I miss you aready Jynx, I hope to see you again.

thanatos0042

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Sadly, I come forth here again. This morning was the passing of my oldest, most persnickety cat. She was a special rescue and she was *MY* cat and I was *HER* human.

She was 15/16 - she was a rescue from the north and was the last of my northern cats. After I rescued her, shortly after the rest of the litter was killed terribly through human indenceny and an accident from a cat. I hope those that took her mother and sibling founds or will find karmic justice somehow.

She had started to move stiffly this week and started to eat a bit less - so I got the meds for her that stimulate her appetite and took her to the vet for a semi-regular antibiotics shot, this seem to stem her issues (last year we did blood work and it all came back just fine). But the night before the vet visit she started to do this abdominal breathing thing, labored. It wasn't so bad I didn't think it could it wait till the morning - and it did. I took her, got the shot, got extra antibiotics and brought her home. But she barely ate, though she drank water okay. We decided we'd go on and take her in for X-rays if a day of meds didn't clear up the issue. Once early AM happened her breathing got worse and then it was rapid from that point on - We got he to the vet, but in the parking loy she turned away from me and started to writhe and gasp and I grasped her in my hand and held her until she was still, got her out of the carrier and held her and took her into the vet who said she was gone. Seeing her gasping and writhing around was horrible and I hated having to see it, but I am glad I was able to touch her as she passed, she always knew my touch.

I will of course, keep her ashes and all my little boxes can go with me when I do.

As I always do, I'm going to include my other threads.

You were loved, Anna (dear Anna - I still feel so guilty over your passing)
Goodbye sweet Eva... (sweet, Eva)
My Poor Sox... (or Socks, we joked)
Farewell My Friend...(Morpheus)
Another Story To Add... (Mal, Ashe and mentions of others)

Here is our story:

I had always wanted a black cat, I mean, with my name how could I NOT have a black cat? Jynx was the only cat I could resuce out of a litter from a neighbor in the north. As I mentioned, no others ultimately survived bad care and deliberate sabotage of their lives. She very quickly bonded to me and became my constant companion. She hunted well, she played hard and she spent many nights curled up in bed with me, up on the corner near my pillow. She loved Morpheus and Mal, she never bonded to any other cats like the two of them. They were a trio for sure. All 3 from the north - Morpheus and Jynx from Iowa and Mal from Illionis.

We slowly rescued and acquired other cats over time and they would all generally get along with the 3 of them, even if they didn't get along with the others. She was always there for me when I lost one - I could count on her curling up beside me or calling to me to come get her to bring her to me. She loved her mousies and laser light and even still got in a little bit of playing despite having gotten so much older.

Her health was never the best. As a kitten all she was fed after being separated from her mother was canned tuna and occasional cat food. She had bouts of worms in those first years that were terrible and hard to beat. Keeping weight on her wasn't a challenge though, as she was very food motivated and would often pull food off my plate, deciding that meat was her by Right of the Hunt.

She was a cream fiend too, she loved whipped cream and ice cream and I could never leave those unattended around her, though I always did share. She would always steal my computer chair, to the point I kept an extra chair at my desk so I could just sit in it and let her have the warm spot. As she got older and both Mal and Morpheus passed, she slowly stopped coming upstairs to sleep with me. I'd bring her up sometimes, but eventually she'd get up and just go back downstairs to where it was cooler. She was never a fan of the heat really.

I moved my desk around so she had easy access to a chair, tv tray ,water, food (wet and dry) and a potty. She never had to go far and I set up furniture so it was a minimum of effort for her to get around. She never strayed far from me or my desk. I kept some old t-shirts around too to lay on the desk and chair so she could curl up on them comfortably.

She was super persnickety too, she would sometimes get a wild hair and just start biting and lightly clawing at my ankles for no reason to swipe and smack at other cats who just happened to be near her or her human. Some of the younger cats would try to play with her, but she'd shoo them away, she was having none of that. And even Loki (our most troublesome cat, who outweighed her by 10 lbs and even bullys the 80lbs husky) would defer to her entirely.

She really was the Queen of this domain. I already miss her. I will miss seing her every morning and having her craw into my lap as I was trying to log in to get working for the day. I wish I had encourged her more, instead of not, but i didn't ever fail to love on her and on her last night, I spent as much time as I could with her, even sleeping beside her on the pads on the floor in the bathroom where we were keeping it warm for her. I wish I could have done more for her, but I bad as I feel, I am not sure there was much to be done, especially at her age.

I love and miss you jynx and I hope we will cross paths once again, along with all the others I've loved and lost.

Some favorite pictures

Morpheus, Ashe and baby Jynx.

All the rest are her - on my desk, innocently on the floor, protecting us from a paper towel roll and a well deserved nap on my desk.
 

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thanatos0042

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Thank you, need all those well wishes right now, this one hits me as hard as Anna's passing when she was taken terribly....and I appreciate your kind words...very much.

