Cat Introductions!

[Sonatine]

So my new cat Mischief finally came home with me. Resident cat Amelia is not thrilled.

I live in an apartment so the introduction set up isn't ideal. I've got resident cat in my bedroom because that's where all her favorite spots (including her cat tree and litterbox) are. The bedroom isn't much smaller than the livingroom, which is where new cat is.

A sliding door separates them. I've got a window unit AC in the livingroom, and if I shut the doors it gets unbearably hot in the bedroom so I have to leave them cracked, which means they can see each other. There's been some hissing and growling from resident cat, but she's still eating, so I know she's doing okay if a bit unhappy. She hides sometimes, but also spends time in her usual perches and she lets me pet her.

Here's the problem: the sliding doors are hard to move quickly, and new cat really, really wants to go in the bedroom. She's slipped past me three times just today; the first two times I got her out before Amelia saw her, but the third time Amelia hissed and rushed her a bit (new cat backed down; they didn't actually fight or anything).

Am I totally ruining the intros? I expected some hostility at the start and from what I've read here, some hissing and growling is normal at first. But I haven't been able to separate them completely and I'm pretty sure that if new cat managed to slip around me so many times in just one day that it won't be the last time she does it.

I sprayed some feliway on the door that separates them (should have just bitten the financial bullet and gotten the diffuser). I place treats and food by the door; resident cat won't go for it if it's too close but she will eat them, and new cat hasn't seemed to figure out that I'm offering her food yet (she also hasn't eaten yet, but she ate right before I brought her home this afternoon so I'm not too worried about that yet).

Sorry for this wall of text; I'm just worried. Have I botched it, or are they going to be okay?

 

[Sonatine]

gah sorry to double post, but although she's dug around in the litterbox a bit, she still hasn't used it yet. I scooted it a few feet so that it would be under a table in case she felt too exposed using it, but it's worrying me a little.

Should I not worry too much about this until tomorrow? She did eat a little, so that makes me feel at least a little better.

 

[She's a witch]

I would keep the door closed for now, I see no other way. Maybe get a fan that could help with the temperature?

As for the litter box, is it the same litter that she was used to at her previous place? If it’s different, she may not like it.

 

[Sonatine]

I've already got two fans, and it's just too hot this time of year. With the door cracked it's tolerable but with it shut all the way I won't sleep at all and I'd worry about Millie being uncomfortable while I'm gone. I might try putting a box or something in front of the crack to block her view.

That's a good point about the litter. I'll try and call tomorrow and ask what kind they use. My resident cat could care less so I forgot that some cats are pickier. Hopefully she'll tolerate it in the meantime.

 

[She's a witch]

So maybe you could sleep with Millie (and AC) in the living room? I understand you, I have no AC and 79degrees in my apartment.. I just took a chocolate from the cupboard and it’s half melted.....

 

[Sonatine]

I thought about that, but all of Millie's stuff is in the bedroom, and switching them is no easy task. I live alone, so it would involve holding one and shooing the other with my feet. I'd rather not use their carriers to do it; they both hate them and I don't want to create unnecessary negative associations between them. Eventually I'll have to tackle that part for room switching but for now I don't want my resident cat to be without all her favorite spots.

For now, since she's only hissed a bit, and not even every time she sees the other cat, I'll try to just block her view a bit more and give her more time to get used to other cat. She's acting a little more reserved than normal since Mischief came home, but not enough that I'm worried about her health; she still eats and wants my attention. She hides a little more than usual but also lounges in her favorite spots.

 

[She's a witch]

So it seems it’s working pretty good so far. I’d block the door as much as possible and stop worrying, I think you described above that you really have little reason to. It’s exciting to observe introduction of two cats, enjoy!

 

[Sonatine]

New kitty cried the entire night, so loudly and persistently that I gave in and went out into the livingroom. I don't want to get in the habit of giving in when she cries, but it was her first night and she was probably scared so I figure it's okay. I still hardly slept.

She's used the litterbox, and while I haven't been able to get ahold of the food they use at the cat cafe, I have found something she's willing to eat. She actually growled and hissed at fancy feast when I offered it, but she'll eat Nulo (of course she wants the more expensive one) so I can make sure she doesn't starve until I can get her some of the science diet that they use and feed it to her (along with whatever wet food she'll accept) until she's more settled in and I can work on getting her on a better diet that I can also afford.

My resident cat is doing better, too! She's still eating and while her playing is more subdued, she's definitely interested in her toys, and she purrs pretty enthusiastically when I pet her. She's desensitized to Missy's meows fairly quickly, probably because Missy just hardly ever shuts up. She hasn't really hissed in a while, and I praise her and pet her whenever she approaches the door separating them.

Mischief hasn't cried as much, either, since I found some food she likes, and managed to play with her a bit. She doesn't chase wands as easily as my resident cat, so we had to make do with a couple of boxes and a pride flag as toys, but she seemed to have fun.

