I don’t know what to do for my scaredy cats

[catlover1717]

I adopted two rescued barn kittens who were fostered for 3 months before I entered the picture. The foster parents….weren’t entirely honest about how timid the kitties were. I knew this would take time, however… My cats are still timid after ~1.5 years of living here (a pretty uneventful, child-free house). At no point have they been disciplined since they came very well-behaved. At most I’ve laughed and quietly said “no no buddy” while gently lifting one off the kitchen table he’s determined to explore when the sun goes down.

They despise strangers. They also hold serious - what I jokingly refer to as - grudges. For example, an uneventful vet visit causes them to hide for 4 to 5 days and then they remain very skittish for a solid month. Like, they’ll run if you enter the room. Not great. They do still love their family and I love them, but as someone who grew up with cuddlers I feel a little sad. For them and me! I’ve never owned scaredy cats before and I feel like they need more help to be at their most comfortable. Unfortunately, I’m striking out:

Bach Rescue Remedy - Failed
Feliway Spray - Failed
Feliway Plug-ins - Failed
LICKS Zen Calming Treat - Failed
Zylkene - Failed

I’m looking at CBD/hemp oil next. Is that the only non-prescription option left?

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi
Well, there are other calming products on the market, but maybe it's something else.

At no point have they been disciplined since they came very well-behaved.

I'm assuming you don't know what discipline measures were utilized prior to you, but I'm trying to figure out how two young cats became very well behaved. That part of their lives is over and done but it's possible that there's emotional baggage hanging on, especially since they're both this way.

After a year and a half, I'm not sure they will change much. Consistency and love is key, as you know

Try Cat Music and maybe there's something here;

10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat – TheCatSite Articles

 

[Nebaug]

I always promote food. They need to connect good things with you. You need to ‘make’ them want to be with you, and you can’t force them. Free feeding is your enemy and they will most probably always be on the skittish side but… they can do better, probably . One of mine is like a dog, doorbell rings and he runs to the door?!?!? Other two, not so much but they quickly come around and are eager to investigate. They also feed of each other energy.

 

[tabbytom]

I adopted two rescued barn kittens who were fostered for 3 months before I entered the picture. The foster parents….weren’t entirely honest about how timid the kitties were. I knew this would take time, however… My cats are still timid after ~1.5 years of living here (a pretty uneventful, child-free house). At no point have they been disciplined since they came very well-behaved. At most I’ve laughed and quietly said “no no buddy” while gently lifting one off the kitchen table he’s determined to explore when the sun goes down.

They despise strangers. They also hold serious - what I jokingly refer to as - grudges. For example, an uneventful vet visit causes them to hide for 4 to 5 days and then they remain very skittish for a solid month. Like, they’ll run if you enter the room. Not great. They do still love their family and I love them, but as someone who grew up with cuddlers I feel a little sad. For them and me! I’ve never owned scaredy cats before and I feel like they need more help to be at their most comfortable. Unfortunately, I’m striking out:

Bach Rescue Remedy - Failed
Feliway Spray - Failed
Feliway Plug-ins - Failed
LICKS Zen Calming Treat - Failed
Zylkene - Failed

I’m looking at CBD/hemp oil next. Is that the only non-prescription option left?

Hi, cats and their behaviors comes in different forms. Some cats warm up instantly and some takes a longer time. Cats go through different stage in their life as in what they have been through before.

A cat that comes direct from it's momma after wining has no problems socializing and a cat that is rescued of the streets may have a different character and as you don't have history of these two barn kittens and getting them from the foster home, we do not know what they have been through before like any mishap happened to them or how many homes have they gone through.

Many things may make the cats hide and be shy or afraid and hiding is the only way to protect themselves.

From what I read from your post, these kittens may have an uneventful encounter with people and therefore they are behaving in such a way. Every hooman they see, they get weary as it jolts their memory of what had happened before.

Now, you are the only contact with them and you have to work pretty hard to gain their trust in you and in you only or if you have other family members, the kittens have to trust them too, but I think you should be the one they should put their trust in first.

Since they are living there for 1.5 years already, they should be pretty familiar with the surroundings. Before you try anything else to calm them, hold the CBD/Hemp oil.
Each time you enter the room where they are, announce your arrival by calling them out in a sweet soft voice instead of just walking strength in without warning which will startle them and send them into hiding. As you enter or just before you enter, go on your knees and crawl in slowly as this makes yourself small and not intimidating to them. Visit them many times a day so that they get use to you and your visits that means no threat.

Furballsmom attached a very good article to read and I also agree with Nebaug , have some food on hand and have them associate you with food and not free feeding as like food just appears from nowhere.

These two kitties need some time to work over with and love, patience and routines rules the day. Don'y give up and don't betray their trust as you are the only person they depends on right now.
As I mentioned earlier, cats behavior comes in different forms. Do your best to get them to trust you and hope for the best and do respect what they are as it's not easy to change them. Love them as much as you can as they can feel your love for them. The more they are instigated, the harder it is for them to trust you.

Do keep us updated of the progress.

 

[catlover1717]

I'm assuming you don't know what discipline measures were utilized prior to you, but I'm trying to figure out how two young cats became very well behaved. That part of their lives is over and done but it's possible that there's emotional baggage hanging on, especially since they're both this way.

I mean, sure, they tear around the house at 2AM wrestling each other. Knocked down a few decorations during their sprees. The boy also tests boundaries with kitchen table and countertop surfaces. LOL. But I don’t discipline them for that. Just standard young kitty behavior. The foster parents taught them how to use litter boxes and they barely ever scratched furniture. The little they did they grew out of. When they did scratch the couch I just picked them up and quickly (as they don’t love being held) deposited them in front of a scratching post instead, which they then went to town on.

Unsure how much contact the original farmer had with them before they were fostered at 3 months old. Probably not a lot - sounds like there were way too many cats at the farm.

 

[catlover1717]

These two kitties need some time to work over with and love, patience and routines rules the day. Don'y give up and don't betray their trust as you are the only person they depends on right now.

Problem is we have to betray their trust occasionally. For example, by taking them to the vet.