First Time Kitten Owner With A Scardy-cat!!

[Elizapril]

Hello! My name is Elizabeth and I'm a first time kitten owner! I grew up with three cats but Leila was the first I ever adopted myself.
Leila was a 6 month old Oriental Shorthair when I adopted her. The woman I bought her from had nearly 30+ kittens in her care, so I'm thinking Leila didn't have a lot of human contact prior to me picking her up.
She's been at my apartment now for just over 5 weeks. I read extensively about confining her to one room and slowing introducing her to the rest of the house, but my apartment is really small. She spends all day and evening hiding - whether it be under the couch or in the closet (at the top with the hangers) but she doesn't come out AT ALL if the suns up.
Once it's night time and she's sure my fiancé and I have gone to bed, she'll come out and eat, do her business in the litter box, jump on her cat tree, and creep in our bedroom. She likes to just stare at us from the doorway. Sometimes she'll jump up on the table next to my bed but if I move an inch, she scrambles away.
My concern is that she's not eating enough and she seems SO stressed out all the time. I was wondering if anyone had any advice based on the info I provided to help her come out of her shell and maybe trust my fiancé and I?
I have pet her while she was on her cat tree and I could tell she was loving it but after that night, she stopped using her cat tree while we were awake. So yeah, I screwed that up. Anyways, any advice would be awesome!!! Here's some pictures of Leila too

 

[Elizapril]

My apologies. I used the word "adopted" twice but to be clear, I purchased Leila from a breeder in Brooklyn, NY. Oriental Shorthairs are typically $800-$1,200 and she was selling my little Leila for $350. It made sense when I walked in because she just had way too many kittens. The woman seemed so nice but maybe my Leila wasn't paid much attention to.

 

[susanm9006]

She is just lovely. I know that it is frustrating when a cat is slow to come out of hiding, but continuing to do what you are doing, ignoring her is the right thing to do. And the fact that she is using her litterbox and checking you out is great. Eventually, can't say how long, she will come out to check you both out and watch you during the day and then start getting closer. I would set out some kind of wet food during the day to entice her out, but don't react or even look at her if she does come out. Once she is coming out during the day, I would start playing with some kind of motion toys, something that bounces or wiggles and see if she will join in the game. When it comes to petting, you want her to come to you looking for attention. She will let you know when she is ready.

If she is eating at all, I wouldn't worry too much about it at this point.

 

[abyeb]

I love Orientals! They're so graceful and elegant, and Leila is clearly no exception.

All cats can take some time to get used to a new environment. Have you tried a Feliway diffuser? This could help make the transition easier for Leila. I'll also attach some articles that might help you out:

How To Get A Cat To Come Out Of Hiding?

Six Surefire Strategies To Reduce Stress In Cats

 

[stephanietx]

I adopted a kitty 6 years ago. She would barely come out to eat. She hid in her safe space or in the dark living room all the time. I would go into the room and sit on the floor and talk to her in a very calm, soft voice. I didn't force her to come out of hiding. I didn't get overly excited when I saw her. I basically let her gain her confidence on her own time frame. It's very hard to wait, but it's worth it. Even 6 years later, she is still coming out of her shell and showing us new sides to her personality. You might also consider adopting a friend for her, maybe from a local rescue group. Maybe that will help draw her out some.

 

[danteshuman]

I would add giving her more hiding places all around the apartment. That way she has places to feel safe. I think a buddy that is super affectionate/well socialized is a fantastic idea. Even if she doesn't know the cat, she will watch how you interact with the cat and learn. A bridge cat so to speak. Also there are tons of free older cats that may have lost their home and need a new one. I'm sure your local shelter can help you pick out one with a nice calm confident temperament.

 

[Elizapril]

I just want to update this thread and ask for more advice...
Leila has now been with us for 2 months! She found a new hiding spot where she can spy on us from so she's been coming out more in the day time. She is still utterly terrified of my fiancé and I though. I'm nervous because she expresses aggressive behaviors at times. In the morning, she yowls and I know she's ready to eat. But when I go to get her food bowl, she'll often start hissing and spitting at me, even if I go slow and with my back turned.
I was talking softly to her before, but now she just yowls and hisses at me when I do it. Like really long, really sad yowls I don't really know what to do to let her know that we are not threatening her...
We're currently looking into adopting an outgoing friend but we may choose not to do that based on cost/potential apartment finding in the future.
She's still a total creep and stands right next to my bed and stares at me while I sleep hahaha I don't know if I'll get used to that but it does make me happy because it's the only time she's willing to come near me
EDIT: Also, Leila is NOT interested in playing with toys at all and I'm worried that she's bored and lonely. I put some beanie babies on her cat tree and she'll bat those around, but she doesn't respond to catnip, a laser pointer (she knows it's me) or fishing rod type toys. Is there something else I can try? Or is it normal to be uninterested in playing? She just sleeps and stares at us all day and night, I can't imagine that to be fulfilling for her...

 

[susanm9006]

It is hard when they take so long to adjust. Don’t take the hissing and spitting personally, it just means she is telling you she is scared. It’s been over six years but I still get an occasional hiss from my girl if I move too quickly or get too close to her. I would suggest you hold off on the companion cat since it may stress her even more.

 

[danteshuman]

Have you tried baby food yet? If not please try it & if you can one of those extending trainer spoons. Buy any meat only baby food (chicken or beef) and put some on a spoon then offer it an inch from her hiding spot. Every time she moves an inch she gets a couple of licks. Be sure to do the slow blink with her.

