I hope you don't need to go that route either........
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I seriously regret the day I ever said "yes"....
- Thread starter white cat lover
- Start Date
Oh man, this has happened to me too, only my cat's name is "Mr. White" and he is so damn territorial that he has attacked all of our new cats every time we bring them to our home. In addition, when he's in heat he attacks and bullies all of the male cats (smaller or even bigger than him).
It got to the point once that I just wanted to get rid of him, but I ended up not having the heart to do so. A friend advice me to spay and neuter him because this might calm him down. I did and miraculously, it worked!
Mr. White is now this calm, lazy, fat cat.
It got to the point once that I just wanted to get rid of him, but I ended up not having the heart to do so. A friend advice me to spay and neuter him because this might calm him down. I did and miraculously, it worked!
Mr. White is now this calm, lazy, fat cat.
i am glad the drugs are chiling her out a bit more, but i do believe that rehoming is a better long term option. I have been in your situation before, fortunately all bar one were fosters, so only here temporarily anyway, and it isn't an easy decision in the slightest. I only realised how bad things were with Ginger and Tigger (Tig was the aggressive one, towards both me and Ginger) when she became ill and subsequently had to be pts, his character changed so completely I felt guilty and wasn't going to ever get another cat for his sake (that changed though). Maybe the option of using friends to home temporarily until you can move out would be the best one? I am sorry you are having to go through this though, but you need to think of the needs of both girls.
Oh Natalie, I just found this thread and my heart is breaking for you!
But it sounds like you are still working on some avenues that might just work.
I am keeping my fingers crossed and sending vibes that Ophelia continues to get better and better.
It sounds like you are really exploring all the options, and that things may yet work out. Good vibes and hopes still coming from here.
I feel for your situation. I had one that was fairly similar. To give you just the basics, my cat Kitty used to be normal and with in 2 months changed completely. I didn't even know her she was very aggressive to others and my other cat. Not me though and she eventually wouldn't leave my bedroom. Then it got so bad that she wouldn't leave this table that I had in my bedroom. I ended up have to put the food and stuff right at table. Anyways I told my vet and we tried some new approaches to reconditioning her thinking. re-training her in esence. Nothing worked it just got worse and worse. She suggested Prozac 5mg. I was very unsure what to do but I really had tried everything else. So I tried it. 8-9 months later she went from on a scale of 1-10 in behavior levels from 1 to now 8. To me that is incredible. I can't be thankful enough. I have her periodically checked with vet. Everything is so great for my household now. I would suggest trying it. if you have any questions about my situation and the use of prozac on my cat feel free to let me know and I'll do my best to help answer questions.
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It'll never work out between the two. Ophelia attacked Lily last night. My mom is diabetic & she got "loopy". Couldn't tell Twitch from Ophelia & let Ophelia upstairs. Ophelia attakced Lily, but gave up when Lily was whopping her bum.
All the temporary homes that I've looked into won't work out. Ophelia attacked my friends dog. At this point, we're going to keep both of them & continue to look for temporary places, I'm not ready to give Ophelia up yet. I also don't think anyone will want her.
All the temporary homes that I've looked into won't work out. Ophelia attacked my friends dog. At this point, we're going to keep both of them & continue to look for temporary places, I'm not ready to give Ophelia up yet. I also don't think anyone will want her.
white cat lover,
I'm late to this thread, but I offer my sympathy and good wishes as well. I'm not familiar with Ophelia's background, but it sounds similar to a situation I was in. My husband and I noticed a stray (~9 months old) hanging around our house. One really cold winter day, I couldn't stand her being out in the cold and I managed to stuff her in a cage and take her to the vet. Clean bill of health and, despite (by all appearances) being an outside cat without owners, she was very friendly to humans. Unfortunately, she was completely different around other cats. I tried to find another home for this cat (Nory) but didn't have any luck, so we decided we'd adopt her. We tried numerous times (over a 3 month period) to introduce her to our other cats. Sometimes she would ignore them and sleep peacefully by them and other times she would attack them (for seemingly no reason). The eerie thing is that there wasn't really any warning when she was going to attack either--no growling or hissing; she would just run and jump one of the other cats. Poor Elvin had a permanent scab between his shoulder blades from her jumping him and biting him on the shoulders. Our female, Hilda, experienced the worst of it. Hilda became very anxious and would always run when she saw Nory; if caught by the Nory, she would urinate. Our vet said that Nory most likely had never been socialized with other cats and that, unfortuantely, Hilda running from her made it worse. Aside from suggestions on socialization techniques (which didn't work), he suggested giving Prozac to Nory & Hilda (so Hilda could learn not to be scared of Nory). Although I completely support the use of Prozac (or other similar drugs) with pets, my husband and I decided that we were not comfortable taking that route for several reasons. We decided to work harder at finding Nory another home and made sure to never let her have any interaction with Hilda again (she was locked in our study while we were at work and we would let her have the run of the house [with our other cats locked up] when we got home]). It was very stressful and I felt bad about keeping Nory locked in one room for most of the day. Weeks went by without any luck in finding another home. In the end, we were VERY lucky: a co-worker of mine rented land for her horses, and the an elderly woman she rented land from had a large old house full of mice. She adopted Nory as a "mouser". I still feel guilty about letting Nory go (she was very sweet to humans), but I know it was best for my other cats.
