Could Use Some Advice On Two Foster Cats Slow To Accepting Touch

[vervainandrue]

Hi, I have had two beautiful foster boy cats for 6 months. They were brought to a kill shelter along with 7 of their siblings by the owner because he "had to many cats" (if he dropped off 9, how many did he have in total?) These boys were well fed but terrified. Hid in the corner and hissed for months. Slowly began coming out after about 2 months. I moved them to my foster room witch has a few other adults and several kittens, which was the best thing I could have done. They adore other cats and love to care for the kittens. They now are out and about, climb cat trees, chase feather wands, play with the other battery operated toys I splurge on, come out when strangers are around, eat treats out of my hands and sometimes even strangers' hands....but they will not let me touch them. When I go in for a gentle pet they dodge my hand and run away. They will be back in a minute, but same thing. When I extend my knuckle for them to pet me, they simply don't. They don't quite have the "abused cat flinch," ie a fear response to an outstretched hand, they just act like they have no idea what I'm doing and want no part of it.
A fostering colleague introduced the term "house feral" to me to describe domesticated cats that didn't get enough socialization in their lives even though they live in house. Is anyone familiar with this concept? They have come a long way in 6 months, but these beautiful boys are never going to leave my foster room and get a forever home until they can be handled. I'm considering clicker training, but I need to learn about it. Does anyone have any suggestions? I don't work so I spend a lot of time with my fosters. I play with them a ton and they have a nice big space full of cat trees, toys, and nooks and crannies to hide. They seem pretty happy on the foster floor and are adorable daddies to the kittens (and the snuggle with the other fosters even though they are intensely bonded.) Does anyone have any suggestions, or can offer some stories of support about similar cats they might have dealt with? Thanks!

 

[verna davies]

I don't know if it will work with your scenario but try rubbing catnip on your hands.

 

[Sarthur2]

Not every cat is a lap cat. I took in a pregnant stray a couple of years ago who had 4 kittens. I kept everyone, so all kittens have always known me.

All were handled and played with equally. Of the 4, one is very shy. He will walk across my lap, but will not lie on it. He will sit next to me on the couch, or lie next to me in bed, but not on me. He runs away or cries if I try to pick him up. Handling needs to be on his terms only - when he wants to come to me - and that's okay.

Your boys sound like they are adjusting very nicely, but need more time. They may never feel comfortable being petted unless it is on their terms.

When they get rehomed, they will go through an adjustment all over again to the new environment and new person (people).

Do you plan to rehome the two boys together? They sound bonded.

I would make it clear about their background and temperament, and that they may never be lap cats. Not everyone wants a lap cat.

Thank you for all that you do to save cats and kittens!

 

[kittychick]

First of all - bless you for committing to work with these boys for such an extended foster period!!! Sarthur2 is right - - many cats aren't lap cats (we JUST now have our first lap cat -- after having around 19 other cats throughout my life - - and interestingly, this little girl was a TNR feral - we TNR'd her so we know that she was as feral as they come ---but now she's thrilled beyond belief to sit on our laps). And there are definitely people out there who don't mind at all that kitties they adopt aren't lap cats. And yes, at a shelter, cats who just dig being picked up & carried, and love to climb & sleep on laps generally are the easiest to adopt.

But your guys sound absolutely wonderful - with the only "flaw" (which isn't a flaw at all) is that they're not wild about being picked up or sitting on laps. But otherwise it sounds like they exhibit every single wonderful outgoing & fun behavior most adopters are looking for! We've had fosters adopted who never even came out from under the bed!!!!! (This was long ago, before I learned to take the bed off the frame & put it directly on the floor!). And I have heard the "house feral" term--but only in conjunction with extreme conditions like cats brought up in homes with hoarders -where the cats had NO human interaction for years. And trying to socialize them later is SO hard that you're lucky if they'll even enter a room when you're there - they just live in constant fear. It sounds like luckily, your boys are far from that!!!

I think they sound like wonderful loving boys -- who, at this point, just don't particularly want to be held. As I said - we've found homes for fosters far more "people scared" (despite months of socializing). Your guys sound like a hoot! When advertising for homes for them, emphasize the wonderful ways they DO interact and play with you - AND other cats- which many folks would very much appreciate!!! If you're putting them online through a reliable site/source - you might even include videos of the funny boys they are. They sound VEEY adoptable. And I truly think they'll find homes!!!

 

[vervainandrue]

Thanks everyone, for your kind advice. I think I just need to give them endless time and not get impatient, especially because they are improving in other ways. Today I had two young kids at my house playing with the kittens, and both Dennie and Domino ate treats out of their hands. They wouldn't have done that 3 months ago. I never expect them to be lap cats, but I think they can be more than they are now.

I"d be more resigned in accepting they are more "shadow cats" except that I feel like they do want to connect. They are generally sweet little beings. They are out and about most of the time, and will sit 3 feet away from me. They pay attention to us when we talk to them, and they really look at us. (Dennie, in fact, peers down to the very depth of my soul. It's kinda creepy). I think that they just don't understand how great it is got be physically loved by a human.

I've attached a photo of Domino and Dennie "babysitting" a couple of kitties. It's not the best pic, but I think it conveys how gentle these pantherbeasts really are.

 

[verna davies]

What a lovely photo. They all look quite at home. I hope they get to realise how lucky they are. Keep us posted on your progress

 

[vervainandrue]

I was going through my posts and found this. The update is sad: Dennie died very unexpectedly. The cats in the foster room had URI's and he wasn't sicker than anyone else, but I found him dead by the water fountain. He was only 3 years old. I'm heartbroken, and so is his brother Domino. Luckily Domino has a girlfriend, another long-term foster who is very snuggly. Domino follows her around to the point that sometimes she whups him upside the head to give her some space. I think he clings to her because he misses his brother. Domino still won't let us get more than a pet or two in before he runs, so I'm not sure he's ever going to change. Time will tell.

 

[verna davies]

That is sad news, poor Dennie. I'm glad Domino has a girlfriend to keep him company.