I just received a birthday card for my late cat...

ColoradoCat

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Hello all,

Back in March, I made the decision to put my cat, Oreo, to sleep. He'd been ill for a while and had kidney disease, cardiomyopathy, and arthritis. He'd suddenly declined over the course of about a week and I took him into the vet to get checked out. Unfortunately, they found multiple masses upon palpation and in the X-rays and we concluded that he almost certainly had cancer. I'd already made the decision that I'd let him go if he was ever diagnosed, but it was still an incredibly difficult thing to have to do. Thankfully, a few hours later, my foster mama gave birth to seven beautiful kittens who have all since grown up and been adopted. I don't know what I would have done if they hadn't shown up when they did as they really helped me process my grief.

All was going well until a couple days ago, when I checked the mail and found something addressed to me from Chewy. I didn't use the site much and had honestly forgotten that Oreo had a profile on my account. I opened it up and found a birthday card telling my little guy that they hoped he got lots of treats and cuddles on his special day. Normally, I would've thought it was really sweet, but given the circumstances, it was a punch in the gut. He would've been 18 early next month and I'd had him since I was 10. I know I made the right decision—his quality of life had deteriorated drastically over the course of the past year—and I know I gave him a good life over the 17 years I had him, but I still miss him terribly. I've been crying quite a bit since I got the card, but I can't bring myself to throw it out for whatever reason. I miss my baby so much.
 

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I'm so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how painful that was for you.

I'd recommend contacting them. You can do an online chat with them to let them know. Not as a complaint but just so you don't have to go through that again. Their customer service is wonderful and they will understand.
 
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ColoradoCat

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I'm so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how painful that was for you.

I'd recommend contacting them. You can do an online chat with them to let them know. Not as a complaint but just so you don't have to go through that again. Their customer service is wonderful and they will understand.
Thank you. It was quite a shock. I ended up deleting Oreo's profile off my account with the explanation that he'd passed away. I ended up crying again after that because I was thinking about all the nice things I would've loved to do for his birthday.
 

Kat0121

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Thank you. It was quite a shock. I ended up deleting Oreo's profile off my account with the explanation that he'd passed away. I ended up crying again after that because I was thinking about all the nice things I would've loved to do for his birthday.
He's still a part of you and you are still a part of him. The bond that you shared with him is unbreakable, unshakeable and irreplaceable. Death doesn't change that. I like to think of death as life's way of hitting a pause button. He's waiting for you and when the time is right, you will be reunited again and your friendship will pick right back up again as if no time had passed. We miss them terribly when they go because they give us so much and make our lives so much better. Time doesn't really heal wounds. It makes it easier to live with them. Hold onto your memories of him. I know that right now they make you cry but the day will come when they will make you smile. He wouldn't want you to ever be unhappy. He loves you. I don't use the past tense of that word because his love for you is forever, just as yours for him is.

Celebrate his birthday. Talk about him. Get yourself a treat, add a candle to it and blow it out for him. Instead of making a wish you could just wish him a happy birthday and tell him you love him. He knows, of course, but they like to hear it as much as we do.

Hang in there. You will be OK. We're here for you. Most of us know how you feel. Talk about him as much as you want. Post your favorite photos of him. We never get tired of talking about our babies and we LOVE pictures of them. :hugs::rbheart:
 

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I received the same thing from them. They don't know unless we tell them. I can't blame them, I enjoyed them while my little one was still alive. It still is a shock, and a blow to the heart, because it brings up the reminder of our little one's passing. these reminders, such as anniversaries, or coming across a favorite photo or toy, will always be there to rip us in two. all I can say is it DOES get easier with time. When your heart and soul finally processes what happened and stores it away in a secure spot. Eventually, the hurt and horrible feelings get replaced with reminders of what we shared, the joy of sharing your life's journey with Oreo, the simple enjoyment of life that Oreo had, like all cats, the fact that he would be horrified to know he caused such pain in your life. We have to go on because we are alive. And do it as we would want for our little ones to go on if we were the first to go. That is love. We can't allow death to win. To take two lives instead of one. None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow, and to miss the joys and beauty of life because we are blinded by grief is against everything truly living stands for. That is why, somehow, we must seize every second of life we have and grab what love and happiness we can out of every single day. To let as much love as we can into our hearts to strengthen what is already there, to add on to it, and make it even more special. You will never get over this, you learn to live once more despite it.
My heart goes out to you, I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. One day you will think of Oreo and feel not sadness, but happiness once more. Because you will realize what a treasure you received, and for so many years. You will thank that sweet boy for being with you, for showing you what love truly is, and though you will feel a pang of sorrow for his leaving, the love you have for him will come forward and you will know for certain he is always there, sending his love and comforting you however he can because the bond of love is spiritual, so eternal......RIP dear Oreo, and I know you are because you are so dearly loved......
 

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You might find a different way to celebrate Oreo's birthday.
Possibly a small donation to a local rescue or shelter.
Maybe they have a "Items Needed List", with things like heating pads for ill cats or kittens, sponsor a senior cat for one month to honor your 17 year old?
 
