Does my cat not like me?

[huxleysmom]

I have a real question here: does my cat not like me? She is not the affectionate kind. More independent than anything and most likely was not raised by her mama, so she plays rough and easily scratches and nips. She most often keeps herself to herself and even if she likes to be where I am and follows me around, she never climbs on my lap. She will only come to her bed next to me or at night she sometimes sleeps at the foot of the bed and comes and wakes me when she wants to be petted (only at night).
i am away for a couple of weeks and asked a cat sitter to come stay at my place for a few days as I hate leaving her alone for so long (she has someone feeding her twice a day the rest of the time). He arrived today to take care of her and within 10 minutes I got this picture. Now I know what you are going to say: she’s been alone for a few days and wants affection. The thing is she happily ignored the last 2 sitters who were with her until now and only came to them if they had a treat, which is the only way for me to get her on my lap (she’ll eat her treat and jump off the second she is done). It’s the second time Jordan comes to stay with her and it’s the same thing each time. She is glued to him the entire time. Is she secretly a lap cat who doesn’t like me for some reason? Does she only like men? If either of these things are right, Is she happy with me? Her behavior is so different with me and with him that I seriously wonder about this.

 

[MissClouseau]

It sounds like she like this catsitter but based on how she interacts with you, it doesn't sound like she dislikes you at all. They don't show their affection the same way to everyone though. And a lot of times physical things like sitting on lap, lying next to you, cetc sounds a lot more about other things and not love. For example, I'm sure my cat loves me but it took her over a year to lie on my lap and I figured it's because I'm too skinny. So I was simply not comfortable to be a bed hehe. One of my cousins who has two cats, she's a fast-acting person (I couldn't think of a better word.) Like quite often she stands up fast, she sits down fast, she moves her arms when she's telling a story. That scares or at least gets "too much" for some cats and they stay physically away from her but it's not about love at all. They are roaming cats, they still come back to her and shows their affection in other ways.

 

[huxleysmom]

Sounds like I might be doing something she doesn’t like then. Wish she could talk and tell me what it is! Though a friend of mine once said to me: if cats could talk, they probably wouldn’t. Lol

 

[di and bob]

Females especially tend to be a little more standoffish. It may truly be that she likes men, I have a little female here that prefers to sit on my husband's lap and not mine. She may sense something about this guy that she really likes. It may be that you are a little too fast in your movements, I know some cats back off from people like that. It doesn't sound like she doesn't like you at all. She would not follow you around or sleep at the foot of the bed. My little one was a lot like yours with me, I went out of my way for months to talk baby talk to her, stroking her everytime I went by, and giving her treats. She is much more receptive to being around me now, but still prefers men. I would just love her for who she is, independent and sassy. There are many cats like her and many people like them that way. And if you want a snuggler, go for a boy. He would keep her entertained and give you the attention you want!

 

[huxleysmom]

It’s taken me a while to like her for who she is and accept her like that. I had a boy before, Huxley, who was the biggest mush and lived on my lap so it was a hard transition for sure especially as I was looking for another cuddle buddy. She has a lot of qualities though and I certainly am not looking to re-home her because she’s not a lap cat. I’m just genuinely concerned that she’s not happy with me. As far as getting another cuddly one, she’d eat him alive and I live in a small studio so that wouldn’t work.

Females especially tend to be a little more standoffish. It may truly be that she likes men, I have a little female here that prefers to sit on my husband's lap and not mine. She may sense something about this guy that she really likes. It may be that you are a little too fast in your movements, I know some cats back off from people like that. It doesn't sound like she doesn't like you at all. She would not follow you around or sleep at the foot of the bed. My little one was a lot like yours with me, I went out of my way for months to talk baby talk to her, stroking her everytime I went by, and giving her treats. She is much more receptive to being around me now, but still prefers men. I would just love her for who she is, independent and sassy. There are many cats like her and many people like them that way. And if you want a snuggler, go for a boy. He would keep her entertained and give you the attention you want!

