Good afternoon all!
I'm posting this thread partly for a bit of advice in dealing with grief, and partly to do just that by talking it through.
We lost our precious boy Philip a year ago (suddenly at 3 years old, to a bladder blockage and subsequent organ failure and blood poisoning) and today marks the day we got his little protégé Percy. We didn't wait long to commit to a new cat as we didn't want Elizabeth to get too used to being the only cat (she's quite territorial) so there was only 2-3 weeks between putting Philip down and getting Percy.
I adore Percy with all my heart and he's so incredibly loved but still, a year on, I find myself looking at him and crying on occasion because of the circumstances that he's in our life. I wouldn't change us having him, at all, but I feel a little bit guilty that I am still wishing we didn't have to get him, that it was ever a choice we had to make.
I always felt like I had a deep connection with Philip. I've suffered from some seasonal and situational depression and whenever it would hit, my husband would bring me Philip and he'd sit and let me cry on him, and Percy just simply isn't that cat, which is absolutely fine. He has his own qualities, he's playful and fun and cheeky and loving, but I feel as though I've lost that deep connection that I had.
Has anyone had to deal with conflicting feelings of guilt over not having the same relationship with a new cat after a loss? And how did you deal with it?
I'm posting this thread partly for a bit of advice in dealing with grief, and partly to do just that by talking it through.
We lost our precious boy Philip a year ago (suddenly at 3 years old, to a bladder blockage and subsequent organ failure and blood poisoning) and today marks the day we got his little protégé Percy. We didn't wait long to commit to a new cat as we didn't want Elizabeth to get too used to being the only cat (she's quite territorial) so there was only 2-3 weeks between putting Philip down and getting Percy.
I adore Percy with all my heart and he's so incredibly loved but still, a year on, I find myself looking at him and crying on occasion because of the circumstances that he's in our life. I wouldn't change us having him, at all, but I feel a little bit guilty that I am still wishing we didn't have to get him, that it was ever a choice we had to make.
I always felt like I had a deep connection with Philip. I've suffered from some seasonal and situational depression and whenever it would hit, my husband would bring me Philip and he'd sit and let me cry on him, and Percy just simply isn't that cat, which is absolutely fine. He has his own qualities, he's playful and fun and cheeky and loving, but I feel as though I've lost that deep connection that I had.
Has anyone had to deal with conflicting feelings of guilt over not having the same relationship with a new cat after a loss? And how did you deal with it?