Frustrated with my half-feral cat...

[maggiedemi]

Oh, I forgot to tell you, my male cat does that too, he asks for pets, but after a while of petting he lashes out and bites or scratches. It means he got too excited and wants to play. Try to redirect him with a toy when he does this.

 

[chint]

I'm just tired right now... jeesus christ almighty. They say dogs are harder to take care of? Well, maybe they are, but they certainly ain't harder to work with. I can't remove him, from my couch... I can't touch him/pick him up when he's on his side, or he'll attack me. I can't just sit where I want to sit and hope he'll go away, I can't put my blanket over him, I can't gently push him away with my feet, or he'll attack me. I got to bribe him with a treat to sit where I want in my own couch. If he sits on my clothes, I don't know what I'm golng to do, 'cus he attacks me if I try to pull it from underneath him. Is this a bad joke? I'll wait a about a month, maybe take him to the vet... if that doesn't work out, I'm through with cats. Period.

 

[maggiedemi]

He sounds like he wants to play. My male cat does this, I just have to redirect him with a toy. And he often steals my chair too. He is very loving when he is sleepy though. You might be better off with a dog. But I want you to know that there are loving, sweet, cuddly cats. I had a few when I was a child. One was a male black & white tuxedo, the best cat I ever had, I still miss him terribly. You just have to spend enough time with them at the shelter and make sure they are a lap cat. Older cats have their personality formed, maybe try a cat that's around two years old.

 

[chint]

Well, this one is 4 years old. I don't know if he's playful... I play with him two or three times a day, so he should be getting an outlet for it. He is a lapcat, but to be honest I'm really not that into a lapcat that attacks me without very much warning. Yeah, I know there are sweet and cuddly cats, that's why I wanted a cat. Feeling a little disillusioned now though. Maybe other people think it's sweet and funny to get attacked, clawed or bitten. I don't. And yes, I know, they are animals and can't help it. I still think cat can be real jerks though.

 

[maggiedemi]

The cats that I had as a child never bit or scratched. We had 9 throughout my childhood, 7 of them were friendly, 2 were afraid of us, but even the ones who were afraid never hurt us. It is new to me to have cats that bite and scratch, but I love them so much, I will try to train them. No, it's not sweet or funny to be attacked, I understand. I wish you could have visited with the cats a little more before taking them home, so that you could see which ones were more gentle.

 

[chint]

Maybe you're right... this one wasn't from the shelter, though. Well, it was, but was stationed at a fosterparent where he had stayed for a month. He seemed perfectly at ease and calm when I visited. He didn't even meet my look. I could pet him and he rubbed against my legs. I remember reading that he was a little anxious, at the description from the shelter, but that was from earlier, and the shelter recommended him. As long as he was the only cat. Which is fine. I talked with the fosterparent, he had no problems with him at all. Nothing. His girlfriend was a little annoyed that he was so cozy that she felt a little strangled But nothing else. So... if I look a little more objective at it (which is pretty hard right now), I assume it is a new home, of course, but probably mostly the smell after Mille, that stresses him? Maybe that he can see the neighbour-cats from the windows in my bedroom. I don't know.

 

[chint]

He was also an inside/outside cat at the fosterhome before I got him. He doesn't nag about going outside though.

 

[msaimee]

A trip to the vet might be a good idea- his behavior might be due to something medical. Did the shelter staff give you information about his past and why he was brought to the shelter? Do they have a vet who examines the cats before adopting them out?

If Linus doesn't work out, you might have a better experience adopting a kitten from a private person. It will be kitten season soon, with many people advertising locally and on social media looking for homes. Kittens are very affectionate, and if you adopt a very young one (6-10 weejs old) it will bond strongly to you. I hope you can discover what Linus' problem is and keep hiim, though, and at least give it a month. BTW, dogs have challenging behaviors, too. If someone gives up a dog to a shelter, there's usually a behavioral issue involved.

 

[maggiedemi]

msaimme brings up a good point, most of my cats from my childhood came from private people, from the newspaper. And they were all tame. It seems that the shelters take in a lot of strays and ferals that never learned not to bite and scratch from their mother. My two cats now are feral, straight from the woods. They must have been taken from their mother too soon, because they never learned.

 

[chint]

I'll keep that in mind. No, nothing about his past, to be honest I thought I'd just go see him and check his behaviour out for myself. He was examined by a vet february this year.

Guess you learn the hard way, huh... Well, if this doesn't work out then it's probably going to be a long time before I get a cat again. If I do.

 

[havecats]

Hello Chint,

Just spent some time reading through this thread about your experience with not one but two special needs cats, one right after the other. I can definitely feel your pain and frustration. I appreciate how you shared so honestly about the journey thus far. I thought one comment you made was interesting a few pages back - how you got a cat (Mille) to make life easier for you.

Having a pet, in this case a cat, can certainly make life easier as we come to know them and spend time with them and we begin to understand them and vice versa. They can enrich our lives and we learn so much from them. But it doesn't always make life easier, especially when they come with challenges in the form of health and behavioral issues.

The cat you're with currently sounds similar to the one I am helping right now. He also has play aggression and I received many painful bites and scratches along the way. We've made some changes and I have gotten to know him better. He has made a lot of improvements but it has taken a significant amount of time and will take more time until he is able to adjust to my other cats. It's been slow going but I want to take my time so he and the other cats will eventually begin to feel comfortable with each other.

