Frustrated with my half-feral cat...

[msaimee]

Since you want to adopt another cat anyway, I think the idea of adopting a friendly second cat and giving Mille a chance to see how she responds to the new addition before giving her up is a good idea. I would advise that you adopt a kitten, since they are unconditionally loving and accepting, and it is quite possible that Mille will adopt the kitten and assume a motherly role. From my experience, resident cats often feel protective towards a new young scared kitten. There may be a few days of hissing, but that usually passes quite quickly. If the shelter you have been dealing with does not have any kittens or indoor only cats, can you look elsewhere? In your local paper? Another shelter? It is so important to pick just the right Kitty this time around instead of letting the shelter talk you into another cat that will not be the affectionate, content kitty that you are looking for. Also, if you get a kitten as opposed to an older cat, you won't have to worry about frequent vet bills after spay and initial vaccines. Older cats do require more veterinary care. Adding a kitten as a second cat won't cost much more than having one cat. Anyway, this is just more food for thought for you.

 

[chint]

I've decided to stay on my original decision to return Mille to the shelter. I know it's the right thing to do for us, and I just have to trust my instincts on this.

I've just been at a fosterhome and looked at Linus
A beautiful cat ^_^ He didn't even look my in the eyes as I entered, and brushed against me almost right away. He loves cuddling and is a really affectionate cat. He's also calm and mild-mannered. I have to think about it before I make up my mind, but my instincts tell me we''ll have a very good chemistry

 

[orange&white]

You gave it your best shot for over 100 days, and you did help Mille come a long way from where she started. Hopefully they'll find her a good home.

Meanwhile, Linus is very handsome!

 

[daisyd]

Just make sure you don't regret anything as that adds to the anxiety too! Best of luck with whatever you decide

 

[chint]

You gave it your best shot for over 100 days, and you did help Mille come a long way from where she started. Hopefully they'll find her a good home.

Meanwhile, Linus is very handsome!

I hope so. I told them that she should be placed in a fosterhome, she still has quite a ways to go before she is domesticated.

Yes, I know

Just make sure you don't regret anything as that adds to the anxiety too! Best of luck with whatever you decide

Thank you. No, I've made up my mind. It's not easy to be perfectly 100% onboard with any decision/outcome, but I know with myself that this is the right thing to do, for me, in this situation.

 

[chint]

Hmm... have a question here. Have any of you had any experience with transporting a cat on a bus? Is it any worse than a car? Can the smell and sounds of other people be intimidating for the cat?

 

[orange&white]

I would think that a bus would be as stressful as the waiting room at a vet clinic...maybe more so because the vet's waiting area doesn't move and turn corners. On the other hand, you don't have a lot of animal smells on a bus.

Can you call Uber, Lyft or a taxi...or cajole a friend into a favor?

 

[chint]

Hmm, I guess you're right. No, that's true. Well, not necessarily, if you should be so unlucky as if someone brought their dog with them. I probably can

 

[chint]

What is Uber or Lyft btw?

 

[orange&white]

Oh, sorry. They are like a taxi cab company without all the regulation. The drivers are independent contractors. Sounds like you don't have Uber or Lyft where you live.

 

[chint]

Ah, oki. No, apparently not, never heard about them here in Norway. It's just taxi or what we call pirate-taxi here, which is people driving without a taxi-license, which is illegal

 

[orange&white]

Pirate-taxi in Norway is Uber or Lyft in the US...except they are legal here (mostly).

 

[chint]

Ok, Mille is returned to the Shelter now, and Linus came here on friday It's not exactly been smooth sailing, though. He's a completely different cat, and doesn't seem to have a problem with attachment or been overly scared - he went around my bedroom exploring and snuggling towards me almost at the very beginning. He also eat almost right away. So I introduced him to the rest of my apartment pretty quick. Well, he snuck out just as I was getting a new bowl of fresh water. So he looked around and seems pretty ok. He wants my attention, so I pet him, though he love-bites me Not aware that he was over-stimulated at the time. There didn't seem to be a problem lifting him up/down, so when I was going to bed he was laying on it, on his side, so I tried lifting him down. Didn't like that... thought maybe he thought I was going to play with him, but trying to lift him when he lies on his side is not ok at all. So I got a few scratches... kind of those: "stop, this is really not ok with me". Like using your hands to stop, just that they have claws Saturday, he gets really frustrated/overworked, probably by all the sensory-overload. It's getting really hot here, so I have to have the windows open to not melt inside here. Which sucks a little for Linus... the summer just came, and there's a lot of noise and people and drunk people from partying on the night and so forth. I also didn't get the overstimulation thing before sunday. Pretty new to me. I pet him some on saturday, and it seemed like he wanted me to, even though his tail went bonkers. Like I said, I'm used to cats just running away if they don't want more petting or something. So it all makes sense when I see some youtubevideos, etc. So today I cleaned the floor... probably not the best decision, but I didn't have time to mop all the floors before he came, so I took the rest of them now. No vacuums or anything, just the mop. So I moved some things around when I did, including his food-bowl and waterbowl. He seemed a little stressed out after that... meowing and wanting to be close to me, be affectioante, butting into my hands, but having a low tolerance for me touching him. I went shopping, and when I came back he had pooped on the floor, right in the middle, twice. He's got diarrhea, and I'm not surprised about that.... I tried finding out what kind of dryfood he ate at his fosterdad, but he said he just gave what they gave him from the shelter - he didn't know what it was. The shelter couldn't be very specific, so I tried with the closest match, and saw in the litterbox that he does have a little diarrhea. I thought I might as well be changing it to the food I've got here (got 2 7.5 kgs of Applaws chicken and salmon), instead of getting used to this food, and then stressing with changing later. Probably a stupid decision, I don't know. Anyway, it's a mix right now of Royal Canin sterilised cat and the Applaws. The poop on the floor was really runny in the one place, and the other almost half of it was indigested. He's also been acting weird tonight, after this... wanting to be near me, but getting his claws out fast when I start touching him. I try to stay just around his head now, and sometimes testing out where his limits go. He has a low tolerance for anything below the head, so no point in going anywhere beneath that. It's confusing though, seeking attention and wanting to headbutt into me, but pretty low tolerance for any touching.
is all this normal moving into a new home? Should I consult a vet regarding his diarhhea? Should I avoid touching him at all and just let him rub into me? He also wants to lay very close to me, so it's a little... strange.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Give him a day or two with the tummy upset.