My 2 cents she is sounding more & more like a semi-feral to me. I would give her 1 room with 1 cardboard box on it's side with a towel over it hiding spot, blocking off all other hiding spots. Then I would proceed to work on taming her like a feral ..... or be super evil and adopt a well socialized lovable kitten to love on...... hoping she will someday learn to snuggle from the kitten. Ignore her if she is in her spot, reward her with food for leaving her spot & talk to her a lot by doing things like reading out loud. Practice your fake puurr & slow blink. Sometimes you have to speak cat to let a scared cat you don't mean them any harm.

 

[maggie101]

I just want to update this thread and ask for more advice...
Leila has now been with us for 2 months! She found a new hiding spot where she can spy on us from so she's been coming out more in the day time. She is still utterly terrified of my fiancé and I though. I'm nervous because she expresses aggressive behaviors at times. In the morning, she yowls and I know she's ready to eat. But when I go to get her food bowl, she'll often start hissing and spitting at me, even if I go slow and with my back turned

I was talking softly to her before, but now she just yowls and hisses at me when I do it. Like really long, really sad yowls I don't really know what to do to let her know that we are not threatening her...
We're currently looking into adopting an outgoing friend but we may choose not to do that based on cost/potential apartment finding in the future.
She's still a total creep and stands right next to my bed and stares at me while I sleep hahaha I don't know if I'll get used to that but it does make me happy because it's the only time she's willing to come near me
EDIT: Also, Leila is NOT interested in playing with toys at all and I'm worried that she's bored and lonely. I put some beanie babies on her cat tree and she'll bat those around, but she doesn't respond to catnip, a laser pointer (she knows it's me) or fishing rod type toys. Is there something else I can try? Or is it normal to be uninterested in playing? She just sleeps and stares at us all day and night, I can't imagine that to be fulfilling for her...

My cat would hide under the couch for 3 months. Now she will not leave my bedroom. Still very affectionate and playful. It's been over a year. I wrote a long story about her in my profile under information. I have 3 other cats. She is still afraid of one. The most noise she makes is right after she empties her bowl. Constantly licking her lips real fast and meowing at the same time,mouth closed

 

[maggie101]

My cat Peaches mostly likes to watch. Sometimes bat a toy around or I throw a toy and she runs after it and lands in a pile of shipping trash. Maggie runs around on her own and loves wand toys. She likes chasing after wand toys on the ground and runs in and out of cubes. CoCo, my scaredy cat likes any toy. She likes air prey, Maggie and Peaches ground prey on the wands. I also brush CoCo for a long time. She chose on her own time to no longer hide under my couch and moved to my bedroom. I removed the box springs and head board so she can't get under the bed. Now she sleeps on my bed. When I go to bed she gets real excited and jumps in a circle meowing. She sleeps on baby blankets. She has been on trauma,scaredy cat, and self esteem spirit of essence

 

[maggie101]

By the way, georgeous cat. Love her colors. Looks similar to CoCo's mom except that she also had spots and stripes.

 

[susanm9006]

One other thing about your girl. The long yowls come with her breed, they just sort of whine and talk a lot. She could be complaining to you or telling you not to get too close. When she talks to you I would talk back, even if she hisses.

One toy I thought of that might work for her is a mechanical laser toy. You turn it on and it projects a laser light on the floor in a circular pattern. That way you don’t need to be near the toy and she might be more interested in it. Also, if she likes food, hide some cat treats, like dried chicken or fish, under plastic cup throughout your living space and she gets the fun of hunting them down, tipping the cups and eating the treat. My semi feral, who will not eat a treat given directly to her, because she thinks it is a ruse to grab her, absolutely loves this game.

 

[Elizapril]

Thank you all for your responses, Leila has made a lot of progress
I did want to ask one more thing though! She's currently in heat (and yes, I know I have to get her fixed!! I was just scared of making her even more uncomfortable before trusting us!) This morning I woke up and she's yowling LOUD. It's not abnormal, she's usually telling me she's hungry. But then she gets close to me and all of a sudden, she's letting me pet her and she's rubbing up against me and rolling over!!!!!! I called my fiancé out of the bedroom and we were both just astonished! I know heat can make kitties veryyyyy affectionate but I was wondering if you all thought that this experience would make her more sociable and affectionate after her heat? She did scratch me A LOT. It's like she was enjoying the rubs and out of nowhere she'd thing "oh no what am I doing?!" and scratch me. It wasn't "I want to kill you" scratches but more "I'm warning you" ones. I'm just so over the moon about this and I really hope she is actually finally starting to trust me and not just being nice because of her heat!
ONE LAST THING, I'm not 100% that she's even going through heat, I'm only speculating. We got her @6mos and she hadnt had a heat yet and now she's almost 9 months so the timing seems right. The yowling does come with the breed, as someone previously mentioned! So I don't even know

 

[susanm9006]

Sounds like she is in heat. Call your vet and get her in for her spay ASAP. Cats in heat are uncomfortable and she will do everything she can to get to a male.

 

[danteshuman]

Ack she is heat!?!?!!? For her safety please lock her in your room or bathroom until she is spayed. That way you have 2 doors between her & the outside. She will try to dart right by you as you enter/leave.

 

[Elizapril]

Sounds like she is in heat. Call your vet and get her in for her spay ASAP. Cats in heat are uncomfortable and she will do everything she can to get to a male.

Thank you for the advice! However, vets will not spay a cat that is in heat. I am doing everything to make her as comfortable as possible and I have made sure all doors and windows are locked. There are three doors before she could get outside, someone mentioned her possibly darting as well! But this was more a question about behavior. Trust me, I hear from everyone all the time that she needs to be spayed.

 

[susanm9006]

Never heard that before but she will be out of heat in around a week so why not get the appointment made. If you wait longer she could be back in heat.