hi i just got a cat

[dude]

Originally Posted by stephanietx

To help with the sleep issue, play with Meeka really hard just before bedtime, then feed her a really good sized portion of wet (canned) kitten food. Get her settled in your room (with a litter box, some toys that don't make noise, and a bowl of dry food), turn out the lights and go to bed. She'll soon learn the routine and you'll be able to sleep better. Kitties crave routine and she'll soon learn yours.

You're doing a great job with her! They are very quick and I swear they sometimes just "materialize" out of thin air when you least expect it! Thankfully, my guy likes to rub my legs and coo and squeak, so I can hear him and feel him, but he still just shows up from out of nowhere.

They're just crazy kids, go,go,go, then plop and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

thanks. how do i know when its right before her bed time? she kinda just sleeps whenever she wants. like right now i think shes taking one of those mini naps. cuz, like i said in my previous post, she came up to me to play but i didnt really want to so i didnt give her attention, so she just picked a spot and started sleeping. and if i try to hold her or put her on my lap she wakes up and will try to bite cuz she still wants me to play. and if i dont she will probably just roam around for a bit then go take a nap again. lol she just woke up, it took me like 10 minutes to write this cuz she kept stepping all over the key board. she bit me but then i guess she realized i didnt want to play, now shes just sitting behind me chilling. oh and another question, is there any way for me to um.. say, give her play time in exchange for her giving me lap time lol?. i dont know if thats a stupid question or not lol dont bother answering if it is.

 

[elayman]

Originally Posted by dude

kk thanks. fortunately ive kinda Meeka-proofed my house putting all the breakable stuff safe so shes not doing a lot of breaking. i got another question. when she wants to play she comes to me and just sits near me or stares at me for a while, and if i pick her up or something she bites, which ive learned that means she wants to play as u guys said. i play with her A LOT but its not like i can play with her whenever she wants (which is like all the time lol), so sometimes i just dont give her attention, and when i do that she just sleeps, or picks a spot and just kinda chills there cuz shes bored i guess. will this cause her to hate me ever? cuz the reason she comes to me in the first place is cuz i play with her so much so i guess she kinda expects it.

If you don't want her to bite, you need to get the message across that the behavior is not acceptable - every time she gets rough. Use a stern voice with a loud 'NO' and a clap of your hands if possible. Be consistent and don't give Meeka mixed messages. Praise her when she is gentle and scold her when she bites and scratches you. Withdraw play if things get really rowdy.

For her it's all about trying to have fun - for you it's aggression if someone is getting hurt. The owner has to teach her that play does not have to be predatory. Mama and sibling kitties use swats or growls to signal when things get too heated. Kittens learn unconsciously from this to calm down and that being over-aggressive may stop the action.

If you want to horse-play with gardening gloves and minimal loss of blood that's another issue...

 

[darlili]

The only dumb question is simply not asking a question - everyone has been new at something more than once in their lives!

When I adopted my adult cats (and adults are actually easier in many ways than kittens) I ran out and bought Cats for Dummies (there's a kitten version too). It was so useful, and still is.

And sites like these are great - just ask away! Heck, I called my vet the first time Dharma kept plopping to her side showing me her tummy - I thought she was sick! Vet did not laugh at me. And, you would be amazed at how many people call their vets convinced something is deathly wrong with their unspayed female kittens - when it's their first heat instead.

BTW, have you set up a relationship with a vet - checked them out, see if you like their practice - and figured out what Meeka needs as she grows? I know it all a lot now - but you'll figure it all out and it will be worth it.

 

[mystik spiral]

I have one cat and she's the first cat I ever had. We always had dogs growing up. I can't even tell you how much I have learned from this forum. I made mistakes when Holland was a kitten, because I was trying to treat her like a dog. But the wonderful people here have taught me a ton about cats and how to live with them and love them. This place is a GREAT resource and I'm glad you found it! It sounds like you and Meeka are doing great, I am looking forward to seeing pictures of her!

 

[stephanietx]

Originally Posted by dude

thanks. how do i know when its right before her bed time? she kinda just sleeps whenever she wants. like right now i think shes taking one of those mini naps. cuz, like i said in my previous post, she came up to me to play but i didnt really want to so i didnt give her attention, so she just picked a spot and started sleeping. and if i try to hold her or put her on my lap she wakes up and will try to bite cuz she still wants me to play. and if i dont she will probably just roam around for a bit then go take a nap again. lol she just woke up, it took me like 10 minutes to write this cuz she kept stepping all over the key board. she bit me but then i guess she realized i didnt want to play, now shes just sitting behind me chilling. oh and another question, is there any way for me to um.. say, give her play time in exchange for her giving me lap time lol?. i dont know if thats a stupid question or not lol dont bother answering if it is.

