I Feel Terrible But I'm Getting Frustrated :(

[Notsure9999]

Hey there,
This might end up being a long post, but I'm not sure if I'm doing something wrong and looking for some advice to giving all the background!

I recently adopted a semi feral (1 year feral, 2 years shelter\previous adoption attempt) cat from a local shelter. I've had him for almost 2 months now. It was a slow start, lots of hiding, not eating\drinking, very very shy guy but we had been making slow but sure progress. In his room in the basement with all his toys, bed, litter, food\water, and some play spots we went from timid and scared to coming out to greet me whenever I went downstairs and always coming out for pets and brushing (unless someone else was there haha). The he started to come upstairs a bit more and get more and more confident. Coming up to me to say hi and allllmost letting me walk around like normal without him running for the hills! He was scared of all the rooms upstairs but recently had been doing sooo much better. He was starting to come to me upstairs more and even came up to me on the couch and kinda snuggled for a bit!! Well...that lasted for a like a day and not he's seemed to regress a bit. I'm not sure what's going on and I'm getting a little frustrated :\.

In his room he still like to play and get pet but he's a bit more shy again, sometimes he's look at me and sulk away to hide. He still eats\drink\litters perfectly fine. Upstairs he's almost back to the beginning, he will come up and explore and might look at me from a distance but if I move around even a bit he freezes and will bolt back to the next "out of line of sight" area. He has started hiding under my bed at times as well, which is new. He has also started to meow a lot, whenever I come downstairs he'll meow...it started as just one or two when I come in to room but now he will consistently meow for a little bit (he has food, fresh water, and a clean box). Whenever he comes upstairs for the first little bit he'll meow. I didn't hear a peep out of him the first month and half and now he's meowing downstairs, coming upstairs, or when he's "hiding" from me upstairs when I walk around. I thought it was attention at first but I would literally play with him for 30 minutes, walk upstairs, and 1 minute later he would be up here meowing!

He has also been itchy his ears and shaking his head a bit more the past week, I tried to check his ears for anything but he's fluffy and doesn't like it so I couldn't get a good look and all it did was make him mad at me for awhile.

I'm not sure what to do, this is my first cat that I have owned and I've never experienced shy ones before. Am I just overreacted and this is pretty normal? Is the meowing and itchy something maybe he's trying to tell me he isn't feeling well or something? I'm nervous about taking him to the vet if that's just going to make him more upset. I wasn't planning on getting a shy cat but we did really connect but I'm just getting frustrated after we were getting so far and now he's...just not making sense. I've read that sometimes shy cats can take a year to get used to a new home and person after adoption but we were doing so well...is this just part of the process?

 

[Hellenww]

The head shaking makes me say get him to the vet. If he has an ear infection and not feeling well that might make him regress.

Our Sqeeker is a timid/shy cat and he announces most of his actions. We just speak or even meow back to let him know we're here and it's ok. Meowing sounds like a good sign since he no longer feels the need to be invisible.

You can also spread is scent upstairs to make more attractive to him. Get some baby blankets. Put one in his bed after a week give him a fresh blanket and put his used one on the couch. Receiving blanket usually come in a 3 pack and fairly inexpensive.

You're doing everything right. 2 months isn't very long and he's really made great progress.

 

[ArtNJ]

Hellenww might be on to something, and a vet visit is a good idea. Of course, the head shaking could be nothing as well - one of my current cats gets allergies every summer and one of the symptoms is that he scratches at his ear while making a weird meow. Freaked us out the first year for sure.

 

[danteshuman]

I was going to mention allergies if mites or discharge are not showing. Either way the vet can help you know what is bothering him. About his shyness, just let him progress at his own pace. He will gain more confidence in time. For shy or semi-feral cats I recommend a WELL socialized cat/kitten that they can learn from. "Bridge" kitties make a world of difference. Is he really that shy though? He is meowing/communicating with you & letting you pet him, right? Our semi-feral learned how to be a semi-house cat by watching my cats interact with me. I keep joking about how I adopted a third cat He learned to sit for treats, what dinner means, to be picked up and carried, to have nightly cuddle time, to come when called & to get petted more. He even plays a bit. There is hope, it just takes time & paying close attention to their body language.

