- Joined
- Nov 25, 2008
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So one of my good girlfriends is having issues with this guy, C. She has been venting to me about him for the longest time- basically they were just roommates and they just fell in love unexpectedly, and now she feels like she wants a long term relationship with him, and it seemed like they were headed that way, but now it seems like the guy is backing out. He isn't telling her anything directly though, he is still treating her like he cares a lot about her and wants to be with her, but she is really annoyed at little things she asks him to do, like not to get drink alcohol if she needs him for something, that he refuses to do.
Anyway, last night C.calls me and asks if he can confide in me. He is also my old friend from high school, and we have been having this really fun flirty friendship that's basically just us joking ever since. So, he tells me he doesn't want to be with her long term, and he tells me that I know him better than most people and I know that he always just goes with the flow of things and doesn't want to upset people, so he has basically been leading her on, and he feels awful about it. Then he goes on to say that he is prone to infidelity, so he knows he will disappoint her. I was just baffled and sad to hear something like this from him- so I ask him, do you never plan to be in a long term monogamous relationship?? He says, yes he does, but the thing with my friend was never meant to be that, he says he was surprised he was able to co exist with her and then before he realized he fell for her....
Excuse the rant but, to to most of us girls falling in love spontaneously is so romantic and fun. But apparently to guys, it just means that it's a fling that won't last???? This just confirms that guys are wayy too grounded and pragmatic when it comes to love and relationships, and to me that's the worst thing ever! If I'm pragmatic about most of my life, relationships is where I'm the opposite, I prefer things to be spontaneous and maybe I'm a bit too idealistic, to a point where I don't even "date" - I just wait for someone who is single but happy by himself, loves animals, and is sweet and caring to come into my life and for things to naturally progress into something like a lifetime of passionate love, lol...And what really saddens me, is the fact that my friend C. is such a great guy, he is really smart, and expresses his feelings so well and so easily which is also rare for guys!! But here he is treating my friend so badly
Anyway hearing him and my own personal experiences just depresses me. I know most of you girls on here are married or in relationships so you will likely jump in and say you're wrong, the perfect guy exists I'm married to him
But I just feel the need to rant about this lol..
Anyway, so my friend C. is basically saying he is not ready for a relationship, he just wants to make her happy for as long as he can, and fulfill most, but not all of her desires.
I just feel sooo bad that he's doing this to her, while she has been asking herself, analyzing his every action and trying to figure out if he truly loves her or if she's just fun for him. And I mean she's really been going crazy with that, like she doesn't even get any sleep over it! And here is where I have to ask for advice- do I tell her what he told me, since he asked me if he can confide in me I feel like I shouldn't' say anything, but my heart is breaking for my girl friend
I want to yell at him and tell him to please just tell her how he feels and just end everything that's going on between them, but that will probably just antagonize him, and I don't want to lose him as a friend either
Anyway, last night C.calls me and asks if he can confide in me. He is also my old friend from high school, and we have been having this really fun flirty friendship that's basically just us joking ever since. So, he tells me he doesn't want to be with her long term, and he tells me that I know him better than most people and I know that he always just goes with the flow of things and doesn't want to upset people, so he has basically been leading her on, and he feels awful about it. Then he goes on to say that he is prone to infidelity, so he knows he will disappoint her. I was just baffled and sad to hear something like this from him- so I ask him, do you never plan to be in a long term monogamous relationship?? He says, yes he does, but the thing with my friend was never meant to be that, he says he was surprised he was able to co exist with her and then before he realized he fell for her....
Excuse the rant but, to to most of us girls falling in love spontaneously is so romantic and fun. But apparently to guys, it just means that it's a fling that won't last???? This just confirms that guys are wayy too grounded and pragmatic when it comes to love and relationships, and to me that's the worst thing ever! If I'm pragmatic about most of my life, relationships is where I'm the opposite, I prefer things to be spontaneous and maybe I'm a bit too idealistic, to a point where I don't even "date" - I just wait for someone who is single but happy by himself, loves animals, and is sweet and caring to come into my life and for things to naturally progress into something like a lifetime of passionate love, lol...And what really saddens me, is the fact that my friend C. is such a great guy, he is really smart, and expresses his feelings so well and so easily which is also rare for guys!! But here he is treating my friend so badly
Anyway, so my friend C. is basically saying he is not ready for a relationship, he just wants to make her happy for as long as he can, and fulfill most, but not all of her desires.