I Have More Trust Issues Than This Feral..

Buffster7

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That was a great update from yesterday afternoon! No tufts of fur is definitely good. And them grooming together sounds good as well. And I think that might have something to do with Charlie's interaction with you. I've read before of someone getting a new cat, and the 2 cats hitting it off really well, but the original cat no longer being as clingy to the human. So that might be happening with Charlie.
Thanks! I could see that happening if the two were truly in a bonding stage. However, there is still hissing and growling at Finn from Charlie on a daily basis, albeit much less than there used to be, so I don't think his standoffishness is due to transferred affections just yet. I don't even know how to go about searching this topic on the site, but I assume this is a common issue when adding another cat. I just wonder if Charlie will every return to his affectionate personality, how long that normally takes, or if this change is permanent.
 

pearl99

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No, Finn's sundowning has greatly lessened! He still does it, but probably about 15% of the time he used to do it before. And I do think it's tied to anxiety - he will do it if Charlie and he get in a tussle and Charlie is after him.

Now, about Charlie. He is acting so much more standoffish. You can see how far he is sitting from me on the bed. There was a time when he sat up right against me. Last night it was a victory that he was just on the bed. I don't even know if he slept with us last night - I could not get him to come to bed and eventually gave up and turned the lights out and went to sleep. My solution to the mornings has been to feed Finn in my room and close the door; he goes back to bed (watched him on the monitor). Charlie and I sit in front of the fireplace and wake up slowly with coffee. This morning Charlie isn't even sitting with me. Why so standoffish? Is he protesting the addition of Finn to the bedroom? Will he eventually go back to normal? Or has our interaction forever changed?
I'm glad to hear Finn's sundowning is less :thumbsup:. No answer about Charlie. It's makes some sense he's adjusting to Finn in the bedroom. If that's it them time would be on your side, and as you are doing having alone time with Charlie, and extra attention to him would be a good thing to do.
 

Buffster7

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It could be jealousy, it could be adjustment, it could be hurt feelings...do cats get their feelings hurt? Finn is a cuddler. If I'm sitting down, he often tries to find my lap, so it's not uncommon for Charlie to walk in and see Finn sitting with me. Maybe he he has a touch of oldest sibling syndrome.

I left them alone this morning when I went to an appointment (in the morning!!) and I could see Charlie on his perch the whole time. I'm not sure where Finn goes, but he was nowhere to be seen. Still, a morning without fussing and being left alone - progress!

Now to decide if they are ready to be left alone for a full day? What do you guys think? I will have to be gone all day every day next week. My next best option would be to lock Finn in my bedroom (larger than his room), but I don't know what Charlie would think about that. Or I can close Finn in his room all day. I hate that for him after having his freedom, but if you guys think it's too risky to leave them alone all day at this point. Thanks so much, as always, for all of your valuable input! :hugs:
 

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You have some time before you have to decide about leaving them together. Since Charlie has his “whiskers out of whack” I would leave Finn in his previous room if that is required.
I think we see jealousy a bit differently from cats. With cats I think it’s more about loosing ground. Charlie still needs time. I bet you get tired of reading that! Sorry. Since Finn is more a snuggler, he’s getting snuggles. Charlie, less a snuggler sees that and , although he may not want to do it, Finn is in the prime spot. This takes some sorting out.
I think there just has to be some kind of “prize” for Charlie. Whatever his favorite thing is, try to give him more of that without Finn. Maybe you need to sit by the window and squirrel/ bunny watch with him! Lol It doesn’t have to be lengthy periods, just enough time for him to fully register, it’s just you and him.
 

Buffster7

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You have some time before you have to decide about leaving them together. Since Charlie has his “whiskers out of whack” I would leave Finn in his previous room if that is required.
I think we see jealousy a bit differently from cats. With cats I think it’s more about loosing ground. Charlie still needs time. I bet you get tired of reading that! Sorry. Since Finn is more a snuggler, he’s getting snuggles. Charlie, less a snuggler sees that and , although he may not want to do it, Finn is in the prime spot. This takes some sorting out.
I think there just has to be some kind of “prize” for Charlie. Whatever his favorite thing is, try to give him more of that without Finn. Maybe you need to sit by the window and squirrel/ bunny watch with him! Lol It doesn’t have to be lengthy periods, just enough time for him to fully register, it’s just you and him.
I'm going to make a concerted effort to give some specialized attention to Charlie, and to protect our "alone time" in the morning with coffee. Finn seems content to go back to bed, so it's a win win I think. Thanks for the reminder - my neighbor stopped by for a bit and noticed how standoffish he was (she takes care of him if I travel, so they're normally buds) - she said she thought I said Finn's name more than I said Charlie's name in the course of conversation, so I need to be more mindful.

