Tonight, amongst the excitement of a 4 year old racing round like he was on something, we had to erect the tree and get out all the deccies and out them up.
The tree lights are on, the inside of the lounge looks like a runway at Heathrow with lights. Tinsel adores the tree and it all looks - well very christmassy.
carol gave me a few scotches to take the edge off the night as somehow, I find christmas very hard to cope with. I have been like it for a number of years - possibly since my parents split up when I was 12. Now 34.
I have to look thrilled and excited for Christopher and I do enjoy it for him, but I just feel so down with it all. My parents split at xmas as a kid and I never really got over it - pathetic as it is.
I have feigned more migraines as a kid and adult so that I dont have to partake too much but can sit and let everyone get on with it. we have Carols father and his girfriend the whole of xmas day, then boxing day sees us at her mothers.
I wont see my mother as some of you know shes no interest in me.
I feel bad as its the first time i have not had an xmas with my stepfather following his death in August - same day as Vicki. Then the loss of my mate in the last couple of weeks - christmas just seems too much to take and I know I wont be that much in any form of spirit for it.
I guess i will take two anti depressants on xmas day and boxing day to survive it and wait for it all to be over with and I can start the car back home.
Will miss my parents this year, will miss Vicki a heck of a lot and Mike and my stepfather
, Clive. So is it just me - or does anyone else struggle with christmas and if so, how does one cope with it.
I desperately want this one to be our last over in the UK - but then again, I figure I will be on here both days looking for a chat.
Thanks for listening anyway.
Kev
The tree lights are on, the inside of the lounge looks like a runway at Heathrow with lights. Tinsel adores the tree and it all looks - well very christmassy.
carol gave me a few scotches to take the edge off the night as somehow, I find christmas very hard to cope with. I have been like it for a number of years - possibly since my parents split up when I was 12. Now 34.
I have to look thrilled and excited for Christopher and I do enjoy it for him, but I just feel so down with it all. My parents split at xmas as a kid and I never really got over it - pathetic as it is.
I have feigned more migraines as a kid and adult so that I dont have to partake too much but can sit and let everyone get on with it. we have Carols father and his girfriend the whole of xmas day, then boxing day sees us at her mothers.
I wont see my mother as some of you know shes no interest in me.
I feel bad as its the first time i have not had an xmas with my stepfather following his death in August - same day as Vicki. Then the loss of my mate in the last couple of weeks - christmas just seems too much to take and I know I wont be that much in any form of spirit for it.
I guess i will take two anti depressants on xmas day and boxing day to survive it and wait for it all to be over with and I can start the car back home.
Will miss my parents this year, will miss Vicki a heck of a lot and Mike and my stepfather
, Clive. So is it just me - or does anyone else struggle with christmas and if so, how does one cope with it.
I desperately want this one to be our last over in the UK - but then again, I figure I will be on here both days looking for a chat.
Thanks for listening anyway.
Kev