Overall, things are going a little better today. This is encouraging! I was exhausted and really worried about them today at work so it's good to see that there's a little progress.

 

[KarenKat]

First of all I don’t think you have botched the intros - I rushed our intro of Olive and it may have gone smoother with more patience but it still worked out ok.

As for the door, would you be able to put a baby gate there? Idk how the sliding door is configured and if it could work while closed.

What really helped us was using a large piece of cardboard to separate line of sight while walking through doors. That might help to prevent escapes.

 

[Sonatine]

First of all I don’t think you have botched the intros - I rushed our intro of Olive and it may have gone smoother with more patience but it still worked out ok.

As for the door, would you be able to put a baby gate there? Idk how the sliding door is configured and if it could work while closed.

What really helped us was using a large piece of cardboard to separate line of sight while walking through doors. That might help to prevent escapes.

Right now I'm making do with a big box. Millie's short enough that it blocks her line of sight. I'm worried that the cats would just jump a baby gate. Mischief might be too clumsy to manage it, but then again she's a pretty big cat. Millie definitely could jump a gate (that cat does backflips at five feet, chubby or not) but she wouldn't want to. I might add a baby gate or something when we've progressed far enough along that I'm not worried about what might happen if one of them jumped the gate (even now I don't think they'd fight or anything but I wanna try to give Millie time).

That said, it might not end up being necessary. Millie has stopped hissing and is instead responding to Mischief's meowing with a (somewhat weird sounding) meow of her own (almost like she's trying to be civil). She no longer seems to mind being up on the bed or laying in sight of the door, at least not if I'm in the room with her. Mischief also isn't trying as hard to get in. I think she's starting to understand that she isn't allowed in there right now.

Thanks to everyone for the encouragement

 

[KarenKat]

Yeah, baby gate jumping is for sure going to happen. But it can disrupt them enough sometimes too. I say go with what is easiest for you.

 

[Lari]

She doesn't chase wands as easily as my resident cat, so we had to make do with a couple of boxes and a pride flag as toys, but she seemed to have fun.

I mean, why settle for wands when you can have boxes and flags?

 

[Sonatine]

We have more progress! Millie approached the door on her own for the first time. I had just left my room to be with Mischief (I'm switching between the two; it's not as hard as it was) and I guess she was wondering what I was doing.

Of course, Mischief was right on the other side. Millie hissed and growled a little, but stopped when I reassured her and slid her a few treats through the door. I also dangled a wand toy through the door and she batted at it; anything to make her associate the new cat with good things. Mischief's tail was twitching, but she didn't hiss, and she put a paw through the door. They're not quite at the point of touching noses yet or anything, but Millie not being afraid anymore (and maybe a bit curious instead of just defensive) seems to be a step in the right direction.

Edit: well, they did sniff each other. It wasn't entirely peaceful. Somebody hissed and there was paw swiping. I couldn't quite tell who was hissing, and while it was Mischief doing the pawing, from behind it wasn't easy to tell if it was more curious/playful or hostile. Still, they both calmed down quickly and are right back at the door; I fed them both on each side of it. So hopefully things are still moving along.

Edit #2: They're now laying on opposite sides of the door with no hostility! I feel kinda bad because I'm pretty sure it's largely because my resident cat is tired of being cooped up and having to share my attention. I'm gonna start switching their rooms tomorrow.

 

[Sonatine]

Another update: I tried switching the girls' rooms today. Apparently little Millie has forgotten that she lives in the rest of the apartment because she freaked out just a little (mind, her "freaking out" isn't all that dramatic, just that she was a little unhappy for a while).

I decided to go ahead and try it because resident cat Millie seemed to want to leave my bedroom; she was approaching the door and trying to get it open (my sliding doors are cracked open, and due to warping of the aged wood, actually can't be fully closed, so she can get her little paws through). But it turned out that she actually just wanted me, not to visit the rest of the apartment (I shouldn't be surprised; she used her little paws to try and pull me through the door last night and it was both adorable and heartbreaking).

Once I realized things were not going quite as smoothly as I hoped (she was sulking by the bedroom door and hissing at new cat for messing with her stuff), I sprayed some feliway and played that music for cats that you can buy, and that seemed to calm things down a bit. I've since moved them back, and ultimately I don't think any harm was done.

It's clear we've still got a ways to go. I do want to switch them more over the coming days/weeks, mostly so that Millie doesn't forget that the rest of the apartment is also hers, and allow herself to be sequestered in the bedroom by new cat.

Bonus: pictures of Millie sulking by the door.

In conclusion, although I am the one who adopted the cats, I feel like I am the object of a custody battle between them.

 

[Sonatine]

Another update. They spent time in the same room, without any significant hostility! Millie hissed a couple of times but I distracted them before it could go any further.

