Cats Not Getting Along

[Jordan831]

If there is anyone out there that can provide advice on cats getting along (the don't have to like each other) I just want them to tolerate each other.

Some background. I have had my cat Teemo since he was 4 months old and now he is 3. He is a big black cat and seems like the bully. My girlfriend moved into my apartment 8 months ago with her cat pumpkin (~4-5 yo). We did everything correctly -- I think.

We started them in separate rooms and they hissed, batted paws, etc.
Fast forward a few weeks, and they are able to eat face to face with the bowls touching. I thought this was a good sign, but they can only do that because they are distracted by food, when they aren't eating Teemo will chase her down and try to hurt her.

We moved to a new apartment (so that way Teemo didn't "own" the territory). Things were much better. They can eat and even walk around the place together -- when he wears a harness. His aggression towards her seems contradictory. Some times I feel he is just really curious and wants to play with her but she doesn't want to. Other times it looks like he's trying to seriously hurt her.

My girlfriend and myself have seriously contemplated giving him away but I will be so heart broken.

Please help! I want to keep my baby!

 

[abyeb]

Have you tried Feliway in a spray or diffuser? Feliway mimics feline pheromones, which helps cats relax.

 

[Jordan831]

Oh yes, the spray and diffusers. Both I notice no difference. People (that don't have cats) keep telling me just let them sort it out and I'm scared.

 

[abyeb]

Since you've been through the standard introduction protocol, you can probably have scheduled play sessions. Feed both cats before, to take the edge off of any hyperness that the other cat could perceive as aggression. Then, get the cats in a room together and drag a fishing pole type toy around the room for them to chase. This will give the cats a positive outlet for their energy (chasing and attacking the toy, instead of each other), and show them that they can play nicely together. Give treats for good behavior. This will help instill good habits, as well as getting the cats to associate each other with something they like (getting treats!)

 

[Jordan831]

We usually try to let him walk around after they eat together but he starts getting into "pounce mode". I just give him treats to distract him and break up the staring. I've tried one of his favorite toys-- a shoe string and he literally ignores it and will focus her. His other favorite toy is exactly what you said -- I tie a toy or string to the end of my fishing pole and he loves that. I can try that tonight.


Do you think I should be trying this all with him in a harness? He seems like he doesn't run as fast or pounce on her when he wears it.

 

[abyeb]

Sounds like he might have a lot of extra energy to burn off... ever thought about getting a cat exercise wheel?

 

[Jordan831]

Never heard of that, I'll look into it! And yes he is a very high energy cat. No matter how much I play with him, he cannot get enough. When we lived alone (just me and him) it was easier to exhaust him because I would essentially play fetch with him and he will run. As fast as he can for 30-45 min of playing.

 

[abyeb]

Never heard of that, I'll look into it! And yes he is a very high energy cat. No matter how much I play with him, he cannot get enough. When we lived alone (just me and him) it was easier to exhaust him because I would essentially play fetch with him and he will run. As fast as he can for 30-45 min of playing.

Sometimes there are conflicts between higher and lower energy cats. It sounds like Teemo just wants to run around and wrestle while Pumpkin just wants to chill out, which would frustrate Teemo and stress Pumpkin. If Teemo can tire himself out on the exercise wheel, he may be more willing to take things slow with Pumpkin. I'll attach a link to where you can get the cat wheel. It actually looks quite elegant: Cat Exercise Wheel I believe this is the most affordable model, if you are handy with tools, you could also make one: Cat Exercise Wheel Device: 10 Steps (with Pictures)

 

[Jordan831]

I'm going to try that! Tire Teemo out with laser pointer and toys before he has dinner with pumpkin. I'll see how he behaves after he eats. But you are totally right. Pumpkin is a plump orange tabby that just likes to chill/sleep and Teemo is taller, longer, stronger and faster than pumpkin. I think she's so scared if she sees him coming at her with all that energy.

 

[Jordan831]

Well. That didn't work either.... he had a nice meal with her. After the meal he stalker her down and I would distract him, things seemed okay. Out of the blue he attacked and hurt her. Big clumps of hair came out and she peed on the floor and wall. I am honestly giving up and may turn to rehoming or maybe see if he would be a good barn cat.

 

[abyeb]

Has he been neutered? Whole male cats often have behavioral issues associated with hormones.

