- Joined
- Apr 30, 2010
- Messages
- 227
- Purraise
- 173
It is day 12 of my life without him. I am doing better than I expected to, but there are times, like right now, when I just almost can’t stand being in this world without him.
My nightly routine is so sad and quiet without him bringing me a toy ball and howling about it loudly. He was so proud of himself when he brought me those toys. Then he would wait on the rug by the bed for me to give him his bedtime treats and to get some pats and he would ALWAYS purr. God how I miss that purr.
Jaspurr came from a bad situation as a kitten. He had spent the first three months of his life in a cage and had not been socialized at all. He was so afraid of everything I almost pulled my hair out trying to keep him from hiding out under the sofa. He would literally stay under there for the entire day, only coming out to eat or poop. He never did fully recover and was always anxious and timid. But he loved me. I was his person, and even though he didn’t ever quite know how to let his guard down completely, he gave as much of himself to me as he could. He wouldn’t always want me to pick him up, but when I did he would just melt into my arms and tuck that soft head under my chin. That wonderful strong, loud purr was instant when I got near him. I felt honored being the only one in the world he would allow to love on him and the only one he loved. That is where a lot of my sadness comes from now that he is gone. I know if Jaspurr had been treated better as a kitten before I met him he would have had a better life. I feel like he had to struggle every day to fight the anxiety he always had just about life in general. No matter what I did, he just couldn’t let go and be a happy, uninhibited boy. Those rare moments when he seemed to relax are my favorite memories of him. I would be so thrilled to see him asleep on his back or watch him run across the room to see a bird out the window. He was just getting to the point where he was mellowing out a little (at 11 years old) when the damn cancer struck and took him. He had a bad start at life. I was hoping for a better ending for him. I tried my best to make the years in between the best they could be.
I know we all think our kitties are special. Jaspurr was. And he made me feel special. I will miss him forever.
My nightly routine is so sad and quiet without him bringing me a toy ball and howling about it loudly. He was so proud of himself when he brought me those toys. Then he would wait on the rug by the bed for me to give him his bedtime treats and to get some pats and he would ALWAYS purr. God how I miss that purr.
Jaspurr came from a bad situation as a kitten. He had spent the first three months of his life in a cage and had not been socialized at all. He was so afraid of everything I almost pulled my hair out trying to keep him from hiding out under the sofa. He would literally stay under there for the entire day, only coming out to eat or poop. He never did fully recover and was always anxious and timid. But he loved me. I was his person, and even though he didn’t ever quite know how to let his guard down completely, he gave as much of himself to me as he could. He wouldn’t always want me to pick him up, but when I did he would just melt into my arms and tuck that soft head under my chin. That wonderful strong, loud purr was instant when I got near him. I felt honored being the only one in the world he would allow to love on him and the only one he loved. That is where a lot of my sadness comes from now that he is gone. I know if Jaspurr had been treated better as a kitten before I met him he would have had a better life. I feel like he had to struggle every day to fight the anxiety he always had just about life in general. No matter what I did, he just couldn’t let go and be a happy, uninhibited boy. Those rare moments when he seemed to relax are my favorite memories of him. I would be so thrilled to see him asleep on his back or watch him run across the room to see a bird out the window. He was just getting to the point where he was mellowing out a little (at 11 years old) when the damn cancer struck and took him. He had a bad start at life. I was hoping for a better ending for him. I tried my best to make the years in between the best they could be.
I know we all think our kitties are special. Jaspurr was. And he made me feel special. I will miss him forever.