Cat keeps attacking me - how can I help him feel comfortable?

[almondblossommilk]

I'm "borrowing" my neighbor's cat - he's gone for six months and needs someone to watch his cat + our landlord is a slumlord (unfortunately) so the apartments all have mice and this little dude is very good at catching them, so win-win, right?

Well, almost. The cat keeps attacking me. Now, my neighbor is a bit dumb and roughs the cat up like a dog, so I think that's a big part of why he's like this (+ in a strange place, with a stranger), but I wanna know how to stop or minimize it if possible?

Basically, he attacks in two contexts: he initiates play and tries to do the whole ninja cat routine, only to get overstimulated and end up putting holes in his target (me) or he hisses and attacks when he's touched (and doesn't want it) or thinks he's going to be touched.

He's not a mean cat and a firm NO usually dissuades him immediately in the first context, I can usually stop it before it even happens. He's just trying to play and takes it too far, it's okay. He doesn't know me and what I'm okay with, I get it.

But the problem is that I'm regularly having showdowns with him because he keeps thinking I'm trying to touch him when I'm NOT, or he's putting himself in scenarios where I can't help but accidentally touch him, and then getting peeved off about it and threatening to maul me if I DARE move one more muscle!

Like last night, I opened the fridge. He came over to check it out. He's a curious one. I had to close the fridge, he wouldn't move. Remember, we can't touch him, right? He's very big on consent. I gently started closing the fridge after luring him away failed. Fridge door touches cat.

Cat is ANGRY. Why are you trying to touch me?! I don't WANT to be touched, leave me alone! Ensue hissing, cat attacks leg, pokes bloody holes in said leg. Standoff until cat realizes I'm not trying to touch him, calms down and allows me to actually move away from him without attacking me.

Obviously, I never ever purposefully touch him unless he's okay with it and I don't bother him or insist. I respected his space long before he ever attacked me. So it's a bit disheartening to me he thinks he needs to protect his personal space so fiercely.

Funny thing is, he's otherwise really comfortable. Lays down next to me belly up, slow blinks. Follows me around with his tail in the air, even rubs up against me at times. He just thinks I'm trying to grab him and stuff when I'm not.

How can I help him feel more comfortable, and come to understand that I intend to give him his space?

 

[Kwik]

Gee,you've got 6 months with this guy? I agree with you" my neighbor is dumb" or at least has done some things thst are not very smart to do to a cat! And here we are,quite the predicaments you've gotten yourself into!

Well,we certainly know why kitty does what kitty does,add the new and unfamiliar environment into the equation and you have your hands full

Have you just let given him access to the entire house or did you start him off in one room?So since you cannot " touch" him can I ask how he was brought to you ,carried in?Carrier?Is it an apt bldg with the same unit type layouts? Do you have any pets? Cat trees,toys etc? I know I'm asking alot of questions but I'd like to get a feel for everything to see what we can do to keep you safe ahd both get along for the duration of his stay What's his name,is he nuetered and how old is he ( estimate)?

Be encouraged,there's always solutions

 

[almondblossommilk]

Started him off in the bathroom with litter, food .etc., but he escaped and can't be picked up, so just gave up on that whole idea. It's been a week so far of him having free run of the place.

He has a cat tree from home, litter, toys, dishes and I also bought him a perch for the window because there's no sill and I noticed he REALLY wanted to be in the window. Units are all the same layout, yes.

I have no pets. Neighbor carried him into my apartment, but the interesting part about that is this cat attacks his owner, too, but the guy just straight up ignores it/is oblivious to it. Literally thinks he's playing, even when he draws blood. Also thinks he is a she, and will not be told otherwise even though he has balls (so to answer your question, he's not neutered).

He's about two years old, I think? Young adult cat. Also, his name is Kitty.

 

[Kwik]

Wow- I kinda got the impression we were talking about an intact male- especially since the owner appears to be ,as you say " oblivious"- he sounds down right ignorant!