 

[MissClouseau]

Sounds like I might be doing something she doesn’t like then. Wish she could talk and tell me what it is! Though a friend of mine once said to me: if cats could talk, they probably wouldn’t. Lol

Haha. Not necessarily something you do, maybe what the cat sitter has that you don’t. It could be something like he has a higher body temperature that attracted her.

 

[di and bob]

My soulmate, Chrissy, sounds an awful lot like your little girl. She acted as if she tolerated me. She had overstimulation syndrom and bit/scratched anyone who gave her more than her allowed two strokes. Many people to this day have scars for not believing me. I admired her sassiness and 'attitude' though, my husband said she was a lot like me. She followed me wherever I went too. We used to sing a song to her all the time.... "I LOVE my Chrissy, she's a kinda b#@!!&y." ( Insert name for female dog here with a Y) I would give anything to hold her, against her will of course, one more time. You gotta love them as long as you can....time goes by faster than you think.

 

[huxleysmom]

Hahaha. I joke that she is a lot like me too! In many ways, she truly is. I wonder about the overstimulation syndrome. I think it might be one thing she doesn’t like about me is that I always try to pet her when she would most likely prefer to be there next or on me and not be touched. She so darn adorable, I can’t help myself! Lol
I call her Lady Mary like in Downton Abbey because she was such a little b$&@! Hahah

My soulmate, Chrissy, sounds an awful lot like your little girl. She acted as if she tolerated me. She had overstimulation syndrom and bit/scratched anyone who gave her more than her allowed two strokes. Many people to this day have scars for not believing me. I admired her sassiness and 'attitude' though, my husband said she was a lot like me. She followed me wherever I went too. We used to sing a song to her all the time.... "I LOVE my Chrissy, she's a kinda b#@!!&y." ( Insert name for female dog here with a Y) I would give anything to hold her, against her will of course, one more time. You gotta love them as long as you can....time goes by faster than you think.

 

[di and bob]

What a perfect name! Just talk to her. She loves you the best she can, even when you force attention on to her highness.....i'm sure there are lots of people who think I am prickly too. I am just too old now to care! Life is too short to spend with people who don't like me, I know my cats are always there for me, they don't care how I act as long as I feed them and give them a heated pad to lay on. I always have a parade following me when I do housework, I think they are bored.....

 

[Pjg8r]

Have you asked the sitter how he gets her on his lap? Does he talk to her or sit in a different location? I have one that climbs on my sitter immediately but usually sits next to me or on the foot extension of my recliner.

 

[susanm9006]

If a cat follows you from room to room, sleeps on your bed, and even occasionally lets you pet her, they love you. Your presence makes them feel safe and loved and you are the most important thing in their world even if they aren’t very demonstrative in showing it. That doesn’t mean though that they can’t be smitten by a good smelling stranger who may have offered them something delicious. If my cat took to a cat sitter like that I would be absolutely delighted and would make him my #1 choice to call in the future.

 

[Katie M]

She sounds exactly like my Charlie. Not raised by his mother, tends to play rough. He occasionally loses control and attacks my legs. He's mellowed out in the three years I've had him, though. He begs for pets and cuddles with me more frequently.

I think your girl loves you. A cat who doesn't like you won't hang around you. Maybe, given enough time, she'll turn out like Charlie has.

 

[vince]

Dear Huxley's mom:

I have one like yours. She seems to have been brought up like yours and exhibits the same kind of behaviors. I'm certain she likes me, although she doesn't show it as much as my other cats. I think yours likes you, too.

I have had my crabby little "orange meanie" for about 15 months, and she has finally started coming for short lap visits and will tolerate more handling. Your situation may improve with time, like mine did.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. I agree with the others - on all counts. A few things come to mind (one of which was mentioned previously). Find out what your cat sitter does and does not do around your girl - and mimic some of that behavior. You probably don't want to wear his cologne, but maybe see if there is a lotion or shampoo that he uses you could try to see if she might be attracted to it (but, you could try his cologne too, just as a test).

And, pay close attention to your hand/body movements, maybe even your voice (volume, tone) - there might be some things you do that causes her to stay a bit away from you that you could 're-train' yourself on. I thought about this last one because she seems to want to be closer to you while you are in bed/sleeping. You can also compare some of the cat sitter's movements/demeanor to yours and see if you can notice differences.

