I Feel Like A Total Failure

Katie M

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Based on Charlie's behavior, my mother has been saying he'd make a great barn cat for someone. I've kept insisting I can get a handle on him. Last week, he gave me a long scratch down my hand. Today, he attacked my arm, and then my back. Afterwards, he went to his food bowl and started shoveling all the food onto the floor.

I can't do this anymore.
 
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Katie M

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Was he feral when you brought him in? How old is he?
He's a year old, and I think he was born feral. He was roughly two months when I got him, so he was probably separated from the litter too soon. On top of that, he seems to have a few mental issues.

My mother says I should get a cat that will actually behave like a cat, and has apologized over and over for bringing Charlie to my attention in the first place.
 

StefanZ

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was there any reason, real or not, for these scratchings??
 

orange&white

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At one year old, he is still essentially a "teenager" adolescent cat. He should be calming down quite a bit over the next few months.
 
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Katie M

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was there any reason, real or not, for these scratchings??
The scratch on the hand was actually normal for him. He never learned bite inhibition and so this is how he plays.

Today's scratches are a different story. I have a bad back, so I occasionally lie on the floor to relieve the pressure. He always plays with my hair when I do it. This time, he went for my arm and wouldn't let go. When I finally got him off, he went for my back. It's like he completely lost control of himself.
 
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Katie M

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Charlie needs a bigger place than this, and I can't give it to him. He constantly disobeys. A lot of the time, petting him just riles him up and I get hurt.

He's supposed to be my emotional support animal, but he stresses me out more than anything.
 

orange&white

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Some cats just don't like to be handled much, especially ones born feral and taken away from mom and litter mates too soon. :( Rather than giving up Charlie, perhaps your mom could get you a friendly cat who loves to be petted, and just let Charlie sit around in peace? Charlie is still young enough that another feline might be able to teach him some better social skills.
 
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Katie M

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Some cats just don't like to be handled much, especially ones born feral and taken away from mom and litter mates too soon. :( Rather than giving up Charlie, perhaps your mom could get you a friendly cat who loves to be petted, and just let Charlie sit around in peace? Charlie is still young enough that another feline might be able to teach him some better social skills.
Unfortunately, my lease says only one animal per apartment ☹

I *will* be getting another cat, because I love them and can't stand to live completely alone, but I can't until Charlie is gone
 
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Katie M

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One of my childhood cats had to be put down because he was violently mentally ill. Charlie is not nearly as far gone as he was, but he needs a better living situation than this.
 

orange&white

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One of my childhood cats had to be put down because he was violently mentally ill.
You need to find a better source of cats! :lol2: Sorry. That was a joke, and in your current circumstance, probably not funny. :oops:

Sometimes rental pet rules can be excepted if you have paperwork saying that you need emotional support animal(s).

If you completely leave Charlie alone, does he attack you without provocation (aside from when you are lying on the floor...and could put him in another room)? I hate to see a cat go to a shelter if just letting him hang out untouched would solve the problem.
 
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Katie M

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You need to find a better source of cats! :lol2: Sorry. That was a joke, and in your current circumstance, probably not funny. :oops:

Sometimes rental pet rules can be excepted if you have paperwork saying that you need emotional support animal(s).

If you completely leave Charlie alone, does he attack you without provocation (aside from when you are lying on the floor...and could put him in another room)? I hate to see a cat go to a shelter if just letting him hang out untouched would solve the problem.
*Only* service, therapy, and emotional support animals are allowed here, only one per apartment. There's no getting around it.

If I leave him alone, he only starts causing trouble for attention. Besides, what kind of emotional support animal would that be? Might as well not have a cat at all.

I've found a no-kill shelter, but it's not open until Wednesday. I'll love him til the end of my life, but he deserves to find a better life than this.
 

orange&white

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Well, sounds like you've chosen that option. Perhaps the shelter can get him an experienced foster home to evaluate his behavior and get him on a prescription to modify the negative traits, if they decide it's necessary. For a lot of cats, a short course of medication can get the cat back on the right track.
 
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Katie M

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Well, sounds like you've chosen that option. Perhaps the shelter can get him an experienced foster home to evaluate his behavior and get him on a prescription to modify the negative traits, if they decide it's necessary. For a lot of cats, a short course of medication can get the cat back on the right track.
I've been crying for a good two hours. Believe me, I didn't want it to end like this.
 

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I feel bad for you both. After you surrender Charlie, I would take a break for cats for a while and when/if you are ready to adopt again go with an adult cat. They are usually much more well mannered and calm and you can get a cat with a personality that fits best with you.
 

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i almost started crying reading this. may i tell you a story of my first cat as a teenager? my mom wanted always a cat. perhaps for the same reason as you, emotional support. a good family friend told us one day that a feral cat has brought 3 kitties in this world while hiding in his garden shack. my mom said she will take one as soon as the kitty is ready. to our shock the mother and kitties got attacked by a fox (or similar) the mother escaped and never returned and 2 of the kitties got killed. only one survived. it was too early also to be separated from the mother and litter mates but we had no choice but taking her in. she was so scared and hid under the sofa for month. peeing pooping everywhere. no chance of getting any close to her. it took so long until she felt safe enough to actually come out and had a look around. but as soon as she saw us, she went into fight cat mode. hissing at as and everything thats not familiar. if i remember correctly it took almost a year until we could gently stroke her on her terms. a sec to long or a tad to strong and we would get scratched. it slowly went all better until we had to bring her to the vet for spaying! what an ordeal that was. both for us humans and her. she wouldnt trust us after wards neither for another 6 month or more. but then after years its a very different picture. she was the perfect cat. going to mom when she felt down and sad. comforting her in times of need. she almost behaved like a dog at some point. every new human or animal in the house must go through a process of hers! :)) all im saying is that we never know what trauma a feral cat had endured and what issues he had. the beginning might be hard but it might get better with time. you have done nothing wrong.
 
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Katie M

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You know what really gets me? For the first month, Charlie was actually a cuddler, but then apparently decided it wasn't for him after all.
 

Chris_Takas

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i dont know if cats get PTSD, maybe something changed in the environment? was he neutered? males will calm down after that. maybe he goes through some sort of puberty. maybe extreme puberty? not sure if cats go through this as well. but it could be a reason for his sudden change. maybe a hormonal imbalance?
 
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