Coping With Loss Of Newborn Kittens

[laurenfosters]

I have been fostering my first ever pregnant mom for the past month, who one week ago today (Sunday the 7th) gave birth to 5 beautiful kittens. Things started off well - the birth had no complications and the babies were nursing and gaining weight - until this past Thursday. I noticed an inflamed paw on one of the kittens and took him to my vet the very next morning. By then it was too late as the infection had spread and he had to be put to sleep. Today I awoke and noticed a far less advanced version of the same thing in another kitten - a bloated/enlarged paw. She had also lost weight and was not nursing. I rushed the whole litter to an ER vet and tonight she passed away of her infection. The vet did everything they could but she was just not strong enough to fight it.

This is my first experience raising kittens from birth and it has been so intensely painful and difficult. My heart feels like it's shattering to pieces. How do you cope with knowing that a baby died, in pain, before they could even open their eyes and see their mother, their siblings, or the world? I am not coping well and I suppose I'm just looking for comfort from people who have gone through this.

This is Sesame, who passed on January 11

And Chia, who passed earlier this evening, January 14

Thank you for reading.

 

[Mochicat]

Hello! Thank you for helping out this Mommy cat and her litter with all your love! I know it may be hard on you right now, the feelings that you’re experiencing are probably very hard and i’m sorry that you have to go through this. Please know that you tried your best to save them, it’s not something you could’ve predicted or expected so please don’t be so hard on yourself! You really tried your hardest. The kittens are resting peacefully now, i’m sure theyre grateful for what you did for them. You’re a good mom, don’t be too hard on yourself. Allow yourself to mourn, but please know that you have the rest of the litter and mom to push forward... best of luck!

 

[di and bob]

Please know that there was nothing that could have predicted, or prevented, something like this from happening. It has to be a rare occurrence. You did all you could, you even rushed them in right away because you knew what to look for and caught it early, but sometimes no matter what we do it is not enough to change fate. I'm so very sorry for your pain, I want you to know this most likely would never happen again, I have wild mothers that give birth alone and raise the kittens with no help at all, so I really think what happened to those kittens was passed on while the mother carried them, before she even came to you. Remember, she had to be fostered, and it must have been very hard for her in the beginning. Please don't feel guilt where there was no intention of harm. Did the vet say what it was? When you feel a little stronger I would ask to know what it was and if it can be prevented in the future.
We have buried many of those tiny little angels.No one knows the anguish of losing one of these precious babies after trying so hard to save them, only those who have been there. But life is fragile, especially new life, I have learned you have to concentrate on the ones left behind in this world, they are the ones who need us.
Sesame and Chia are at peace now. Even though they lost their fight before they truly began to live, they were here long enough to know love, to feel your concern and that you were there for them when they needed you. There tiny souls will always be tied to yours now, the love will never stop. But you can't allow the sadness to stop you from trying to help others. And there are so many..... There are many times when I said I couldn't go on, that I can't take any more pain, that my heart is too shattered to break any more, and you know what? Another comes along, another little soul that needs you so much, and has no one else at all. They FORCE you to get back to living, to hear that call of wanting to help, to shove the sadness to the side for a while, believe me it will always be there to examine, and to help you piece your heart back together with their love and gratitude. You have to allow the love and taking care of them to bring a distraction from your grief. The happiness and absolute joy they bring you will fill you up and push out the grief.
Failures are meant to bring about change, I have learned from every one of the deaths that weigh upon my soul. By failure, I mean meeting a predictable outcome that didn't happen. There are some things that are beyond anyone's control, no matter how much we want it to different. But you didn't fail at all in loving them, at grieving for the loss, at giving them the time they did have and knowing what love was about. You gave them the world, and they thank you for it. They would never want you to be sad because of them. Just as you would want only a future full of happiness left for them if you were the first to go. You did absolutely nothing wrong, you did everything right. You loved them.
Take care of yourself and those left behind that need you. My heart breaks for what you are going through, I know it too well. You will be blessed for choosing to foster, it has it's painful moments, we all know that too well, but the joy it brings to your home and life is great, what it brings to your soul is priceless. We are here for you when you need us, I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers......Rip precious babies Chia and Sesame. Although your time on this earth was way too short, you left a mark on a heart that will securely enfold you for eternity. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, Little Angels, dream you deep. Your tiny lives were marked, and mattered. You are never forgotten.

I am so sorry. It shatters you. It does. But you did everything humanly possible for these little ones, and they left this world loved.

 

[les26]

I am so sorry that this happened to you and them, but you did a wonderful thing trying to help and raise them. I have learned over the years that sometimes, even with us doing the best that we can, that it is just not meant for us to help them and keep them with us, for some reason when it is their time to go they must go despite our best intentions and care. But they are fine now, healthy and happy and playing in their new life.

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven"

I hope that your heart heals a bit each day, Lord Bless you for taking this on.....

 

[Feral Cat Mom]

Hi! Just wanted to say so sorry for your loss. I know it hurts. I've lost two of my cats last spring. They disappeared which isn't the same but is hard because you don't know if they suffered or not. They hardly made it to be a year old. My heart goes out to you at this time.

 

[Antonio65]

I'm sorry you had to experience such a pain when it should have been a happy moment for all.

Kittens are really fragile at birth and some of them just can't make it.
Once a vet told me that this is the reason why the litters can be so numerous, with the hope that at least one gets to grow adult. It's the hard law of the nature.

I know how you feel, I had a similar exerience 10 years ago, when a vet called me on a morning to ask me if I was willing to grow a tiny 2-days old kitten that someone had brought to him.
I rushed to the practice and took that furball home with me and did everything I could and everything I was told to do. I would give him the milk every two hours during the day, every three hours at night. This would mean that I had to wake up early, give him the firts meal, then a second meal right before going to work, then I would take a leave from work in mid-morning and rushed home to give him the third meal, then I would skip my lunch to go home again and give him HIS lunch. Again in the afternoon and then I was back home. Another meal in th evening, another one before going to bed, but I set up the alarm to wake up at 3 am for his night meal and over again the next day, for days.
I would brush his rear to make him poop and pee after each meal.
I also bought a heating pad to keep him warm, had a thermometer to be sure it wasn't too cold or too warm, and put an old clock into a wollen sock to simulate the muffled sound of a heartbeat.
I weighed him twice a day and everything was so promising. I was looking forward to seeing him open his eyes.

Then on a day I saw his weight had decreased a little and rushed to the vet immediately. Despite all the efforts and attempts and my desperate run to an emergency clinic in the middle of the night, he passed away, and hadn't opened his eyes yet.
He wasn't mine, I was just fostering, rearing him, but I was devastated!

You did all you could, you didn't hesitate to take him and his siblings to the vet. Something was out of your control and you are not at fault, it was just the hard law of the nature.
Kittens are really fragile