MANY cats are hypersensitive to touch below the neck. This may settle down as he adjusts to his new home and to you, or it may not. Oddly, I can use my own cat, Hekitty, almost as a living biofeedback machine. If I stroke her full-length and she "ripples," I know my energy levels are too high and/or chaotic. That said, TOO much stroking will always provoke a reaction. So for now, stay with the head, cheeks, chin, around the ears, and see how he does. He wants to be with you, and he IS affectionate, you just have to learn where his "tricky spots" are.

 

[chint]

I really don't get this cat... he asks for attention and affection, and gets overstimulated fast. His tail goes a little all the time it seems, so it's hard to say when it's enough. He gets me a little nervous. He even asks for attention when he gets overstimulated it seems, that's what baffles me. And I try to stay just above the head/beck.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

If it keeps up, you may need to see a vet about anxiety meds. Maybe. Time will tell. He's affectionate, but overamps in a heartbeat. You seem to have a cat with SOME of the issues that you, yourself face. Not quite the same, but in the general vicinity, so to speak. But if that's the issue, it is very controllable with minimal medication.

 

[chint]

I'm really lucky with the cats I've been presented thus far.... Jesus christ. he laid on his side just now, And I just petted him a little, before he grabbed a hold of my hand and bit it. I had to pull it out if its claws. This is fun...
Yeah, I've noticed that myself. I can see that some of my energy is rubbing off, but no way if that's the complete explanation. I've never had that affect on cats before. Ok... We'll see how he holds up for the next week or so. It's a tough situation to deal with... I just want a normal cat that I can cuddle with and have a normal life with, not get hissed upon a lot of the time or bitten or clawed or god knows.

 

[chint]

Maybe he reacts to the smell of Mille? I just asked the previos cat-owner, or fosterparents, and he said that he wasn't like that at all. But he was once when he saw him at the shelter. And Mille was also at the shelter, perhaps in that time-period. I don't know. The people from the shelter suggested that I should just have him, he doesn't go too well, with other cats. Maybe that's the issue?

 

[msaimee]

I wouldn't consider medication for a cat unless he was so stressed that he was grooming to the point of producing bald patches on his body, or viciously attacking people or other cats. Have you tried Feliway? The spray bottles are less expensive than the plug-ins, and you could spray that where he hangs out and see if it helps. . ShadowRescue talks a lot about using composure treats. I haven't used those and aren't sure where they're purchased, but it's worth looking into.. It's better to go the more natural remedy way than the pharmaceutical way when possible. It sounds like he just needs more time to settle in and adjust. Cats who have been caged in a shelter need time to de-stress (just as you would if you'd been confined in a small cage for several weeks!) Also, if he's had fleas, he could have sores and scabs on his skin that are still healing. One of my rescued cats had been so badly infested that it took over a year for his skin to heal, and like your cat, he would get over stimulated and nip at me. Or Linus might have very dry skin which will heal with proper diet and hydration. Don't assume this is a behavioral issue, it could be physical. Every new cat taken into one's home will have some adjustment issues at first, at least all of mine have, but with some time and patience they are usually fine.

 

[maggiedemi]

Chint- sorry you're having such a hard time with the cats you adopt. The problem is, cats aren't like dogs, they are very independent and they choose what they want to do and when. I have two cats and neither one of them want to sit on my lap or cuddle. It breaks my heart because the cats I had growing up were very loving and that's what I wanted to have again. But I love them and would never give them up. Do the shelters let you sit in a room with the cats and see if they come up and sit on your lap? Maybe a little older cat would work out better for you, their personalities are usually set.