And I pray we do.
 

pawdre

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You’re so very welcome! I really can’t imagine going through something like that. Stay strong, I know things aren’t okay right now but they will be. Hang in there and you can always connect with your extended cat family on here if you ever need support
 

Mamanyt1953

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Rest you gentle, Jynx, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

From a life of horror to a life in which she lived, breathed and had her being surrounded by love...What a gift to give to her, and I know she gave as much back to you! And this I also know, it is the Deepest Truth I know, that love never dies. It is translated and purified into Love, and continues on. And from her new home in That Place Where All Things Are Known, she blesses you, and she sends her Love back to you to walk beside you down through all of your days. Because Love abides. Always, forever, Love abides.
 

di and bob

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What a beautiful tribute to a little black panther......It's hard to say goodbye, even when we know it is inevitable. I'm so glad you were able to be with her at the end, she took great comfort by being near the one she loved above all else. The house will seem emptier now, the days a little quieter, the heart a little less happy, but time will dull the sharp edges of grief and will bring a sense of peace when you realize she will always occupy a space in your soul and will always be as close as your thoughts n prayers. She leaves her body behind, but her beautiful little soul flies free.
No matter how many times we go through losing one of our loved ones, it never gets any easier, any less devastating. We cannot prepare the heart for the pain that follows. I pray you can find comfort in knowing you gave her such a wonderful life, such a wonderful family, and find joy in your memories of her in the past. You gained so much by having her in your life, it would not have been the same at all if you would have never met her. So go forward into your future and live it as you would have wanted her to live if you had been the first to go, she would want no less because that is love. Celebrate having her in your life and continue to send her your love, she will forever be sending her own your way......RIP precious Jynx. You will never be forgotten, you will always have a secure place in a loving herat. may the good Lord bless and keep you, until you, until you meet again!
 

epona

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I am so sorry for your loss.

Death is not always an easy or a quiet thing and when we are able to provide that for our beloved animal friends when they reach the end it is indeed a blessing. When it occurs naturally as you saw it with your little one it can sometimes be a bit rough, but please try not to be distressed by that - you were doing everything right for her and providing the best of care, it isn't always possible to get them to the vet in time to make that passing smoother, and please believe me she will have been comforted by your presence and touch and knowing you were close at the end, as you had been there for her every day since you first met.

Despite her poor start in life, clearly the rest of it with you was wonderful and filled with love.

Rest in peace little Jynx xx
 
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thanatos0042

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Thank you all for your kind words and support - the morning she passed, I have to leave later in the day to drive to Iowa (from Houston) for a funeral. So i haven't had time to properly grieve for her yet. I am sure I'll fall apart completely this weekend when I get back and have her ashes back.

You are right, it will never quite be the same without her and I'll never have another cat that did the things she did really. I'm going to miss her so much when I get back to my regular routine. All the little things she did. I can certainly use the prayers and good thoughts, I'm really going to need them soon.

I really appreciate the things each of you has said and the support you've provided, because no matter how hard I try, there's always some doubt and some guilt that I missed something that could have changed the outcome of the situation. I'm not sure anything really could have in this particular instance, but there's always that seed of doubt.

This one is going to hurt for a long while...

thank you.
 

Margot Lane

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What a dear tribute to a sweet & subtle little lady! We’re all here for you, and when you get to that moment where the floodgates open, we are still here…write more if you need to…I really do think you did all you could and at least you were there with her: that counts for so much. I’m positive she knew you loved her and did your utmost to make her whole life warm and comfortable. Am so stunned by those incredibly long white whiskers! Enjoy the good memories that come in alongside the grief & they will steer you to a place of peace. That special “my” “her” connection will never end. :hearthrob::redheartpump:
 
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thanatos0042

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I just got back from picking up my baby's ashes and I am a wreck once again, though I knew there was no avoiding it once I brought her home, at least she is home.

Thank you again for all your kindness, it always helps to there are people here who grieve with you and who know the pain is as
poignant as losing anyone you love out of your life.

she did have super long whiskers. I have to say, I had the vet tech cut me her last 2 black whiskers and her long ones to keep and I'll put them with the paw print and nose print and hair clipping I got from the cremation.

The Vet actually came out to talk to me today, he know how incredibly important she was to me and we talked about all of it again and he assured me, the x-ray might have revealed a problem, but it might not have and it would hae put her under so much trauma and stress, she might not have survived it. That would have made me feel even worse, had I not been there at end. I think he was doing his best to make sure I didn't have any guilt, since I had seen him 24 hours before she passed.

i have included 2 more photos. One of her little box and then her little box with the others, where I keep them in rememberance.

Ashe & Her & Anna
Eva & Sox
Mal & Morpheus
and the little bags of all thair hair, nose prints and paw prints, cermation certs, etc.

We never scattered their ashes as they are going to be mixed with mine and some buried in the family cemetary and then the rest scattered around the place.
 

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