Does My Cat Need A Companion?

[Catnapper2965]

Hello all!

I'm in need of some advice. I have a spayed female 4 yr old cat that I found when she was only a few days old. She was bottle fed and when the time came she was introduced to our older neutered Male cat who is very laid back and mainly known as lazy. Both have always been outdoor cats. They had a love/hate relationship. They would sleep on the same large bed together but not touching and she would occasionally let him groom her head. They would lightly play which almost always turned into chasing and swatting, ending with her growling and hissing - she is pretty dramatic and temperamental. It's almost like she doesnt truly know how to interact with other cats, she wants to and is very playful with humans but when other cats play and may playfully 'tag' her her whole demeanor changes. With that said, unfortunately a few weeks ago her little friend went missing, we've looked everywhere for him and sadly he is no where to be found. She seemed very depressed and has craved attention from my husband and I, something she has never done. She will even meow and meow and scratch at the door until we come out to brush and pet her. When we still had the 2 cats you couldnt pet her for more than a few seconds, and forget brushing her, she hardly purred as well. Now its like a 360, I can pet and brush her and she never gets moody or mad. She will even purr to the point of slightly drooling at times. Her personality has completely changed but I'm concerned about her being lonely. If we go out of town and when we come back she is begging at the door for us and early in the mornings and late at night sometimes. She seems to sleep a lot more than she ever has but still seems to be playful out in the yard and she brought us a 'gift' yesterday, that's something she has never done before. My question is, should I let her be the one and only cat or should we get another one for her companion? Shes a tough one to figure out and I don't know what to do, any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

 

[susanm9006]

Since she had difficulty living with your other cat, even though she was introduced to him as a kitten, I would suspect she will be much happier to remain as single cat. It might take her a bit of time to adjust but in the long range it would be the best option.

If you do decide to add a second cat be sure you get one from a shelter that allows for trial periods and the option to return the cat. I would also say you girl will need a very long, slow introduction period.

 

[verna davies]

In your position I would wait a while longer. It can take a cat a few months to adjust to being on his/her own. As they appeared to be friendly but not best friends, maybe she likes having you and your husband to herself.

 

[danteshuman]

Hmmmmm it may just be she was around the wrong cat? Just like people, we like some people and others grate on our nerves! My bud Dante (R.I.P.) annoyed the stuffings out of my calm mellow cat Salem. They were frenemies (but when he died Salem got depressed.) Weirdly enough Dante loved my mom’s reformed feral Chester. Both those boys loved rough play and were high energy. I have seen cats in multi-cat households pick their best friends and others they just co-exist with. Even if your cats just tolerate each other, having multiple cats allows them to have company from the same species.

I would suggest building a catio and only allowing her outside that way so no more of your cats die/disappear. That said a neutered male teen with a similar personality for a foster to adopt deal. Be sure to read our article on proper cat introductions!

 

[ArtNJ]

It is awkward when an indoor/outdoor cat doesn't like the new cat. They tend to not want to come in, and it's distressing for the human. If you force the indoor/outdoor to stay in to adjust to the new cat, it can add to the stress, makes for a hard adjustment.

I'm not sure *any* cat *needs* a new kitten. But an indoor/outdoor with a history of not getting along that great with other cats will *not* likely appreciate it. Anything is possible, but stress and unhappyness is more likely than a good outcome.

 

[danteshuman]

That is true ArtNJ. I would get her used to being indoors with a catio first and then 6 months later get a kitten. It was why I suggested foster to adopt to make sure that she likes the new cat. Also a 4-6 month old might be the perfect age to foster to adopt.

Our reformed feral hung outside for most of the day until the kittens were better behaved at 4 months and became friendly to them/sought them at 5 months. He has a buddy that lives a couple houses down that he hangs out with. So even if you do not adopt, maybe someday she will make friends outside?

 

[Catnapper2965]

Since she had difficulty living with your other cat, even though she was introduced to him as a kitten, I would suspect she will be much happier to remain as single cat. It might take her a bit of time to adjust but in the long range it would be the best option.

If you do decide to add a second cat be sure you get one from a shelter that allows for trial periods and the option to return the cat. I would also say you girl will need a very long, slow introduction period.

Yes, I definitely will consider the option to have a trial period because I would want both to be happy.

 

[Catnapper2965]

In your position I would wait a while longer. It can take a cat a few months to adjust to being on his/her own. As they appeared to be friendly but not best friends, maybe she likes having you and your husband to herself.

She does seem to want to mingle with us more than ever. I'm just concerned with the door scratching and meowing, like she is lonely we have a super small home and already have a dog in the house so there is no way she could stay in. We do let her in occasionally to hang out with us and nap a while.

 

[Catnapper2965]

Hmmmmm it may just be she was around the wrong cat? Just like people, we like some people and others grate on our nerves! My bud Dante (R.I.P.) annoyed the stuffings out of my calm mellow cat Salem. They were frenemies (but when he died Salem got depressed.) Weirdly enough Dante loved my mom’s reformed feral Chester. Both those boys loved rough play and were high energy. I have seen cats in multi-cat households pick their best friends and others they just co-exist with. Even if your cats just tolerate each other, having multiple cats allows them to have company from the same species.

I would suggest building a catio and only allowing her outside that way so no more of your cats die/disappear. That said a neutered male teen with a similar personality for a foster to adopt deal. Be sure to read our article on proper cat introductions!

That's a valid point, maybe he just wasnt the best personality type for her. Unfortunately we have no way to build a catio plus she loves being outside, watching the squirrels and patrolling the bird feeders. We have a super small home and already have a dog inside so there is no way she could stay in. We do let her in occasionally to hang out with us and nap a while.

 

[Catnapper2965]

It is awkward when an indoor/outdoor cat doesn't like the new cat. They tend to not want to come in, and it's distressing for the human. If you force the indoor/outdoor to stay in to adjust to the new cat, it can add to the stress, makes for a hard adjustment.

I'm not sure *any* cat *needs* a new kitten. But an indoor/outdoor with a history of not getting along that great with other cats will *not* likely appreciate it. Anything is possible, but stress and unhappyness is more likely than a good outcome.

Actually a kitten wouldnt be our first choice, of we were to get another one. We would prob be looking for one no younger than a year and maybe even older, just would depend on the personality. I may wait a while longer and see if she settles in being the only cat

 

[ArtNJ]

Actually a kitten wouldnt be our first choice, of we were to get another one. We would prob be looking for one no younger than a year and maybe even older, just would depend on the personality. I may wait a while longer and see if she settles in being the only cat

Well, yes, it is very helpful if you match personalities. But unless you are getting from a home and the cat has had recent introductions in that home, the intell you will get will not be completely reliable. You want the new cat to be as chill and accepting of other cats as possible, but what I said remains true. If the current cat isn't thrilled, it will not want to come back in. Makes introductions harder. You can confine inside for a bit, but that adds to stress.

 

[Catnapper2965]

Thanks everyone for your input! I think we have decided to let her be the only cat for the time being as she seems to be slowly adjusting and happier than ever overall towards my husband and I. In the meantime does anyone know of a guard protector for outside an exterior door frame? She is wearing out our door.

 

[Catnapper2965]

Sorry about sideways pic. Dont mind the lovely trim work, we are remodeling as well as about to repaint the exterior of the house