There are days I want to take my car and run it through a barrier. Sometimes, when I go home from work, I just cry. I cry because my mom is gone and because I hate the hospital I work at and I'm beginning to despise the people I work with. They treat me like crap a lot of the time and easily forget that time does not erase all. They will never be like family and in the end, I will be the only one left in our family. There are very few people in this world who experience complete and total lonliness.
I get depressed fairly often. I have lost interest in a lot of things I used to do - one big reason - I'm tired all the time. I have all her responsibilities along with mine so by the time I get to what needs to be done outside, I'm too tired. Moreso than ever before.
Everywhere I go, it is just a constant reminder of her. The doctor who cared for her has unexpectantly died - it was a shock to us all in the lab. I am not so cold-hearted that I would wish this for anyone, but - I do not feel anything at all.
This year is just going from bad to worse. If something happens to my dad this year, I will have to choose between seeing him in the hospital and keeping my own healthcare.
My mother suffered horribly for a long time - knowing that will bother me for the rest of my life.
I can let go with a few wonderful friends I have made on TCS, but I can't even let go with my best friend. My mind will not allow me to crumble around others.
There are days where nothing seems to matter. The petty things my co-workers talk about really irritates me to the point I feel like slapping them. There is always one who talks about having a black cloud. It is nothing compared to what my parents suffered and will suffer in the future.
I do not know how much longer I will be able to hold out at work. I am only staying because my dad goes there for treatment and I can easily get his appointments changed/ and all meds.
I have gone through what most people experience in a lifetime. I don't know what to do anymore.
I get depressed fairly often. I have lost interest in a lot of things I used to do - one big reason - I'm tired all the time. I have all her responsibilities along with mine so by the time I get to what needs to be done outside, I'm too tired. Moreso than ever before.
Everywhere I go, it is just a constant reminder of her. The doctor who cared for her has unexpectantly died - it was a shock to us all in the lab. I am not so cold-hearted that I would wish this for anyone, but - I do not feel anything at all.
This year is just going from bad to worse. If something happens to my dad this year, I will have to choose between seeing him in the hospital and keeping my own healthcare.
My mother suffered horribly for a long time - knowing that will bother me for the rest of my life.
I can let go with a few wonderful friends I have made on TCS, but I can't even let go with my best friend. My mind will not allow me to crumble around others.
There are days where nothing seems to matter. The petty things my co-workers talk about really irritates me to the point I feel like slapping them. There is always one who talks about having a black cloud. It is nothing compared to what my parents suffered and will suffer in the future.
I do not know how much longer I will be able to hold out at work. I am only staying because my dad goes there for treatment and I can easily get his appointments changed/ and all meds.
I have gone through what most people experience in a lifetime. I don't know what to do anymore.