Hello all. We are a standstill in our cats introduction phase, and it's causing great to stress in a personal lives.
I'm on month 18 and I'm at my wits end. Please oh God please help. Here's the backstory:
We had two cats in our household, when my 18-year-old female passed away, the younger 7-8-year-old female was visibly not taking it well. We decided to adopt a cat as fast as we could to get her a play buddy. At an adoption event at the local pet store, I asked what cat was unadoptable? She showed me a larger yellow male neutered 1-3-years-old. Extremely shy.
So we adopted him. He spent 14 days at the adoption agency while we prepared the house for the new family member(and do the current cat time to grieve). At the adoption agency he was put in with many other cats and had absolutely no issues. In fact he cuddled and hid with other cats. Sorry to use the term but he was a big old scaredy cat. He was also a rescue from horder, who had the state take all of her animals away. He was then caged and spent 10 to 14 hours in a vehicle to come to Colorado. So he just likes cars greatly.
We did the slowest introduction and followed everything the guide told us to do. Step by step.
Turns out once he came out of a shell he is not a scaredy cat, he's extremely playful, and super talkative, and extremely lovey. He loves food, cuddles, play and in that order.
Are older female is a very small kind of odd cat. Extremely unfood motivated, she will not eat she doesn't care. She rarely wants attention when she does she wants it on her own terms. She liked to lick herself until she bleeds so she's medicated through her ears, and it worked wonderfully.
So after an extremely slow introduction, we finally gathered the courage to let them meet face to face. He immediately attacked her. And every introduction after that as soon as she turns her back on him he attacks her. Whenever he sneaks through the screen door we installed in the middle of our house he attacks her... Now he stares from time to time and sometimes for long times to try to see her through the screen door. We went back to blocking it so they can't see each other and it literally did no good.
We tried to cage them next to each other, we tried putting one in a cage and alternating which one was in the cage and which one was in the room. We tried having them in a room together and us just physically separating them when they fought. Nothing seems to be working. Whenever she would turn he would go after her.
What makes it worse is the small female it's so over the top she makes it sound like she's being killed, when they're not even hurting each other. Now we are scared to have them together because he attacks her whatever she turns her back.
We even hired a pet psychologist. Watched every single Jackson Galaxy video (which by the way magically leave out a whole bunch of steps, important ones), read dozens of articles, watched every video we could find....
We are basically stuck on the step where we swapped them from one side of the house to the other everyday(with no progress as far as I can tell). We have a screen door in the middle of our house, which I absolutely hate now. We're on the 4th medication on the younger male to try and calm him down and remove aggression. I personally believe it's only minorly working.
I just don't know what to do I'm almost at my wit's end. What do we do next after the swapping phase? How do we make them at least be able to cohabitate?
My wife likes to point out and act like they're making progress. They are literally in the exact same place they were a year ago..... The worst part is she's extremely attached to both cats now, and there's no way one will ever get rehomed. Should rather live like this forever that give up anyway shape or form.
Things to mention, the cats are extremely spoiled. The healthiest food possible to buy. Loads of cat toys. Six cat boxes. Multiple climbing structures. Both cats have an outside pen they can access 24 hours a day (one on each side of the house).
Thank you any help is appreciative.
I'm on month 18 and I'm at my wits end. Please oh God please help. Here's the backstory:
We had two cats in our household, when my 18-year-old female passed away, the younger 7-8-year-old female was visibly not taking it well. We decided to adopt a cat as fast as we could to get her a play buddy. At an adoption event at the local pet store, I asked what cat was unadoptable? She showed me a larger yellow male neutered 1-3-years-old. Extremely shy.
So we adopted him. He spent 14 days at the adoption agency while we prepared the house for the new family member(and do the current cat time to grieve). At the adoption agency he was put in with many other cats and had absolutely no issues. In fact he cuddled and hid with other cats. Sorry to use the term but he was a big old scaredy cat. He was also a rescue from horder, who had the state take all of her animals away. He was then caged and spent 10 to 14 hours in a vehicle to come to Colorado. So he just likes cars greatly.
We did the slowest introduction and followed everything the guide told us to do. Step by step.
Turns out once he came out of a shell he is not a scaredy cat, he's extremely playful, and super talkative, and extremely lovey. He loves food, cuddles, play and in that order.
Are older female is a very small kind of odd cat. Extremely unfood motivated, she will not eat she doesn't care. She rarely wants attention when she does she wants it on her own terms. She liked to lick herself until she bleeds so she's medicated through her ears, and it worked wonderfully.
So after an extremely slow introduction, we finally gathered the courage to let them meet face to face. He immediately attacked her. And every introduction after that as soon as she turns her back on him he attacks her. Whenever he sneaks through the screen door we installed in the middle of our house he attacks her... Now he stares from time to time and sometimes for long times to try to see her through the screen door. We went back to blocking it so they can't see each other and it literally did no good.
We tried to cage them next to each other, we tried putting one in a cage and alternating which one was in the cage and which one was in the room. We tried having them in a room together and us just physically separating them when they fought. Nothing seems to be working. Whenever she would turn he would go after her.
What makes it worse is the small female it's so over the top she makes it sound like she's being killed, when they're not even hurting each other. Now we are scared to have them together because he attacks her whatever she turns her back.
We even hired a pet psychologist. Watched every single Jackson Galaxy video (which by the way magically leave out a whole bunch of steps, important ones), read dozens of articles, watched every video we could find....
We are basically stuck on the step where we swapped them from one side of the house to the other everyday(with no progress as far as I can tell). We have a screen door in the middle of our house, which I absolutely hate now. We're on the 4th medication on the younger male to try and calm him down and remove aggression. I personally believe it's only minorly working.
I just don't know what to do I'm almost at my wit's end. What do we do next after the swapping phase? How do we make them at least be able to cohabitate?
My wife likes to point out and act like they're making progress. They are literally in the exact same place they were a year ago..... The worst part is she's extremely attached to both cats now, and there's no way one will ever get rehomed. Should rather live like this forever that give up anyway shape or form.
Things to mention, the cats are extremely spoiled. The healthiest food possible to buy. Loads of cat toys. Six cat boxes. Multiple climbing structures. Both cats have an outside pen they can access 24 hours a day (one on each side of the house).
Thank you any help is appreciative.