After my neighbor left, I decided to break down the cage and store it - hurrah!! Soon to be replaced by another cat tree, but still...better than a cage. I'm starting to get my house back. I'll work on getting the guest bedroom cleared out this weekend.

Lastly, I was working at my desk today and turned around and saw this. Each day brings a little more progress, it seems!!
pillow.jpg
 

Buffster7

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Is there any way you could get a camera to see what they do? They, or Finn, depending, may just sleep :)
I have a camera in the main living area where the cat tree and chaise lounge are. Yesterday they never stepped foot in that room the entire time I was gone! Today I saw Charlie in the room but no sign of Finn. So I think they either hung out in the home office, or they avoid each other and go their separate ways. Would it be unusual for them to get into a fight this far into the introduction process where everything has been going so smoothly? Or is there still a risk?
 

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Ouch. Unfortunately, I still have a squabble now and then, so yes. Cats can always disagree. I have a few that are especially spunky. I don’t think you’ll have serious fights though. Their worst fight so far was not anywhere near the worst that I have seen. If the next couple of days go okay then I doubt they will fight, just disagree. See how things go after you start giving Charlie his extra attention.
Very glad the cage has vanished from your world! :lovecat4:
 

pearl99

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No, Finn's sundowning has greatly lessened! He still does it, but probably about 15% of the time he used to do it before. And I do think it's tied to anxiety - he will do it if Charlie and he get in a tussle and Charlie is after him.

Now, about Charlie. He is acting so much more standoffish. You can see how far he is sitting from me on the bed. There was a time when he sat up right against me. Last night it was a victory that he was just on the bed. I don't even know if he slept with us last night - I could not get him to come to bed and eventually gave up and turned the lights out and went to sleep. My solution to the mornings has been to feed Finn in my room and close the door; he goes back to bed (watched him on the monitor). Charlie and I sit in front of the fireplace and wake up slowly with coffee. This morning Charlie isn't even sitting with me. Why so standoffish? Is he protesting the addition of Finn to the bedroom? Will he eventually go back to normal? Or has our interaction forever changed?
I have to commiserate with you, when I brought Mooshoo home and she was just a little 3 pound 12 week old kitten in her room Waffles hardly ate for about 3 days. I had to get really stinky wet food to make sure he got enough! He was standoffish for awhile and would barely come near me even after he saw how little she was. I know Finn's been around awhile and yours is a different situation but Waffles still gets somewhat like that when there's change. But he always comes back! And now I have a new kitty (posted over on Fur Pictures and Videos only) and will have the same thing!
 
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Buffster7

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If the next couple of days go okay then I doubt they will fight, just disagree. See how things go after you start giving Charlie his extra attention.
Very glad the cage has vanished from your world! :lovecat4:
That's so reassuring! They've never drawn blood, the worst they've done is flying fur. They seem to alternate grouchiness, too, and I've noticed that from the beginning. Yesterday Charlie was grouchy with Finn and Finn was trying reeeeally hard to sidle up to him and share space or a bed with him or just play with him.
Today Charlie is sucking up to Finn, and Finn wants none of it. :lol:
But he always comes back! And now I have a new kitty (posted over on Fur Pictures and Videos only) and will have the same thing!
Yes! This is what I was hoping for - that things would return to normal once adjustment period passes! And I have got to go find that thread where you posted pics of your new baby - how exciting! I need to read its story! Good luck in your upcoming introduction phase. I hope Moo and Waffles don't haze it too badly. ;)

Left the boys together this morning for several hours while I was at a school function. Charlie was on his perch the whole time And Finn was nowhere to be found. I've no idea where he goes when I'm gone, I suspect the home office. Very happy that they are now making it through the touchy morning without tussling! I have to leave them again for the rest of today as I have a skill assessment at school - this'll be the most time they'e been alone together. Say a prayer for me, please! These are really stressful. :sweat:
 

pearl99

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Yesterday Charlie was grouchy with Finn and Finn was trying reeeeally hard to sidle up to him and share space or a bed with him or just play with him.
Today Charlie is sucking up to Finn, and Finn wants none of it. :lol:

Yes! This is what I was hoping for - that things would return to normal once adjustment period passes! And I have got to go find that thread where you posted pics of your new baby - how exciting! I need to read its story! Good luck in your upcoming introduction phase. I hope Moo and Waffles don't haze it too badly. ;)
Your good news is good.
That's so funny about alternating grouchies and sidling up. Moo used to sidle up to Waffles the same way trying the same thing. Now if Waffles wants to go up to her nicely she's immediately "what do ya want!!! Tread lightly!!"
I'm considering what you did with the cage for Finn with levels. I think that might be a great idea here.

Prayers for tomorrow :goodluck::grouphug:
 

Buffster7

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That cage saved my skin. Actually, my sanity. And I really think it helped a lot with getting them comfortable with being in the same room. Finn, I think, felt safe in the cage. In the early days when I would let him out for a little bit, there were times when I sensed relief on his part when I returned him to his "safe place". Very pleased with the performance of the cage, decent quality for the price! I'm sure it'll come in handy in the future at some point. Here's the link if you decide to order one. I'm looking forward to more pics of Gracie and the crew as their story unfolds!

 

pearl99

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That cage saved my skin. Actually, my sanity. And I really think it helped a lot with getting them comfortable with being in the same room. Finn, I think, felt safe in the cage. In the early days when I would let him out for a little bit, there were times when I sensed relief on his part when I returned him to his "safe place". Very pleased with the performance of the cage, decent quality for the price! I'm sure it'll come in handy in the future at some point. Here's the link if you decide to order one. I'm looking forward to more pics of Gracie and the crew as their story unfolds!

Thanks for the info. I can see the advantage of having her out in the rooms more and the new and the old cats feeling safe. Things are going pretty well here so far! As far as they've gone.
 

Buffster7

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Hi guys! Quick question. The litter box rule - one for each cat plus an extra - how important is that to follow?
I had 4 originally; one in each cat's room, one in the hearth room, and one in Finn's cage. The cage is gone and the one in my bathroom remains along with the one in the living room. Finn's room has been closed off to them. So far we seem to be doing well with 2 litter boxes. I'm about to clean out Finn's room and prepare for a classmate who will be staying with me this week while we have long days so she doesn't have to commute hours back home each night. I'm trying to find a place for Finn's litter box, and I'm bursting at the seams here. I could potentially squeeze it in the home office, but it would be a squeeze. Is one large litterbox each (two total) sufficient if it seems to be working right now? Or is it pretty important that I have 2 + 1?
 

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Is one large litterbox each (two total) sufficient if it seems to be working right now?
I think yes, theoretically, but keep an eye on them while the new person is there.

The cats might not care that much or they could mind a lot with the reaction/result showing up in their litter box habits.
 

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Is one large litterbox each (two total) sufficient if it seems to be working right now? Or is it pretty important that I have 2 + 1?
I don't think it's a firm rule, as some cats get along fine with just one large litter box. But with 2 cats, I think at least 2 is good. Just keep an eye on things, especially since Charlie was spraying Finn's litter box.

So how are thing going with the boys this weekend?
 

Buffster7

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Okay, thank you ladies! She has stayed with me before, the night I had to put Finn in the dog crate for the night. They didn't mind her presence then, and their litter boxes will remain untouched - they've not had access to the litterbox in Finn's room since I've closed the door to that room. So hopefully this won't cause any issues? And Finn's litterbox is the only one that Charlie would spray - the other two they share with no issue. I know my house looks big in pics, but it's just a wide open plan. Nearly every inch of floor space is utilized. If I can get by with just the two litter boxes, that would help, but am willing to squeeze that third one in if I need to.

As to how they've done this weekend - they'e done really well until today! Even today, they're doing okay but they've been doing this a lot. I don't know if it's playing or if it's testing each other or still trying to establish dominance? I have not gotten involved, but I just get up and leave the room which ends up breaking it up. I can't stand to watch it when one of them yelps. Is this play? Or are they being testy? They've taken turns being the pouncer throughout the day, and they don't stay mad afterward. By the way, Finn looks like he's getting bullied here, but he started this particular tussle.
 
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