to make loud noises abruptly to not startle him.

He is just probably afraid. These are all new to him. But it WILL get better.

Thank you for bringing in this fella. You are his hero.

 

[Meowmee]

If Sparrow is not being aggressive I would keep him in your room and hang out more with him. Maybe get him a cat companion? He may feel more comfy with another cat who can help him navigate things.

 

[di and bob]

Cats absolutely HATE change, and your poor little one has been through a lot. You have only had him a few days. He AND you are going through so many changes and stresses it is perfectly normal to experience all your feelings. It WILL get better!
He is scarfing food because he is used to having food being scarce. This will ease up with time. Leave him some hard food out at night. He is in a new world and is blind, stressful for any cat much less one with his afflictions. You are doing everything right. Now just try to relax and enjoy him. He will worm his way into your heart sooner then you think. He is going through so much right now it will take several months before he truly shows how he feels about you and becomes friendlier. I am very experienced with cats, and still get sick to my stomach everytime I have a feral/stray neutered, or something goes wrong. We will walk you through anything you need, don't be afraid at all to come here if you need advise or need to unload. You are not alone!
For now just keep doing what you are doing, spend as much time with him as you can for now, using your voice to orient him and soothe him. Give him treats, and let him explore and get used to a new life, all good things come in time. Bless you for giving him a chance at a home and love, he is SO lucky to have you, and in time he will return your love. You EARN a cat's love, and it is one of life's greatest treasures.......

 

[RenM]

Thank you all for the support and advice. I won’t give up on him. I’m just so used to my friends cats and dogs that always run to me. I put a worn shirt in with him this morning.

He was no longer in the tub and had found the treats I laid around for him to “hunt” during the night. He also made it up onto a chair. I’m happy he is finding comfortable spots to sleep at least.

I do think part of this is the pain shot from his neuter wore off so he’s probably in some pain and in a new place. He didn’t come to me this morning, but I sat and talked to him. Then I read him a Reddit post because I ran out of things to say lol. He paid attention to my voice but did not leave the chair. I brought him a treat which he rejected, but he leaned in a little so I scratched behind his ear, put out his food, and left for work. I’ll keep taking it slow and just hang out around him at night for a couple hours so he gets used to me being around him.

Thanks again for talking me through my breakdown!

 

[vince]

Since he's so interested in his food, you might be able to pet him while he's so distracted with eating; he won't be as likely to exhibit the antisocial behavior you have been experiencing. He'll begin to associate petting as something good.

This worked well with the feisty little abandoned kitty I found under my car. She's pretty good with handling now at about one year old.

 

[Willowy]

Did the vet say if he's totally blind? I have one with eyes like that (due to an untreated URI when he was a baby; he's missing one eye entirely and the other is cloudy), and he can see well enough to get around, jump up on the counters, and play with fishing pole toys. Actually, I can't tell he has any sight impediment at all, but with his eye so cloudy I'm sure he can't see clearly. You wouldn't know it my his behavior though. So if Sparrow can see even a little bit, he should eventually be able to have free rein of the entire home, you won't have to keep him in the safer area.

Anyway, yes, it takes time! Sometimes a long time, sometimes not so long. It sounds like he's settling in already. Just relax and let him do his cat thing. He's so much better off in a home, even if he doesn't believe that yet .

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS.

Thank you for taking on the challenge of a blind cat. He's a beauty, and it breaks my heart to imagine what his life was like before your neighbours were able to trap him and get him to be shelter to be neutered, and eventually adopted by you.

Do you know his approximate age? And, as W Willowy asked, do you know if he's totally blind? If so, it's a miracle that he survived at all living outside on his own.

But now, even though he doesn't know it yet, he's safe and sound, and loved.

The eating all his food at once is totally normal for former strays. My Ruby girl used to eat every speck of food in her dish at once when I first adopted her. Ater about 6 months, she finally learned she'd never be hungry again, and started leaving food for later.

Have you heard of Homer, the blind cat? His owner wrote a book about him. He's since passed away, but lived a long life, and did not let his blindness slow him down at all. Coincidentally, he was black, like Sparrow.


Homer's Odyssey by Gwen Cooper

There's a Facebook page too: Homer Blind WonderCat

TCS also has a member @stephenq who has a blind cat, Jenny. Here's the link to a page about her: Our blind from birth cat Jenny, and Simon & Felix

She also has her own Facebook page: Jenny the Blind Cat

Good luck with Sparrow. Keep us posted on his progress.

 

[RenM]

W Willowy rubysmama

The Humane Society actually had an ophthalmologist come examine him. She is pretty confident he is 100% blind, but she believes it was due to a herpes flareup from the FIV. The vet that did the neuter and the regular vet at the HS both agreed with the ophthalmologist. It is likely he was not always blind, so he knew the area and had been better at hiding from everyone when he could see us. There was plenty of flowing water near the property and they left out cat food, but we have no idea how he survived all the foxes and coyotes. He certainly looks like he has been in a few fights though.

I will look into those books/links! Thanks

 

[rubysmama]

Poor little guy. I'm so glad he's safe with you now. Is he feral? Or a stray that was possibly dumped?