How Do I Bond With My New Cat

[Eatingiceman]

Hi all, I adopted my first cat about 3 months ago. When she first came home after surgery we isolated her to our bedroom for about a week and during her first few days she was sleeping on my chest and cuddly as could be.
We eventually let her explore the house but at night she would still sleep in bed with us. Fast forward to now and she wont even let me close enough to pet her and NEVER sleeps in our room let alone our bed. We haven't changed anything she is fed every 8 hours like clock work I have feliway oil, cat trees, two litter boxes and more toys then she could ever use. Why is she less and less friendly? Could we be doing something to make her less comfortable around us? I had to give her dewormer that might have made her not trust me but otherwise I don't see why her behavior changed.

Tldr: my cat was cuddly now is not are there things I can do to improve our bond?

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. I gather she was/is still pretty young? If so, it could be part of her growing up/maturing. Some cats can become a bit more aloof as they turn from kittens into adults. Sort of like gaining a semblance of 'independence'.

It could also be some subtle change in your household - one that you take for granted as nothing - that your cat sees as a big deal. Many things affect cats that we humans don't consider to be of much importance. If you can't pinpoint anything like that that might have happened - take a look at this article and see if there are any helpful tips you might want to try.

14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me

Also, consider this excerpt from the TCS Article "Why Do Cats...The Ultimate Guide to Feline Behavior."

25. Why Do Cats Ignore Humans?

If you’ve ever repeatedly called your cat only to have them not come, or spoken to them and gotten no reaction, you may be surprised to learn the truth. Cats don’t ignore humans. They do react, but their reactions are so subtle most people aren’t aware of them.

A study done in Japan found that cats react to the sounds of human voices even if they don’t move. If you looked closely enough, you might notice that your cat’s pupils dilate and he turns his ears or head towards you when you talk.

It was also discovered that cats have a much stronger emotional reaction to hearing their owner’s voice compared to the voice of a stranger. This further proves that cats are emotionally attached to their owners even if they don’t appear to be.

The main reason your cat appears to be ignoring you goes back to their wild instincts. A cat showing signs of weakness in the wild is an easy target for predators. So, cats don’t display many emotions, in general, to avoid becoming prey.

 

[rubysmama]

Eatingiceman : how old is your cat? Perhaps she's just going through an independent stage.

Is she indoor only? Does she like to play with you?

Has it gotten warmer where you live? My Ruby sleeps on the bed in the winter time, but not so much once it gets warmer.

 

[Eatingiceman]

Eatingiceman : how old is your cat? Perhaps she's just going through an independent stage.

Is she indoor only? Does she like to play with you?

Has it gotten warmer where you live? My Ruby sleeps on the bed in the winter time, but not so much once it gets warmer.

Shes around 6 years old and is still 6. Its almost summer so it is getting warmer. I just find it strange that a cat that appeared so friendly slowly became less loving.

 

[rubysmama]

Keep spending time with her. And playing with her.

Do keep an eye on her to ensure she's eating, drinking, using the litter box, etc. normally, as sometimes cats become distant when they aren't feeling well.

 

[IronHippo]

I think she has settled into her new territory! You reminded me that when my husband first brought Marple home at around 2 years old 3 years ago, she actually was a lot cuddlier than she is now. Her bio said that she likes to sleep with her people and there were a couple times where I woke up with her lying right next to me or snuggled up to my calf. Those days are gone now, though, haha. She stopped sleeping with us within a month and it's actually pretty clear from how she treats beds and couches that she doesn't actually really like them or soft things in general at all. I think she probably slept with us in the beginning because she was uncertain about her new place. It's just the way she is! My husband and I can toss and turn sometimes too, so I'm not too surprised she prefers not to sleep with us.

How much positive active time do you spend with her every day (e.g. Playing with her, doing tricks)?