How Do You Know When Its Time To Say Good-bye

[Cheyennesmom19]

Cheyenne, regardless of what I try will not eat. She just walks away. I am waiting on a call from the vet to see if there is anything I can do about her stuff nose. And I am hoping that there is something that I can give her. Even if I have to jump into the truck to make a trip to Tulsa to go pick up I will.

But it's so frustrating to see her not want to eat... I don't even want to weigh her because I know she's lost a couple of pounds...

How do you know when its time? I am sad, heart broken, frustrated and angry (the last 2 feelings is not at her but the lymphoma it takes so much from them) She is still wanting attention, she comes and lays on my chest at night and in the morning. She still stays out in the open (in less she sees the syringe then she runs and hides). So, I know its not time right now but if she doesn't start eating it will soon be time...right?

I did give her some of the Celloquent last night twice and once this morning. Suppose to just give a pinch to start out with so I am using the tip of a knife to scoop it up with and put in the tip of the food filled syringe...

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Oh, Darlin, I am so sorry. This is one of the toughest calls we every have to make, and no matter what we decide, we are going to second-guess that decision for a long, long time. My heart with yours.

If the stuffed nose is from a growth of some sort, I doubt you can do much about it. But if it is mucus, you might try sitting with her in the bathroom, door closed, with the hot water running in the shower. The steam will give her at least temporary relief, and she may be able to smell her food, if just for a little while.

As for the Final Decision, there are several charts out there that help you to determine a cat's quality of life. This is just one of them: The Feline Quality of Life Scale Helps You Determine If It's Time to Say Goodbye to Your Cat | Catster. The good thing about relying on something like this is that it takes the desperate longing out of the equation. But this is the #1 rule...Better to say the Final Goodbye one day too soon than one day too late. "NEVER on their WORST day." Let them leave with good memories.

 

[Jem]

I'm sorry about your kitty and you both having to go thru this.
I have a few questions for you.
Is it the Lymphoma causing her loss of appetite or does she have a URI? You mention a stuffed nose but also Lymphoma, is it advanced?

In the mean time, there are things you can do to help her stuffed nose in the off chance that her loss of appetite is simply because she can't smell.
Bring her into the bathroom, and steam it up with the door closed by running the hot water in the shower (stay in there with her so she's safe). A good 15 minutes or so a few times a day can help unblock a nose. Yo can try feeding her right after the steaming to see if the temporary relief of it clears her up enough that she can smell again.
I have used baby saline drops for my kitty to help clear up nasal congestion, and it worked well. I put two drops up each nose and it help to loosen up the mucus, she would even let out a big sneeze (with lots of "stuff") soon after so I know it really helped to get it out. I did it 2-3 times a day. Be sure you get PURE saline with no preservatives or medications in it. I used this and it was really convenient as it came in individual droppers.

Now when it comes to your initial question. That's a really personal decision. I don't really know how to answer that because it depends on you cats quality of life. Is she still comfortable, enjoying your company, eating, drinking, using the litter on her own, still grooming, is she in pain...there are so many variables. If her not eating is her only significant sign of decline but it's caused by congestion (and it can be treated), I would focus on that. Making the decision is never an easy one, one that I've have to make on several occasions and it never gets easier. But there is something that I have heard some say before, that it's better to do it a day too soon than a day too late. Take the time to look at her overall quality of life. And as cliche as it seems, and I hated when people told me this, until I realized they were right, you'll know when it's time. It doesn't stop the what if's or the guilt that is part of the grief you will experience, but to know you did all you could, and in the end, gave her the best gift you could by ending her suffering, is truly the most compassionate and selfless thing any cat parent can do.

Again I'm so sorry for what you're going thru.

 

[denice]

It really depends on what is causing the stuffed up nose and if that is why she isn't eating. Along with the suggestions for helping the stuffiness you can try increasing the smell of the food. A cat won't eat what they can't smell. Do you have some food with a stronger smell? You can try warming that food up a bit because it will increase the smell.

It is often hard to know when it is time. The last cat that I had euthanized was the first time that I knew for sure. It was the first time that I was fully at peace with the decision before I had it done.