Cat Seem Agitated Trying To Cuddle Him

[Jimmy96]

Hey there,

I have a kitty he's about 14 months old now. Most of the time when I bring him to my bed wrap him under my blanket or hold him beside me and cuddle him he doesn't seem to quite stay there for too long. He starts wagging his tail and tries to escape. Sometimes he will stay in my arms for 30-40 mins very calmly and then leave and then there's also sometimes he will come sleep beside my arms and there's also majority of times where he will come stay on top of my legs etc.

He's also very active, if I move my arms under the blanket he tries to play thinking something is moving and goes crazy.

He has a few spots around the house that's his like sofa etc, if I go there and I cuddle him there on his spot he seems to be okay most of the time and doesn't mind it. It's usually if I pick him up from where he is and I bring him to my bed then things go south sometimes lol

But, I wanna cuddle him lol and hold him in my arms

I've tried sprinkling catnip on my bed etc here and there and it works a little.
I feel like he's anxious or something and needs to be relaxed. Are there any products or anything that can relax him or something? Or what can I do differently to make him know it's okay. I know cats wanna be alone etc and want their own thing and it's hard to change their behaviour but I just wanna hold him when Im trying to fall asleep haha!

Hope to get some insight on this, thank you guys!

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi!
If he's uncomfortable with it, I would stop trying.
Maybe later when he's older he will be less antsy

 

[She's a witch]

No all the cats like cuddling, like with humans, there are different characters. The more you force them into the habit they don’t like, the more they hate this habit. If you need it in your life, consider adopting another cat who is an adult (therefore his character is established already) and is known to be of a cuddly nature, plenty of those in the foster homes Cats need respect and acceptance to flourish.
I am not sure what breed is your cats, but some breeds are considered as not being cuddly nor affectionate.

 

[Jimmy96]

He's actually very affectionate, always talking and showing love etc but not the greatest when you wanna cuddle him in your bed. He's a scottish fold(not a pure bred).

 

[Jimmy96]

I can also hold him on my arms when Im sitting infront of computer or couch etc and doesnt mind that and is okay with it most of the time, or I can get him to sit on my lap as well!

 

[FeebysOwner]

He's a cutie! Take advantage to cuddle with him when it is on his own terms. The more you cuddle when he likes it, the more he might be inclined when he gets a little older to think bedtime cuddling with you is a good idea.

Even though Feeby at 14+ yo sleeps most nights with me, there are just those times that she is like "Nope, not tonight, so don't bug me." And, I've done the same thing as you have, putting her under the covers, some times she stays and many other times she is looking for the fastest way out.

It all depends on their mood/attitude, and at the age of your guy - you have a teenager with a 'tude'! He will more than likely calm down some with age.

 

[She's a witch]

So it seems you get plenty of love from him. If I had that, I would let it be and never force him into something he doesn’t like. Imagine you are being picked up and cuddled Against your will.

 

[Jimmy96]

I would say he does give a lot of love but I still think wanting to hold him at night would be great. As im typing this hes looking at me and meowing to give him attention.

 

[She's a witch]

Well, you chose a cat as your companion. Part of why cats are awesome, is that they cannot always be told what to do, including cuddling in your bed. They are very independent animals. If you respect that, he may surprise you

 

[Furballsmom]

We're not saying never, necessarily--he's a cat, after all just not now. He needs to accept it on his terms.
He's a beautiful cat by the way!!

 

[Mamanyt1953]

He's gorgeous, and they're persnickity! Look, you want him to associate you with all good things. Cuddle him when he's comfortable with it, and LET GO the minute he acts antsy. That way, he will never associate you with feeling trapped. Once he trusts that he can get away anytime he wants to, he may well start to tolerate longer and longer cuddle sessions.

 

[rubysmama]

Sometimes he will stay in my arms for 30-40 mins very calmly

30-40 minutes? Or seconds? If minutes, that's great! My Ruby is a lap cat, and will sleep beside me in bed, but she HATES being restrained and will wiggle and squirm any time I put my arms around her. So if your cat is staying in your arms for 30-40 minutes, I'd say you are doing very well.

 

[Jimmy96]

30-40 minutes? Or seconds? If minutes, that's great! My Ruby is a lap cat, and will sleep beside me in bed, but she HATES being restrained and will wiggle and squirm any time I put my arms around her. So if your cat is staying in your arms for 30-40 minutes, I'd say you are doing very well.

Whenever he's feeling it he will stay 30-40 mins in my arms. Today I took a nap earlier while he was laying on my parents bed and he was in my arms for an hour of my nap until I got up. So its like if I go to wherever he is less chances he doesnt mind being cuddled but when you bring I bring him with me to my bed then sometimes hes not feeling it.