Based on my (non-expert) experience, I would tend to agree that it is unlikely that Lily will ever feel fully comfortable around Ophelia without BOTH of them receiving Prozac (or similar drugs) on a regular basis (and even then, I think it's iffy). I don't know if Ophelia has a chemical imbalance or just wasn't properly socialized with other cats before you got her, but her interactions with Lily have created a dynamic that I think is impossible to undo.
I wish I had suggestions for you on how to find her another home--I know how hard it is! I tried calling various no-kill organizations, including ones that foster out cats, and they were all overburdened. I had concerns about potential homes too: it needed to be an inside only home with no kids (not sure how she would react) or other pets. All I can suggest is perhaps trying to find someone you know (or someone who knows someone you know), who might be willing to "foster" her while you continue to look for a permanent home for her (maybe you'll get lucky and her foster parent will decide to keep her!). I agree that it would be dangerous to rehome her if there are other pets in the home. If you are worried about her being lonely (and therefore not working out if you rehome her to a home that doesn't have other pets), maybe you could rehome her with the other cat she gets along with?
Anyway, just wanted to wish you well. I know how difficult, stressful, and frustrating this situation is.
I'm late to this thread, but I offer my sympathy and good wishes as well. I'm not familiar with Ophelia's background, but it sounds similar to a situation I was in. My husband and I noticed a stray (~9 months old) hanging around our house. One really cold winter day, I couldn't stand her being out in the cold and I managed to stuff her in a cage and take her to the vet. Clean bill of health and, despite (by all appearances) being an outside cat without owners, she was very friendly to humans. Unfortunately, she was completely different around other cats. I tried to find another home for this cat (Nory) but didn't have any luck, so we decided we'd adopt her. We tried numerous times (over a 3 month period) to introduce her to our other cats. Sometimes she would ignore them and sleep peacefully by them and other times she would attack them (for seemingly no reason). The eerie thing is that there wasn't really any warning when she was going to attack either--no growling or hissing; she would just run and jump one of the other cats. Poor Elvin had a permanent scab between his shoulder blades from her jumping him and biting him on the shoulders. Our female, Hilda, experienced the worst of it. Hilda became very anxious and would always run when she saw Nory; if caught by the Nory, she would urinate. Our vet said that Nory most likely had never been socialized with other cats and that, unfortuantely, Hilda running from her made it worse. Aside from suggestions on socialization techniques (which didn't work), he suggested giving Prozac to Nory & Hilda (so Hilda could learn not to be scared of Nory). Although I completely support the use of Prozac (or other similar drugs) with pets, my husband and I decided that we were not comfortable taking that route for several reasons. We decided to work harder at finding Nory another home and made sure to never let her have any interaction with Hilda again (she was locked in our study while we were at work and we would let her have the run of the house [with our other cats locked up] when we got home]). It was very stressful and I felt bad about keeping Nory locked in one room for most of the day. Weeks went by without any luck in finding another home. In the end, we were VERY lucky: a co-worker of mine rented land for her horses, and the an elderly woman she rented land from had a large old house full of mice. She adopted Nory as a "mouser". I still feel guilty about letting Nory go (she was very sweet to humans), but I know it was best for my other cats.
Based on my (non-expert) experience, I would tend to agree that it is unlikely that Lily will ever feel fully comfortable around Ophelia without BOTH of them receiving Prozac (or similar drugs) on a regular basis (and even then, I think it's iffy). I don't know if Ophelia has a chemical imbalance or just wasn't properly socialized with other cats before you got her, but her interactions with Lily have created a dynamic that I think is impossible to undo.