If none of this makes any difference, just know she still loves you given her desire to be near you, even if not 'on top' of you!!

And, just in case this might give you some ideas -
14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me – Cat Articles

 

[jefferd18]

Are you trying too hard and he is trying too little? In other words, more often than not, cats will do just the opposite of what you want them to do.

I had a male kitten who would wait until I turned the light off in my bedroom before he would come near me. After five minutes in the darkness I would feel his little feet walking across my sheet, to my chest, where he would curl up for the night. It took a good year of pets before I could elicit a purr out of him. Even with the success of those baby steps, he still wouldn't sit on my lap or let me hold him- ever. He always preferred to sit right next to me, as close as he could get.

 

[huxleysmom]

I think you are on to something here. The me trying too hard. I probably bug her by wanting to pet her and have affection from her when she doesn’t want it. I started to ask myself that when she started to sleep with me at night. It’s the only time I do not move and cannot bug her. I might try to just do nothing when I get home. Let her be and see what happens. It’s hard though... she is SO cuddly looking! Lol

Are you trying too hard and he is trying too little? In other words, more often than not, cats will do just the opposite of what you want them to do.

I had a male kitten who would wait until I turned the light off in my bedroom before he would come near me. After five minutes in the darkness I would feel his little feet walking across my sheet, to my chest, where he would curl up for the night. It took a good year of pets before I could elicit a purr out of him. Even with the success of those baby steps, he still wouldn't sit on my lap or let me hold him- ever. He always preferred to sit right next to me, as close as he could get.

 

[huxleysmom]

Last time I asked him, he said nothing special. I’ll ask him again, but maybe that’s where the secret is. He does nothing and I’m just in her face.

Hi. I agree with the others - on all counts. A few things come to mind (one of which was mentioned previously). Find out what your cat sitter does and does not do around your girl - and mimic some of that behavior. You probably don't want to wear his cologne, but maybe see if there is a lotion or shampoo that he uses you could try to see if she might be attracted to it (but, you could try his cologne too, just as a test).

And, pay close attention to your hand/body movements, maybe even your voice (volume, tone) - there might be some things you do that causes her to stay a bit away from you that you could 're-train' yourself on. I thought about this last one because she seems to want to be closer to you while you are in bed/sleeping. You can also compare some of the cat sitter's movements/demeanor to yours and see if you can notice differences.

If none of this makes any difference, just know she still loves you given her desire to be near you, even if not 'on top' of you!!

And, just in case this might give you some ideas -
14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me – Cat Articles

 

[FeebysOwner]

Last time I asked him, he said nothing special. I’ll ask him again, but maybe that’s where the secret is. He does nothing and I’m just in her face.

And, that just might be your answer!!!!

 

[huxleysmom]

She is getting better. She nips less and has only been staying in bed with me at night for the last 2 or 3 months. I think patience will be the key here. I was just a tad jealous when I saw that it was so easy for him! I had cat envy! Lol

Dear Huxley's mom:

I have one like yours. She seems to have been brought up like yours and exhibits the same kind of behaviors. I'm certain she likes me, although she doesn't show it as much as my other cats. I think yours likes you, too.

I have had my crabby little "orange meanie" for about 15 months, and she has finally started coming for short lap visits and will tolerate more handling. Your situation may improve with time, like mine did.

 

[huxleysmom]

He is my favorite sitter to call when I go away for a while and don’t want her to be alone too long. He stays with her 4 days. To say that she is spoiled is an understatement lol.i am happy that she clearly loves him and given how picky she is, I know it means he takes good care of her and I can trust him. I’m just a smidge jealous! Lol

If a cat follows you from room to room, sleeps on your bed, and even occasionally lets you pet her, they love you. Your presence makes them feel safe and loved and you are the most important thing in their world even if they aren’t very demonstrative in showing it. That doesn’t mean though that they can’t be smitten by a good smelling stranger who may have offered them something delicious. If my cat took to a cat sitter like that I would be absolutely delighted and would make him my #1 choice to call in the future.