Sorry I didn't make bedtime clear. That's YOUR bedtime. For sleep deprivation, you have to learn to nap when she's napping.

Something to help with the biting is to always have some type of chew toy for her to chew on. Biting is normal and usually the momma cat will train the kitten not to do that by hissing at her. You might try developing your hiss and gently push your hand (or whatever) toward her and sternly saying "NO!". If you haven't already, you might want to invest in a scratching post and some kind of cat tree or perch for her to climb on.

 

[dude]

thanks. yeah ive been sleeping when she sleeps. sometimes she sleeps with me too. today she fell asleep in the living room, and i took that chance to sleep. i also tried to make her sleep on me or beside me. i picked her up and put her on me, she stayed for a couple of seconds and then she just went back to the carpet to sleep. i did this again, and she just went back again. i did it the third time and for some reason she stayed this time. it was the coolest thing, i just kinda tucked her under my arm between my waist and she just fell asleep there and stayed there for pretty long. i hope she gets used to doing that in the living room cuz she does that sometimes in my room when its just us 2 in there and shes locked in, she slept with me again today in my room, but that was after a LOT of aggressive play. i hope that means im making progress. i want her to be as comfortable with me as she can.

 

[darlili]

She'll probably get there, but don't forget she's just a baby and always wants to be up and at them. And, if it's warm where you are, she may be more comfortable sleeping slightly away from you - that fur coat, you know. I can always tell when the weather is warming - my cuddle bug boy decides he doesn't want to sleep curled up against the back of momma's knees. In the winter - can't get close enough to me at night.

That said, my girl will sleep on my bed, follow me around, and almost always stays in whatever room I'm in - but, she hates being carried, and has not once sat on my lap. Some cats are just like that. But you end up loving them away.

You're definitely getting there, I think - don't forget, cats aren't like dogs in wanting to please their 'masters' - they want to please themselves first. So, when kitty comes to you to play or or sleep, that's a very big compliment! It means that is simply the very best place to be right then.

but, there are times they want to look out the window, or sleep in the sun - you'll learn all her favorites spots, and right about then, she'll find new ones.

 

[dude]

thanks. i got another question. everyone saying that the kitten will grow out of the whole biting and scratching fase. i know its different for every cat, but about how long would u guys say the average kitten stop this kinda behaviour and actually warms up to u, sits beside u or lets us pet her. cuz ive been trying to distract it with toys and stuff but she never gets tired and she always wants to play and stuff. my family cant relax in the living room cuz shes always going after someone and i always end up having to lock her up in my room cuz she gets so aggressive.

 

[darlili]

Ask your mom how long it takes either a toddler to grow out of the 'no' or terrible two's stage, or how long it takes a teen-ager to, ah, calm down.

Your little one is just a baby and is still learning her way around the world - she's got tons of energy. Honestly, things do settle down - and you may end up missing these kitten days.

 

[dude]

Originally Posted by darlili

Ask your mom how long it takes either a toddler to grow out of the 'no' or terrible two's stage, or how long it takes a teen-ager to, ah, calm down.

Your little one is just a baby and is still learning her way around the world - she's got tons of energy. Honestly, things do settle down - and you may end up missing these kitten days.

lol i doubt i will end up missing these days but yeah thanks, its reassuring. despite her aggressiveness i probably will end up missing them, lol u guys know best im the noobie here.man im exhausted this psycho kitty has been keeping me up i barely got any sleep since i got her. it just kinda sucks cuz ive been doing all this for her, ud think shed let me pet her, or show me some love or feel some sympathy or something lol. its funny cuz my friends say shes the "purrfect" (lol zing! excuse my dumb jokes i havent got much sleep lol) kitty for me, cuz im kinda considered the crazy one in my group always getting into fights or when we go party or whatever . shes behind me right now just cleaning her self and chilling out. she wants to play (as always) but im just too tired. and when i dont play with her she just takes mini naps, and even then she wont let u pet her and stuff. shes lucky shes so damn cute lol. man....

 

[stephanietx]

Maybe your friend can catsit while you try to get some sleep!

 

[ldg]

You sound just like my husband did when we rescued our first cat. We didn't adopt her - she adopted us over time, and she lived outside. But he thought she was SO ungrateful for everything. Yet there he was - making sure she was beautifully groomed (long hair) - and as the weather got colder, he was the one who suggested we get her a bed - we started feeding her inside... and of course, every morning at 3:00am she wanted out and let us know in no uncertain terms.