You must really be a cat lover,very kind of you to take on such a responsibility

You were certainly going about introduction to a new environment in the right way ,,now that containment is no longer an option ( or is it,) can you close him off in one part of the house or not really feasible?

Kitty ,being intact is not going to respond well to confrontation( stand off- you called it)plus turning your back on him will not be a good choice ( the refrigerator scenario) becsusd it then will trigger hunt mode and you become prey... I hope you've alot of time and attention to invest here because thsts what it's going to take to tackle the challenge and get desirable results instead of this awful " learned " behavior

Your best tool is distraction,thsnk goodness Kitty is young and probably quite energetic and playful so you can use that to your advantage.Id keep toys in my pocket and a wand toy available to distract Kitty when he gets that look in his eyes when he focuses his attention on you as his playmate or prey

It's such a shame whst some people do unwittingly to encourage undesirable behavior in probably a very sweet Kitty

Is he food & treat motivated?With intact males that testosterone only fuels the fire and at age 2 his levels are very high Distraction is the weapon of choice here and high praise for displays of affection( treats?) You might want to try getting a Feliway calming diffuser and some cat calming feramone sprays- I have a colleague thst sprays Comfort Zone on her pants legs and swears by it,says it get them rubbing on her legs?I'm not sure about this idea but the concept is reasonable

Has he marked anywhere? Does he have a particular place he seems to be more relaxed in thst you may have noticed over this past week?

 

[Caspers Human]

Y'know, some people are okay with cats playing and wresting with humans.

I believe that tussling with a cat is part and parcel with having a cat. I actually like wrestling with a cat on occasion and all of our cats are allowed to wrestle, provided all parties obey "House Rules." Namely, never force a cat to wrestle if it doesn't want to. Humans also have the right to say, "Not now."

It sounds, to me, like your cat's owner likes wrestling with cats but hasn't been faithful about setting and following rules. Now, you are dealing with a cat that thinks it's okay to wrestle with humans any time he wants.

Since you're going to be caring for this cat for a fairly long time, it'll be up to you to set the "House Rules" and teach the cat to follow them. If your House Rules say that it's not okay for cats to wrestle with humans and it's only okay to play with toys, it's going to be up to you to teach the cat what the rules are and how to obey.

Whenever the cat tries to attack you (initiating rough play) one way is to get a toy like a feather wand to distract the cat and direct it in a way that you think appropriate. You're going to have to be absolutely consistent with the message you send until the cat begins to learn the new House Rules.

It'll take some time for the cat to learn the new rules but it can be done. Consistency is key. Follow up with lots of praise, petting and loving when the cat behaves the way you want.

A few kitty treats as reward for good behavior never hurts, either!

 

[iPappy]

Jackson Galaxy might have some videos on YouTube that would help you with this guy. Returning that slow, heavy blink at an annoyed cat right back at them can do a lot to calm them down and show them that you're not a threat and don't want to fight.
The Feliway is a good idea. You could also look into calming treats. Do you have any stray cats near where you live, or do neighbors let their cats roam? If he sees/senses them, it might be putting him on edge. My two females get along quite well. One night, one saw something (it was either a rabbit or a cat, but I'm almost sure it was a rabbit) out the window. It was dusk, so kind of hard to see. Anyway, the older female got so on edge she attacked the younger one several times in a row, enough that I separated them for the night.
He sounds like a cool cat all in all.

 

[almondblossommilk]

He's calmed down considerably and has stopped attacking me.

I want to clarify though, that what he was doing with his owner was not wrestling. I have watched this cat yowl, hiss and spit at this man trying to tell him to STOP grabbing him, only for him to not really notice or care and continue anyway.

You know when someone roughs up a dog by smacking them and petting them hard and going OH YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD BOY, that's what the dude does with this cat. Even as the cat pins his ears at him, hisses at him and bites to draw blood.

With me, he was getting extremely mad about me touching him when he didn't want it/didn't consent to it or at least thought that's what was happening. Hair standing, teeth bared and all. Mauling my arms and legs.

