A year ago today i let Dr.Starr euthanize Sweetie. She was a feral cat i fed for 9 months and trapped with the wonderful thought that she would be part of my family. The doctor had to tell me she had leukemia. All the details are vague now because the news was like getting punched. Doctor mapped out a way I could keep her alive by isolating her in a room of my home. My 3 other cats would never stay away from her, in a large cage they would still get in the room. We don't have enough space. I think part of me died that day. A year later I am still grief stricken. i never held her. i never gave her a safe peaceful night in my home. I didn't do enough. i miss Sweetie so terribly. I miss Sweetie. I have her ashes. She is my cat and all I have is her ashes.