She did become quite the love bug. But this was an adult cat that had formerly been owned by someone, and gotten out and got lost. (She was a pure bred Maine Coon and had already been spayed).

9/10 years later, we now live with 8 cats, all rescued ferals - some older, some younger when rescued. ALL of them seemingly ungrateful (according to Gary).

She'll get cuddlier as time goes on. The cooler weather will help. And you WILL look back on this time fondly. Don't forget to take LOTS of pictures, because they grow up really fast. It doesn't seem like it while it's happening, because they are a handful. Young ANYTHING is a handful!

(Well, maybe not fish). But one day you'll look back and wonder where all the time went and how she got so big so fast...

Sleep when you can, play with her when you can... and one morning you'll wake up and realize you slept through the night.

 

[dude]

ok shes still biting and stuff but im not really sure if its getting better or not. she will never really let you pet her, only SOMETIMES like you have to go to her and pet her she never comes to you, or when shes REALLY tired or sleepy. i play with her wearing gloves and wrestle with her cuz i dunno how else to play with her cuz of the biting. she also likes chasing balls and stuff when i throw, the funny thing when she chases it she wont grab it and start playing with it or anything, she just sits there and waits for me to throw the next one.

but some things ive been noticing is that she follows me around and stuff. like say if i go to the bathroom, she waits outside until im out. or when she wants to rest or something she always picks a place thats in the same room as me or a couple feet away from me. another thing ive noticed is that when i sleep she also sleeps with me. like ill be sleeping on my bed and she will sleep like on the headboard, or beside my legs.

she lets me pick her up but as soon as i sit down with her she gets off my lap or tries biting or something. another thing i noticed she does sometimes is when im sleeping or lying down she comes and licks my head (i have a buzz cut) and she will keep doing it for a while. i know its kinda gross but it kinda feels good, and i just let her do it, cuz i dont know what it means. and if thats the only affection (im assuming it is i dunno?) she will show me, then hell ill take it lol. does this mean she's getting better? she still bites and stuff and goes crazy but i dunno?

 

[stephanietx]

When she licks your hair, she's grooming you. It's definitely a good thing and a sign of affection and claiming you as "hers". Sleeping with you and following you around and such is also a good sign as she's wanting to be near you and she recognizes that you're her human. I would say that's also a sign of affection because she wants to be with you and near you, seeing what you're doing and getting in your business. I thought my little guy was in one of the other kitty's food this evening when he had actually followed me over to the back door!

Keep working on breaking her of the biting habit. Some kitties don't outgrow it, but most will. Redirect her with an appropriate soft chew toy. Some kitties also just aren't lap cats nor do they like to be held. Or, they are lap cats and like to be held on their terms, when it's their idea. Just continue to work with her and you might be pleasantly surprised in a few months when she's a bit older that you'll see the fruit of your labors.

 

[frankthetank]

I got my first kitten last summer. I had an older cat growing up, and my husband had a few cats when we met but they were all older. I wanted a kitten and a friend had some so we ended up taking one in. She was all by herself, no other cat wanted to play with her. We made sure she had TONS of toys to play with, got lots of love etc. We would bring her into the bed when we went to bed (she was so small at first we wanted her locked with us) and I would hold her on my chest so she could feel my heartbeat, and lightly stroke her nose/head til she was sleepy, and she would curl up with us.
Kittens are so funny. I know you said you can't get another kitten or anything, but kittens in pairs are amazing. We had Katie last year and she got kinda mean and distant after awhile. I started working from home, so we adopted Joey back in April of this year. Joey just wanted to play ALLLLL the time, and Katie was still young, so he played with her a lot. We had to wear socks all the time because Joey's favorite game was to bite our toes when we walked.
A few weeks later, we had the chance to adopt a blind kitten that was going to be abandoned/put down, and he was about Joey's age. They bonded immediately...Now, 3 months after that, we found a kitten outside scrounging for food in our chicken coop. Toby was about 8 weeks old, and once he got over his sickness, he is now so bonded to our other kittens. They sleep in the same areas, play together all the time, and are adorable. We throw some balls with bells in them into the kitchen and they "play soccer" with them. We use dangly toys, and they find their own things to play with. If we take them into our room at night, we try to make sure to have a scratch post, and some other random toys. They sell toys that can suction cup to your wall, that maybe your kitten can play with so it doesn't bother you while you sleep?
Joey was SO playful when we got him, I worried he would never want to be around us. He is such a big baby/lapcat and he is only 6 months old. He runs up to me all the time and leaps onto my lap and purrs so loud and he waits outside the bathroom for me also

Toby, our youngest, we also call BITEY. He is awful with biting. To the point that it is hard to hold him without him biting. So we end up holding him and trying to dangle toys at him so he knows that biting/scratching is for toys and not us. We also make sure to pet his upper nose/head so he doesnt see hands coming at him as a threat ( as that seems to be when he bites/scratches most).
Be patient with it, she is a baby and just playing. My husband gets a little annoyed with the biting sometimes but I just remind him that its what kittens do and try to redirect the kitten. Also, welcome to the site. I just started posting a couple months back when we got our blind kitten, and I love this site. The people are awesome, and I love being able to discuss my kitties with other people who love kitties!

