I Am A Mess

[gareth]

im home from having my cat put down, i had her for 20 years and three months. im so full of guilt i should have spent money for testing. now im home with no cat to snuggle and feeling like i failed her. im so sad right now. this entire house reminds me of her, she was so good to me. im supposed to know what to do and be a tough guy but i just want to cry.

I met lots of people who were tough in the military, and lots who wanted to be tough. The truly tough ones were perfectly comfortable showing their emotions when they needed to or chose to. So if you feel like crying, then crack on. I quite literally screamed at the sky when I lost my Eva a few years back, and suspect more of the same is in my future.

Your cat was 20 years old and still obviously loved. In no way did you fail her. It was, tragically, just her time. She had so many years of happiness with you, and in time that's what you will remember. The end is awful but just remember it's awful for YOU. Her pain is over. She's at peace. You are the one in pain. So allow yourself to grieve. To cry, shout, whatever you need. Give yourself time and space to heal.

 

[Lotusflwr79]

I’m so sorry for the loss of your cat. I just sent my Lily to the Rainbow Bridge this last Saturday. I also have tremendous guilt bc I didn’t get new bloodwork done and in my heart I think she had kidney issues, causing dehydration and constipation. I wish I got that last enema and gave her IV fluids to help pass the stool. She was in so much pain the last 2 days of her life. I feel your pain. She was 16 and battling constipation and megacolon for the last 2.5 years. I didn’t do surgery, I didn’t do meds. Now I wish I had. She was doing well until this past month. She lost weight rapidly. She was under 4lbs on Saturday.
I feel like I lost a child. I know what you’re going through. I feel like I didn’t do enough. I miss my Lily like crazy and I apologize to her every hour it seems like. I didn’t know what else to do. She wasn’t living anymore. She was always constipated and on a liquid diet for 2 years. But I loved her so much and she loved me. I feel like I betrayed her by even thinking that letting her go was better than her living and I was so sad seeing her in pain I couldn’t handle it anymore. It’s so hard to say goodbye. I’m hoping time will heal us both. It has to.

 

[Furballsmom]

I quite literally screamed at the sky when I lost my Eva a few years back, and suspect more of the same is in my future.

I did too when our Maine Coon sweetheart left.

but just remember it's awful for YOU. Her pain is over. She's at peace. You are the one in pain. So allow yourself to grieve. To cry, shout, whatever you need. Give yourself time and space to heal.

Lotusflwr79 try and hang on to this.

 

[les26]

I’m so sorry for the loss of your cat. I just sent my Lily to the Rainbow Bridge this last Saturday. I also have tremendous guilt bc I didn’t get new bloodwork done and in my heart I think she had kidney issues, causing dehydration and constipation. I wish I got that last enema and gave her IV fluids to help pass the stool. She was in so much pain the last 2 days of her life. I feel your pain. She was 16 and battling constipation and megacolon for the last 2.5 years. I didn’t do surgery, I didn’t do meds. Now I wish I had. She was doing well until this past month. She lost weight rapidly. She was under 4lbs on Saturday.
I feel like I lost a child. I know what you’re going through. I feel like I didn’t do enough. I miss my Lily like crazy and I apologize to her every hour it seems like. I didn’t know what else to do. She wasn’t living anymore. She was always constipated and on a liquid diet for 2 years. But I loved her so much and she loved me. I feel like I betrayed her by even thinking that letting her go was better than her living and I was so sad seeing her in pain I couldn’t handle it anymore. It’s so hard to say goodbye. I’m hoping time will heal us both. It has to.

Please don't be so hard on yourself, it is normal but it is the grief talking which can be immense I know. I felt the same way about Sebastian who was constipated and the bloodwork showed some kidney disease but nothing too alarming and a short while later I was freeing him from the mini blinds as he was trying to climb out to escape his pain when I found him that night I came home and I too was staring at the sky yelling "please God, not like this, don't let it end like this...." but it did, and I am glad that I got to hold him at the end as hard as that was, he could have been dead when I came home but he literally hung on until I could hold him so he passed in my arms rather than alone. And now we have Sylvester, the little guy in the picture to the left, who looks like Sebastian and Simon combined, a living tribute to them but a great cat in his own right, he helped me and I him, and maybe your next kitty to help you get over this is right around the corner....

I was told about Holy Basil, an herb that helps adapt to stress and I took it off and on when this was going on and it really helped, something to consider; I still take it on and off and it does help get you through the stress and I have no side effects from it. Just a thought....

It does get better with time, but can take about 1.5 years to really feel you are "over" it, hang in there

 

[Furballsmom]

I've never succeeded in getting my emotions to listen to my brain.

Me neither, not for lack of trying.

To everyone in this thread, to all of us and all of the cats that have been mentioned; this is a whole lot of love talking.

 

[Margret]

Lotusflwr79 , I'm so sorry to hear this. Hang in there. Do your grief work and it will get better, I promise. And remember that we're here for you any time you need a shoulder to cry on.


Margret