Sometimes he would try to actually play fight with me, but then would get mad (overstimulated?) halfway through and then what started as Kitty trying to wrestle with me and play a game ended in an actual fight with the cat biting me to hurt, fur bristling and hissing at me even though he initiated it.

I have continued to respect his boundaries and never touching him unless he actively was inviting pets and he has stopped attacking me in any context. Now he can actually play fight without it turning serious, too.

 

[Alldara]

That's wonderful, though I hope you can talk some sense to your neighbour on their return. It would be such a shame for him to revert back since you've built so much trust up with him.

 

[Kwik]

He's calmed down considerably and has stopped attacking me.

I want to clarify though, that what he was doing with his owner was not wrestling. I have watched this cat yowl, hiss and spit at this man trying to tell him to STOP grabbing him, only for him to not really notice or care and continue anyway.

You know when someone roughs up a dog by smacking them and petting them hard and going OH YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD BOY, that's what the dude does with this cat. Even as the cat pins his ears at him, hisses at him and bites to draw blood.

With me, he was getting extremely mad about me touching him when he didn't want it/didn't consent to it or at least thought that's what was happening. Hair standing, teeth bared and all. Mauling my arms and legs.

Sometimes he would try to actually play fight with me, but then would get mad (overstimulated?) halfway through and then what started as Kitty trying to wrestle with me and play a game ended in an actual fight with the cat biting me to hurt, fur bristling and hissing at me even though he initiated it.

I have continued to respect his boundaries and never touching him unless he actively was inviting pets and he has stopped attacking me in any context. Now he can actually play fight without it turning serious, too.

Though it will turn serious once his owner starts rough housing again - not sure why he has a little cat ,I'd really like him to have a tiger-Im sure the tiger would love to wrestle with himOr maybe a Lynx,Cheetah or an Ocelot if he prefers to pick on little guys

Btw,you've been so patient ,kind and have done a wonderful job with this little guy.... anyway you can keep him?

 

[Caspers Human]

I want to clarify though, that what he was doing with his owner was not wrestling. I have watched this cat yowl, hiss and spit at this man trying to tell him to STOP grabbing him, only for him to not really notice or care and continue anyway.

So, you're telling us that the other guy "dog wrestles" with his cat? I'm a guy who believes it's okay to wrestle with a cat and even I think that's out of line! If the cat gets aggro, it's trying to tell you to stop! Continuing to harass the cat after that point is borderline abuse if not outright!

I think you are on the right path. Treat this cat totally hands off. Playing with toys like a wand, tossing a toy mouse or chasing a kitty laser would be okay but any kind of "touch play" should be right out. I would be hesitant to even pet this cat except for a gentle scratch behind the ears. If the cat comes to you for petting and attention, all right, but nothing beyond that. Even then, only up to the cat's limits.

If you try to pet this cat and it scrunches its fur, flicks its tail or you see its ears go back, those are signs that he's telling you, "Hands off!"

Now... What to do, going forward? I don't know, exactly...

I'd probably get a fishing pole. You can buy them at the pet store. They are small, about two feet long. They have a long string, a reel and a feather toy at the end. It's just like a miniature fishing pole that a young kid might play with. You use it just like going real fishing. Cast it out. Reel it back in, slowly, and let the cat attack it.

Teach the cat how to play with the fishing pole then, when his owner returns, show him the "new trick" you taught him how to play.

Hey! Look! Cat fishing!
It's probably the most "guy way" to play with a cat that I can think of.

Then, after the guy sees how you taught the cat to play at "Cat Fishing" just give him the fishing pole on the promise that he won't dog wrestle the cat, anymore.

If I was talking to this guy I would just, outright, say, "Dude! That's f***ing abuse!"

If that doesn't work, if I were you, I'd consider offering the guy $50 to let you keep the cat.

 

[downton ali]

So, you're telling us that the other guy "dog wrestles" with his cat? I'm a guy who believes it's okay to wrestle with a cat and even I think that's out of line! If the cat gets aggro, it's trying to tell you to stop! Continuing to harass the cat after that point is borderline abuse if not outright!