 

[trixshar]

Pardon but I had to laugh about your complaint that you can pick up Meeka but then she does not stay on your lap when you sit down. I have had a number of cats & have 10 affection-seeking indoor cats right now. Not one of them will stay on my lap if I pick it up.
Most cats feel being on your lap should be the choice of the cat. However, if you have more than one cat, odds are you will never have an empty lap.
Although 9 of my cats range from 5 to 14 years, I presently have a kitten, feral-born & rescued at around weeks. I had to keep him in a cage most of the time while my adult cats got used to him, so he was a wild thing when taken out to play with toys every day. I let him play as he wished, then let him chase a fluff-on-a-string toy for about 10 minutes, after which he was pooped enough to happily spend some quiet time on my elderly Mother's lap, for 5 to 15 minutes. He would never stay on my lap at all, and was indeed all teeth & claws most of the time. Now, at 4 months, he runs around all day chasing & jumping on the other cats, but apparently they clued him in that laps are good. I can no longer sit down without the little guy on me. I have to put him into the cage (with his kitten kibble) to give the other cats lap time.
I have also fostered a litter of 4 ferals, also from 5 weeks old. They were playful & affectionate with each other, but too squirmy to like being held & petted. I gave each some petting time every day, whether they liked it or not, since it was my aim to socialize them for adoption. By the time they left for their new homes, they were all loving & affectionate with their humans, although they played extremely roughly with each other. I think little carnivores need to play rough & learn limits with play-biting. If they don't have other kittens to react against, you get to be their chew-toy. IT takes a lot of patience & toys, but if you don't try to impose your will on her (this is a cat, not a dog,) you can have a wonderful, affectionate companion that will be bonded with you.
(Incidentally, you don't have to go broke on toys. Empty toilet paper rolls, anything that can be chased on a string with you on the other end, empty paper grocery bags - all will be welcomed with delight.)

 

[dude]

hey thanks for the replies. if it was up to me i would get another kitten but i cant. i think Meeka is getting better though. when i sleep on the bed she comes and sleeps like beside my feet on the blanket or something most of the time. sometimes she comes and licks my head like i said b4. me and my family have started disciplining her more. like if she bites we give her a little smack, or we lock her up in my room for like 10 minutes. i think she starting to understand. and now sometimes i can get her to chill beside me by just gently pushing her down b4 she gets up to leave my side. she usually chills for a while so i can pet her, and then she will look at me squinting her eyes slowly and stuff looking all cute (i heard that means they like you i dunno). but yeah thanks for all the advice guys.

 

[stephanietx]

No smacking the cat!! Definitely not a good thing for a cat. You can hiss and you can firmly tell her "NO!", but absolutely NO hitting the cat.

 

[mommysugar]

Hey dude !

My cat bites and generally does not like to be touched too. I figured out that he knows I do not like what he does when I turn my back toward him for a minutes and then say if we are sitting on the couch together and he bites me I will block his face with my hand, but from a distance. I basically block his gaze toward me with my hand and it drives him nuts! (Kinda like how you can "crush peoples heads" with your thumb and forefinger from a distance.) And after he is done pacing around because I wont let him see me, he eventually will lay his head on the ground kinda sad and pitiful like.

That's what I do when he bites me, if that made sense, idk that might get you further instead of hitting her.

 

[dragulescugirl]

When my cats used to misbehave I would gently blow in their face. Let me stress gently! They don't like the feeling of it but it is non aggressive and not painful like hitting or grabbing them. I do have one cat who loves when you blow air in her face, but most likely yours will not and it will be enough to stop the behavior. Target makes very inexpensive battery operated toys that can run for many hours. I got one for my two youngest cats and it was a lifesaver for those midnight hour spurts of energy.

If I may, let me recommend a way to bond, I tried this on all four of my cats and only one has had issues. But after kittens usually eat, the mother will take time to groom them. Try playing with her a half hour before she eats, feed her a high protein meal, then pick her up and pet her gently. You may at first only get a few minutes, but she will come to associate you being affectionate with all the other things she likes.

Enjoy your baby! They grow up very fast and remember, for the most part this is a normal behavior.