I wish I had suggestions for you on how to find her another home--I know how hard it is! I tried calling various no-kill organizations, including ones that foster out cats, and they were all overburdened. I had concerns about potential homes too: it needed to be an inside only home with no kids (not sure how she would react) or other pets. All I can suggest is perhaps trying to find someone you know (or someone who knows someone you know), who might be willing to "foster" her while you continue to look for a permanent home for her (maybe you'll get lucky and her foster parent will decide to keep her!). I agree that it would be dangerous to rehome her if there are other pets in the home. If you are worried about her being lonely (and therefore not working out if you rehome her to a home that doesn't have other pets), maybe you could rehome her with the other cat she gets along with?
Anyway, just wanted to wish you well. I know how difficult, stressful, and frustrating this situation is.
Isn't that "different" for Lily to defend herself with Ophelia?Originally Posted by white cat lover
It'll never work out between the two. Ophelia attacked Lily last night. My mom is diabetic & she got "loopy". Couldn't tell Twitch from Ophelia & let Ophelia upstairs. Ophelia attakced Lily, but gave up when Lily was whopping her bum.
All the temporary homes that I've looked into won't work out. Ophelia attacked my friends dog. At this point, we're going to keep both of them & continue to look for temporary places, I'm not ready to give Ophelia up yet. I also don't think anyone will want her.
If so, the dynamics could be making a positive turn. With Lily finally fighting back, Ophelia may be a little less inclined to attack her.
My best to you and your crew for positive directions.
That is a very good point. I hope things improve.Originally Posted by tru
Isn't that "different" for Lily to defend herself with Ophelia?
If so, the dynamics could be making a positive turn. With Lily finally fighting back, Ophelia may be a little less inclined to attack her.
My best to you and your crew for positive directions.
I don't think that Lily fighting back necessarily = a happier Lily, though.
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Lily is so.....Lily. I don't know how to explain this. She is a mouthy little purring snuggle bug. The Lily who is sitting in my lap right now has an ego about the size of Mt. Rushmore. Since her winning over Ophelia, I swear her head has gotten 4x the size it was!
I hope that Lily is finally learning how to fight back. I guess I just feel bad that Lily never knew how to fight, it was unfair to make my feline household larger. I should've known Lily would be the "beating sack" of someone.Originally Posted by tru
Isn't that "different" for Lily to defend herself with Ophelia?
If so, the dynamics could be making a positive turn. With Lily finally fighting back, Ophelia may be a little less inclined to attack her.
My best to you and your crew for positive directions.
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I honestly still don't know what I'm going to do. I really do not want to re-home Ophelia since I can have her away from Lily in a year. For now, I think I am going to continue to keep them seperated all the time.
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Just thought I'd dig this thread out to post an update.
After what....5 months? of Buspar....I've been naughty & not giving Ophelia her pills, just to see what happens(I hate the idea of pilling her for the rest of her life 2x a day). She is not fighting with Molly or Dorky Fish at all. The only "side effects" of the Buspar remaining are the purring, snuggling, & she's easier to clip her nails.
I am not 100% sure the Buspar is no longer in her system, but I don't think it is.
Ophelia & Lily still have no contact. I have been tussling with myself over the vets suggestion of having them both on Buspar for 1 month, then trying re-introductions. Both are anxious cats & I do believe that Lily would also benefit from Buspar.....but I do not want it to be a "long-term" solution. So, for the time being while I debate this, Lily lives upstairs with Damita & Twitch as usual, and Ophelia is downstairs with Dorky & Molly. I have peace in my house.
The other thing...Ophelia clearly is more tolerant of males. She has very few issues with PJ & Punky the foster boys. Her one issue is they are annoying kittens.
But that cannot be helped.
for all the suggestions, support, everything. I had no idea what to do anymore when I posted this thread, but your support pushed me to try & explore my options once again.
After what....5 months? of Buspar....I've been naughty & not giving Ophelia her pills, just to see what happens(I hate the idea of pilling her for the rest of her life 2x a day). She is not fighting with Molly or Dorky Fish at all. The only "side effects" of the Buspar remaining are the purring, snuggling, & she's easier to clip her nails.
Ophelia & Lily still have no contact. I have been tussling with myself over the vets suggestion of having them both on Buspar for 1 month, then trying re-introductions. Both are anxious cats & I do believe that Lily would also benefit from Buspar.....but I do not want it to be a "long-term" solution. So, for the time being while I debate this, Lily lives upstairs with Damita & Twitch as usual, and Ophelia is downstairs with Dorky & Molly. I have peace in my house.
The other thing...Ophelia clearly is more tolerant of males. She has very few issues with PJ & Punky the foster boys. Her one issue is they are annoying kittens.
That's fantastic!
woohoooo!
Aw, I feel so bad for you. It makes me want to cry. I have no advice but will pray for you and your cats.
That's great news, Natalie.