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ColoradoCat

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He's still a part of you and you are still a part of him. The bond that you shared with him is unbreakable, unshakeable and irreplaceable. Death doesn't change that. I like to think of death as life's way of hitting a pause button. He's waiting for you and when the time is right, you will be reunited again and your friendship will pick right back up again as if no time had passed. We miss them terribly when they go because they give us so much and make our lives so much better. Time doesn't really heal wounds. It makes it easier to live with them. Hold onto your memories of him. I know that right now they make you cry but the day will come when they will make you smile. He wouldn't want you to ever be unhappy. He loves you. I don't use the past tense of that word because his love for you is forever, just as yours for him is.

Celebrate his birthday. Talk about him. Get yourself a treat, add a candle to it and blow it out for him. Instead of making a wish you could just wish him a happy birthday and tell him you love him. He knows, of course, but they like to hear it as much as we do.

Hang in there. You will be OK. We're here for you. Most of us know how you feel. Talk about him as much as you want. Post your favorite photos of him. We never get tired of talking about our babies and we LOVE pictures of them. :hugs::rbheart:
Thank you. This is one of the sweetest things anyone has every said to me. I'd like to think that he's still out there somewhere, free from pain and healthy again. I think I will celebrate his birthday. It was always such a special day when he was here with me and I'd like to keep it that way.
 
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ColoradoCat

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I received the same thing from them. They don't know unless we tell them. I can't blame them, I enjoyed them while my little one was still alive. It still is a shock, and a blow to the heart, because it brings up the reminder of our little one's passing. these reminders, such as anniversaries, or coming across a favorite photo or toy, will always be there to rip us in two. all I can say is it DOES get easier with time. When your heart and soul finally processes what happened and stores it away in a secure spot. Eventually, the hurt and horrible feelings get replaced with reminders of what we shared, the joy of sharing your life's journey with Oreo, the simple enjoyment of life that Oreo had, like all cats, the fact that he would be horrified to know he caused such pain in your life. We have to go on because we are alive. And do it as we would want for our little ones to go on if we were the first to go. That is love. We can't allow death to win. To take two lives instead of one. None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow, and to miss the joys and beauty of life because we are blinded by grief is against everything truly living stands for. That is why, somehow, we must seize every second of life we have and grab what love and happiness we can out of every single day. To let as much love as we can into our hearts to strengthen what is already there, to add on to it, and make it even more special. You will never get over this, you learn to live once more despite it.
My heart goes out to you, I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. One day you will think of Oreo and feel not sadness, but happiness once more. Because you will realize what a treasure you received, and for so many years. You will thank that sweet boy for being with you, for showing you what love truly is, and though you will feel a pang of sorrow for his leaving, the love you have for him will come forward and you will know for certain he is always there, sending his love and comforting you however he can because the bond of love is spiritual, so eternal......RIP dear Oreo, and I know you are because you are so dearly loved......
Thank you. It really was quite a shock, though I do appreciate the card on some strange level. I'm really glad I got to share my life with him, even though it hurts so much to lose him.
 
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ColoradoCat

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You might find a different way to celebrate Oreo's birthday.
Possibly a small donation to a local rescue or shelter.
Maybe they have a "Items Needed List", with things like heating pads for ill cats or kittens, sponsor a senior cat for one month to honor your 17 year old?
I might just do that. Maybe I'll do something nice for my current foster kittens in his honor. I'd actually love to adopt another cat and save a life to honor his, but I'm living with my parents right now and they're unfortunately opposed to any permanent new pets right now. Perhaps sometime in the future, though.
 

Kat0121

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I might just do that. Maybe I'll do something nice for my current foster kittens in his honor. I'd actually love to adopt another cat and save a life to honor his, but I'm living with my parents right now and they're unfortunately opposed to any permanent new pets right now. Perhaps sometime in the future, though.
I'm not ready to get another one now but when I get the urge I go to the website of a local no kill shelter and pay the adoption fee on the oldest cat they have. It really does help them get homes. Many places will let you do that in memory of a beloved pet who has gone to the bridge.
 
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ColoradoCat

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I'm not ready to get another one now but when I get the urge I go to the website of a local no kill shelter and pay the adoption fee on the oldest cat they have. It really does help them get homes. Many places will let you do that in memory of a beloved pet who has gone to the bridge.
That sounds like a lovely idea. I might talk to someone at the shelter I volunteer for about that.
 
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ColoradoCat

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Thanks so much for all the kind words, everyone. I can't even begin to tell you how much they've helped. This really is a wonderful community and I'm so glad I discovered it. I thought I'd add a few photos of him on here, just because I feel like sharing. The last photo is of him snuggling up next to me (and purring) IMG_3903.jpeg IMG_0047.JPG IMG_1418.JPG while I was gaming circa 2013 or so, something he enjoyed doing every day of his life.
 
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