 

[Suru]

I let my cat know that napping with me is a privilege, if he gets too playful when I'm trying to sleep, I kick him out of bed. When he's sleepy, and he sees me napping, he will come over and try to sleep with me under the blanket, if he's not sleepy and feeling playful, there's no point in trying to get him to cuddle anyway. We end up napping together a lot

 

[Jimmy96]

I let my cat know that napping with me is a privilege, if he gets too playful when I'm trying to sleep, I kick him out of bed. When he's sleepy, and he sees me napping, he will come over and try to sleep with me under the blanket, if he's not sleepy and feeling playful, there's no point in trying to get him to cuddle anyway. We end up napping together a lot

That's what I want haha, was he always like that when he saw you napping he came and slept under ur sheets? How did it get to that?

 

[Suru]

When I first got him, he liked to cuddle in my lap. in order to move him off my lap easily when I need to get up, I have a blanket on my lap and wrap it around him when he sleeps. Then, when I need to move him, i just move the entire blanket package. It turns out that he really like to sleep covered, so when he's ready for a nap, all I need to do is lift up a corner of my blanket and he'll come in to nap. occasionally he's not sleepy, and wants to come in to play - he will start gnawing at my hair and pouncing on my ankles, that's when I kick him out.
Also, I don't let him sleep with me at night, and he's learnt to respect that.

 

[Maria Bayote]

Cats will come to you when they want a cuddle or a kiss. This is how they differ from dogs. By nature they are like that. But some cats also are overly affectionate. Just turned out that your cat is not that much, or buys his own time before he wants to be held or cuddled. Just leave him be. The more you try to cuddle or hold him, the more he won't oblige. It does not mean that he does not like you or he does not love you. This is how he is.

My Bourbon is like that. She comes to me when she wants to, although I always have this urge to squeeze her. LOL.

 

[Ghoulofnagoya]

My kitty Levi will sleep by my legs but hates being held or cuddled and just screams if you hold him for more than 5 seconds. So if your getting 30 minutes im jealous. He only lets me hold him when I arrive hom from work for exactly 2 minutes of lap sitting and purring. lol

Cats are like humans so they have different likes and dislikes.

 

[Suru]

It definitely comes down to the basic temperament of the cat too. mine is pretty much okay with anything when he's sleepy. He often naps under my desk on his cat bed, and I wiggle my feet under him and use him as a foot warmer.
This is how he sleeps in my lap, I woke him up by takingthe blanket off his head, whoops.

Nap time, I like to sleep curled up, and he likes to come over and sleep in the space created by my chest and thighs.

Energy efficieny feet warmer
“Aaa, it burnz! Why yoo shine dat bright flashy in my eyez hooman???”

 

[daftcat75]

Hey there,

I have a kitty he's about 14 months old now. Most of the time when I bring him to my bed wrap him under my blanket or hold him beside me and cuddle him he doesn't seem to quite stay there for too long. He starts wagging his tail and tries to escape. Sometimes he will stay in my arms for 30-40 mins very calmly and then leave and then there's also sometimes he will come sleep beside my arms and there's also majority of times where he will come stay on top of my legs etc.

He's also very active, if I move my arms under the blanket he tries to play thinking something is moving and goes crazy.

He has a few spots around the house that's his like sofa etc, if I go there and I cuddle him there on his spot he seems to be okay most of the time and doesn't mind it. It's usually if I pick him up from where he is and I bring him to my bed then things go south sometimes lol

But, I wanna cuddle him lol and hold him in my arms

I've tried sprinkling catnip on my bed etc here and there and it works a little.
I feel like he's anxious or something and needs to be relaxed. Are there any products or anything that can relax him or something? Or what can I do differently to make him know it's okay. I know cats wanna be alone etc and want their own thing and it's hard to change their behaviour but I just wanna hold him when Im trying to fall asleep haha!

Hope to get some insight on this, thank you guys!

Consent! Where’s the consent? You want cuddles on demand? Get a stuffed animal. Real animals have autonomy and preferences and needs for space.

In the wild, an animal who corners another animal, who stalks another animal, who demonstrates too much interest in another animal usually wants to mate with or eat that animal. There aren’t many cuddlers in nature. You are probably creeping him out and you’re certainly irritating him based on the tail wagging, squirming, and escaping. Also most cats don’t want to be picked up because being picked up, in nature, is usually a prelude to being eaten.

But all is not lost. Cats do like their humans. Usually. They just want to do it on their own time. As someone who used to be allergic to cats, I can tell you the best way to get a cat’s attention and affection is to ignore the cat. Spend time with him in the same room, for sure, but don’t crowd him. Sit on a chair adjacent to his sofa and do your own thing. He’ll come around. Or what always works with my Krista, get on the floor and meditate or do some yoga. Anything that requires stillness and inner peace will attract mischief and curiosity.

Ease up on him. Give him space and he will close the gap when he wants to.