 

[danteshuman]

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[Notsure9999]

The head shaking makes me say get him to the vet. If he has an ear infection and not feeling well that might make him regress.

Our Sqeeker is a timid/shy cat and he announces most of his actions. We just speak or even meow back to let him know we're here and it's ok. Meowing sounds like a good sign since he no longer feels the need to be invisible.

You can also spread is scent upstairs to make more attractive to him. Get some baby blankets. Put one in his bed after a week give him a fresh blanket and put his used one on the couch. Receiving blanket usually come in a 3 pack and fairly inexpensive.

You're doing everything right. 2 months isn't very long and he's really made great progress.

I'm probably going to get him to the vet Thursday or Friday. Head shaking and ear scratching today and he's starting to heavily lick and bite a bit at a few spots near his back legs. Went downstairs this morning and he had a wet spot on his fur, yesterday it was there as well but he had rolled into his water dish so didn't think anything of it until I saw it again today and noticed him licking around that spot. I tried to check for fleas or something but didn't see anything (although he is grey and long haired so not sure if I would have much luck anyway haha). So yeah...sound like a vet trip is needed. That should be fun :\

Ohhhhh I didn't think of that about the meowing!! That's a good point, if he's comfortable enough to meow that's probably a good sign!!!

Hmm, I have a blanket for it him but he doesn't really use it much, his current spot he liked is behind a mattress leaning up against a wall or under my bed...both spots I've put blankets for him but he doesn't seem to sit on them...he's nearing them and he walks on them though so I'll still get a few more and give that a shot!

Okay, thanks for the input and peace of mind, I really appreciate it!!

 

[Notsure9999]

Hellenww might be on to something, and a vet visit is a good idea. Of course, the head shaking could be nothing as well - one of my current cats gets allergies every summer and one of the symptoms is that he scratches at his ear while making a weird meow. Freaked us out the first year for sure.

He's starting licking some more spots and biting at them as well, enough to make his fur visablely wet...I'll give the vet a call and make a trip and see what they say. Hopefully it's just something like that, allergies that will go away or something! Thanks for the input!

 

[Notsure9999]

I was going to mention allergies if mites or discharge are not showing. Either way the vet can help you know what is bothering him. About his shyness, just let him progress at his own pace. He will gain more confidence in time. For shy or semi-feral cats I recommend a WELL socialized cat/kitten that they can learn from. "Bridge" kitties make a world of difference. Is he really that shy though? He is meowing/communicating with you & letting you pet him, right? Our semi-feral learned how to be a semi-house cat by watching my cats interact with me. I keep joking about how I adopted a third cat He learned to sit for treats, what dinner means, to be picked up and carried, to have nightly cuddle time, to come when called & to get petted more. He even plays a bit. There is hope, it just takes time & paying close attention to their body language.

Well I can't really get a good look, I don't think I see any discharge or mites but he had furry ears and doesn't like me looking into them soooo not totally sure haha. Hmmmm, I guess that's a fair point, maybe it's just nervous and not sure about upstairs yet as opposed to being shy. He does meow nd communicate and loooves to be pet...when we are downstairs. He will roll over, show me his belly, headbutt me, and all that stuff down there.
I have thought about another cat and would make sure that one is a social one haha, but not sure how he would take to that so I'm going to give it a bit more time.
Thanks for the input, it's very much appreciated

 

[mekkababble]

The head shaking and scratching definitely sounds like an ear infection. They're very common in kittens. My opinion is to treat them sooner than later before things get worse (and more expensive- ha) Fear or not, I'd run him to the vet for a checkup. Put him in a carrier with something that smells like him and/or you to help keep him comfortable.

Warn the vet he's a difficult cat (which I'm sure they're used to). If it's an infection or mites, he'll likely need drops which your boy will hate . Personal experience has told me that cats associate an unpleasant medication with a place instead of a person so he may shy away if you need to treat an infection for a week or so but in the end your cat will forgive you and love you just as much!