It did help that the first feral cat I had, although really fearful and shy, was not aggressive in any way. The only way I could have any contact at all with him initially was to lay next to the bed and pet him gently while he was underneath it. He came to be very affectionate and loving with me, but didn't want to have anything much to do with anyone else. He did not like me to pick him up so I felt like I had to accept that about him and he became a wonderful, loyal and loving companion to me. Living in captivity was not easy for him and I think the stress that came with it caused the many health problems he had over the years. I wouldn't trade a thing about the extra care he required during the time we had together and I miss him still.

You have worked so hard to adapt to life with these two kitties and it sounds like it's been emotionally and physically draining. If you feel this current cat is not for you, maybe it would be time to take a break from having a cat for now. Maybe at some point in the future when you felt up to it, and wanted to have feline companionship you could volunteer your services at a cat shelter. You could still spend time with a kitty that would certainly appreciate your attention and affection without the responsibility of having to care for one 24/7.

Perhaps after your vet visit with Linus things will change and you will feel that this situation will work out. I hope that is the case and that he becomes a wonderful companion for you. Kudos to you for all your effort and hard work. It's clear you really care about your feline companions.

 

[chint]

Thank you for understanding, havecats. That helps. To be honest, this cat frightens me... I don't know what it is, but it's been like that from day one. I guess you could say he is a alpha-cat. He knows what he wants, he is fierce, intense, he doesn't want to move when he lays somewhere (believe me, I tried when he laid on the couch. He just lays there, and attacks when I try something), he clawed my foot for coming a little close to him. He attacked me from trying to get my clothes which he sat on. He acts like he ****ing own this place. I guess you're right, change comes slow... I don't expect the cat to change in a week or two. I noticed that with Mille. Maybe the best thing is just returning him to the shelter. I really can't say I feel any attachment to this cat either, at this point. To me he just seems like a brute at this point, invading my space and being aggressive.

 

[maggiedemi]

He sounds like he might be a former feral. If you don't socialize them soon enough, they stay a little wild. It reminds me of my cat, he always steals my chair when I leave the room for a minute!

 

[RLG]

Love hearing your updates

 

[chint]

Love hearing your updates

I suppose you're being sarcastic. There's no reason to pretend like you're above me, we don't all get cats for the same reason, or share the same passion for rescuing ferals, strays or whatever, regarding the cost.

 

[chint]

He sounds like he might be a former feral. If you don't socialize them soon enough, they stay a little wild. It reminds me of my cat, he always steals my chair when I leave the room for a minute!

I don't know, and frankly I don't care. I've had enough, and I'll just leave him alone, and see if he gets better in a couple of weeks. It's not that he steals my chair, that's just kind of cute. It's the aggressive and dominant behaviour I'm having a problem with. Aggressive/violent behaviour is something I have zero tolerance for in humans - the same goes for cats and other animals alike.

 

[maggiedemi]

Yeah, ferals or former ferals are better off with someone who can take the time to train them and love them despite their problems. Usually the momma cat and siblings will teach the kitten not to bite and scratch. But with ferals, they just don't seem to have learned it, whether they lost their momma too early or maybe the momma teaches them to be careful of humans. I don't really know.

 

[msaimee]

Didn't you say that Linus' previous foster home didn't have any problems with him and that he had been affectionate with his foster person? Is it possible for you to contact this person through the shelter and ask a bunch of questions to try to get at the root of what the problem may be? Ask how long it took him to get adjusted to the foster home and how they dealt with the aggression? The other thing I wanted to ask is if, when you get frustrated him, you raise your voice or scold (a very human reaction, and one I occassionally have had myself at times). If so, this may be part of the problem. Some cats, especially ones who are in a new home, are very sensitive to that sort of response and respond with stress or fear and aggression. Cats pick up on our emotions and respond. If this isn't occurring then there may be something else going on in his environment that is causing him to feel stressed. I hope you can talk to his previous foster care giver to get a better picture and better idea whether or not this will work out for both of you.

 

[chint]

I've been beginning to raise my voice as of these past few days, not from the beginning, and that's just to curb his dominating behaviour. I'm not shouting, but I'm firm and determined. The fosterparents just said that he wasn't any trouble at all in regards to this, and that he was only like that one time he saw him at a shelter. He said that Linus could pretty much do what he wanted in their house. He was inside for one week before being a inside/outside cat. He is affectionate here as well, that's not the problem. The problem is the underlying aggression. The shelter said they had problems with him being overstimulated earlier when he was at the shelter. The only reason I can think of is that he's been through a lot of changes (he lives at the fosterhome for one month before coming here) in a short amount of time, or that the smell of Mille is prevelant here, or that he gets buzzed by seeing cats outside the window to my backyard.

 

[chint]

Yeah, ferals or former ferals are better off with someone who can take the time to train them and love them despite their problems. Usually the momma cat and siblings will teach the kitten not to bite and scratch. But with ferals, they just don't seem to have learned it, whether they lost their momma too early or maybe the momma teaches them to be careful of humans. I don't really know.

That might be it, or the owner from she was a kitten might have played with him with her bare hands, he might've been abused. I don't know. There's also a theory that alpha-cats (yes, and some don't believe that there exists alpha-cats ) are more aggressive in general, to both overpetting, as to when some just run away, in getting what they want... an aggressive and dominant behavior in general. I don't know, but he is the opposite of Mille, anyway.