 

[Jordan831]

He was neutered as soon as he weighed enough

 

[Jordan831]

I do still notice some hormonal driven things from him. He will sniff the other female cats down there -- very persistently and get all worked up. Pupils dilating and try to grab her

 

[abyeb]

Castration or vasectomy? A vasectomy would have made no difference in his hormone levels, he just wouldn't get female cats pregnant.

 

[Jordan831]

Castration

 

[tarasgirl06]

If there is anyone out there that can provide advice on cats getting along (the don't have to like each other) I just want them to tolerate each other.

Some background. I have had my cat Teemo since he was 4 months old and now he is 3. He is a big black cat and seems like the bully. My girlfriend moved into my apartment 8 months ago with her cat pumpkin (~4-5 yo). We did everything correctly -- I think.

We started them in separate rooms and they hissed, batted paws, etc.
Fast forward a few weeks, and they are able to eat face to face with the bowls touching. I thought this was a good sign, but they can only do that because they are distracted by food, when they aren't eating Teemo will chase her down and try to hurt her.

We moved to a new apartment (so that way Teemo didn't "own" the territory). Things were much better. They can eat and even walk around the place together -- when he wears a harness. His aggression towards her seems contradictory. Some times I feel he is just really curious and wants to play with her but she doesn't want to. Other times it looks like he's trying to seriously hurt her.

My girlfriend and myself have seriously contemplated giving him away but I will be so heart broken.

Please help! I want to keep my baby!

Under no condition would I betray my cat. I would suggest the others move out if they can't get along. But often it takes time -- longer than a few weeks -- for cats, just like people, to adjust to one another in their living space. Having enough room so that each of them can feel safe and secure away from the other is the ideal, and you are doing all the right things. Both of them need to be neutered, of course, for all the obvious reasons.
Our most recently adopted, Elvis, is a neutered male of 10 who came to us last August and he has lived with a dog and also with another cat, successfully. In the beginning, both of my girls seemed to like him, but one of them has become scared of him and will often run and hide from him. I don't know why this has happened. He seems to be a very gentle, friendly, playful guy and I do not know that he has ever harmed her. We have plenty of room here and so it is not a major problem. There is no question of anyone going anywhere else -- adoption is for LIFE here. Before Elvis, our most recently adopted was a Maine Coon neutered male of 14 who had always been an "only cat". He had a lot of adjustment to make to live in our (then) large feline family. It took him about 1 year to fully adjust, and he and my then-alpha male used to have problems. He would jump him and sometimes I had to resort to using a broom handle to separate them! No physical harm was done, though of course it would have been better if they hadn't seen the need to prove themselves like this. In time, they grew to accept one another and would curl up on the bed right next to one another.

Time, patience, and love are key. Cats are actually very social beings. Good luck -- and please don't even think of rehoming Teemo!

 

[5starcathotel]

How does Pumpkin react to toys/play? The other real key is to try and get Pumpkin to feel confident and comfortable in her surroundings, and play is an important tool to doing that. Another question is, where does Pumpkin hang out during the day? And where does she retreat to when Teemo becomes a bit too aggressive for her?

Ideally what you want is Pumpkin to consistently be able to go lay in the middle of any room, completely relaxed and comfortable. But also, we want her to have couple of places she can retreat to to get away from Teemo if necessary.

But as long as Pumpkin hasn't been relegated to living under beds and couches by her fear, the relationship should be salvageable.

That said, getting cats of vastly different energy levels to coexist is really, really hard, and I have failed at it. Fortunately the high-energy kitty in that case went to someone that was specifically looking for a high-energy playmate for one of their two cats. So I'm saying your other option is adopt a 3rd high-energy cat or kitten as a playmate for Teemo.

 

[Jordan831]

Pumpkin spends the day sleeping on a cat tower I built it on the couch in the living room. When Teemo becomes aggressive she literally will try to get anywhere that's safe but never makes it. Teemo is too big and fast for her that he usually gets on top of her or cornered before she can hide.

A friend of mine has always wanted a cat and was in love with Teemo since I got him as a baby. She is willing to take him, but I worry that if she doesn't play with him then he will become "annoying" and then she won't want him anymore.

Funny you mentioned a 3rd high energy playmate! We did try that about 6 months ago. We adopted our 3rd bundle of joy, patches. She is about 1 year old now and she gets along with both cats (neutral party). I've even seen Teemo grooming her before!