I think you are on the right path. Treat this cat totally hands off. Playing with toys like a wand, tossing a toy mouse or chasing a kitty laser would be okay but any kind of "touch play" should be right out. I would be hesitant to even pet this cat except for a gentle scratch behind the ears. If the cat comes to you for petting and attention, all right, but nothing beyond that. Even then, only up to the cat's limits.

If you try to pet this cat and it scrunches its fur, flicks its tail or you see its ears go back, those are signs that he's telling you, "Hands off!"

Now... What to do, going forward? I don't know, exactly...

I'd probably get a fishing pole. You can buy them at the pet store. They are small, about two feet long. They have a long string, a reel and a feather toy at the end. It's just like a miniature fishing pole that a young kid might play with. You use it just like going real fishing. Cast it out. Reel it back in, slowly, and let the cat attack it.

Teach the cat how to play with the fishing pole then, when his owner returns, show him the "new trick" you taught him how to play.

Hey! Look! Cat fishing!
It's probably the most "guy way" to play with a cat that I can think of.

Then, after the guy sees how you taught the cat to play at "Cat Fishing" just give him the fishing pole on the promise that he won't dog wrestle the cat, anymore.

If I was talking to this guy I would just, outright, say, "Dude! That's f***ing abuse!"

If that doesn't work, if I were you, I'd consider offering the guy $50 to let you keep the cat.

Who knows, he might never come back for his cat.

 

[Kwik]

A almondblossommilk
Can you please move nextdoor to me? Wouldn't you like to live in South Florida?

You have to be the nicest person to not only cat sit but to arrange your entire house around to accommodate this little " guest" and not even really know his day of departure..... Seriously,this story still blows my mind.

You're the person that deserves pets and any cat would be very Blessed to have you as a pet parent - you obviously had cats before because you do not sound like someone who has never had a puddy cat or who knows nothing about them.....

I really think you should move here and take Mr Kitty with you!

 

[Caspers Human]

Who knows, he might never come back for his cat.

Or you could just say to him that you fell in love with the cat and, “pretty please can I keep him?”

 

[Kwik]

Or you could just say to him that you fell in love with the cat and, “pretty please can I keep him?”

This is funny A almondblossommilk because there's a really good chance that he'd say okay . Many many years ago s friend of mine had a very sweet and very overweight Dalmatian named Dotty( Spotty Dotty) and she was beside herself because she bought a home in Northern Florida and at the last minute the deal fell through,she already sold her own home,had to be out on a soon approaching date and had to find a place up North to stay while she looked for another home but it's not easy to find short term rentals with a big dog

Long story short I kept Dotty while she sorted things out ,1mo turned into 2 then 3 then 4.Dotty knew nothing,not even basic commands but by the time her owner was ready for the dog she was at her perfect weight and very well trained - I was heart broken but didn't say a thing, came the day of pick up and I was outside walking Dotty ,she was standing at " heel" and her owner exclaimed "Dotty" - Dotty looked up at me and I said " okay go" and Dotty trotted over,got petted and ran back and sat at heel - I melted and asked " please let Dotty stay with me"

Seeing Dotty fit as fiddle,so obedient and loyal her owner cried but knew she was much better off staying where she wanted to be- she loved that dog so much she let her go- visited her whenever possible

Perhaps when your cats owner shows up and he sees a different cat that the one he left he might realize he's better of where he is- the guy sounds abusive,no doubt he knows the cat is annoyed but it's amusing to him for some weird reason - I've met a few strangely sadistic people like that in my lifetime

What do you think about all of this,would you want to give him a home with you?

 

[Caspers Human]

Dotty looked up at me and I said " okay go" and Dotty trotted over,got petted and ran back and sat at heel

Most dogs want to have a leader. When a dog looks to a human for permission like that it is clear that she thinks of them as their leader.

Then, when the dog came back to you, it was like the dog saying, "This is my human!"

It's clear that Dotty was your dog at that point! Anybody would recognize that. It's clear, to me, that both you and the dog's original human made the right move!

Maybe, with a little luck, the same thing will happen with A almondblossommilk 's cat.