In theory, it would be dumb to allow them together so soon, but something just told me that it would be okay. I was playing with Missy and I could tell that Millie wanted to play too. She would bat at a toy I waved through the door, and even after she hissed at Missy she'd then bat at her retreating tail, and it looked more playful than mean (clearly my cat is conflicted).

So I cracked the door enough that Millie could get out if she wanted to, and she did! I guess she only panicked earlier because she couldn't get access to the bedroom where she felt safest. She sniffed around and Mischief was on her best behavior, flopping on her side and mostly giving Millie her space (I'd distract her by throwing a toy if she seemed to be getting closer than Millie liked). I even got Millie to bat at one of her favorite toys a bit while she was out, though she was still skittish.

Millie did go back to her room after a few minutes and to my dismay Mischief was already in there but she didn't immediately chase her out. I had a feeling that an altercation would be much more likely on Millie's turf, though, so I stayed between them. Mischief's smart enough to know when she's not wanted (I actually think she's a lot smarter than I gave her credit for), so she headed for the door. I did close it again (as much as it can be closed; the wood's too warped for me to do more than crack it); no need to push our luck. (though just a second ago she was staring out again, watching Missy play with a box looking suspiciously like she might like to join in).

But this feels like progress!

 

[Sonatine]

I hope these updates aren't getting too annoying. It's just nice to have an outlet for them.

Millie really likes the special cat music, and when I played some she wanted to come out into the living room. She explored there, scratched a post, and even played a little without hissing at Mischief at all. Mischief was absolutely perfect, following at a distance and being friendly but not pushing her. I think she really, desperately wants to be friends with Millie.

I hope Millie comes around soon, for Mischief's sake. She gets lonely even when I'm with her. I sometimes worry I'm pushing things too fast, but I think that the new cat really needs the company of another cat, and I have to think of her wellbeing as well as Millie's. She's always quieter and more relaxed after Millie has been with her, even if they don't interact or she gets hissed at.

They'll sniff noses through the door; Millie often hisses right after, but occasionally does not. Mischief will put a paw through the door and bat playfully; Millie sometimes tolerates it, sometimes hisses. Her behavior in her room and outside of it is much more normal than it was at first; she'll meow at me, rub up against me, and demand attention almost as much as she did when she was on her own. The only redirected aggression I've experienced is a hiss or two; I can live with that.

Current state of affairs: I still close the door (as much as it will close, courtesy of living in a very old building), but if Millie wants to come out, I let her. I do supervise to make sure that Mischief doesn't try to pounce on Millie or corner her (even if she's just playing I don't think Millie would be too happy). Eventually I hope to hover less; there are some things they'll need to sort out themselves. I don't give Mischief free run of Millie's room. She's still rather territorial about it, and it would also be a lot harder to catch her if things went south.

 

[Sonatine]

Another update... god I must be so annoying. But I have a week off from work and a new cat and not many other people to tell about it.

I opened the door and left it. They've been touching noses occasionally (not much hissing now), and sitting on the same cat tree with no issues. Millie clearly wants to play with Missy's tail, she just doesn't want to admit it yet. If I throw a toy for Mischief to chase, Millie will perch on top of the couch and run along.

I'll separate them later if I think either one needs a break, and I'm sure there will still be a few bumps and setbacks along the way (they're cats, after all). But I think I can say that my cats are coexisting!

 

[KarenKat]

That’s wonderful to hear! Honestly I smget super jealous when I hear such good interactions relatively quickly. We just got to nose-touching where Olive doesn’t follow it with a swat and Gohan doesn’t get offended. It’s only taken 20 months to get there

But such great progress is super exciting! We love hearing updates, I just sometimes have spotty notifications so I didn’t see that you posted a few of them.

Also, I think this phrase made my day:

Millie clearly wants to play with Missy's tail, she just doesn't want to admit it yet.

Love it!

 

[Sonatine]

Not murdering each other is a first step to being best friends, right? Mischief has calmed down so much since allowing them together. Before she was constantly crying and now she's much quieter and more content. It's a good thing she wasn't adopted to be an only cat...

That’s wonderful to hear! Honestly I smget super jealous when I hear such good interactions relatively quickly. We just got to nose-touching where Olive doesn’t follow it with a swat and Gohan doesn’t get offended. It’s only taken 20 months to get there

But such great progress is super exciting! We love hearing updates, I just sometimes have spotty notifications so I didn’t see that you posted a few of them.

Also, I think this phrase made my day:


Love it!

I realize that I'm ridiculously lucky that it was this quick. I would have hated if it had stretched on for months since splitting my apartment in two wasn't super comfortable for anybody.

Mischief is the MVP here; she wanted so badly to be with another cat that she was willing to put up with just about anything without aggression.

And congrats that your cats are finally starting to be civil! Keep fighting the good fight, and you'll get there! I admire your patience.

 

[KarenKat]

Thanks! While patience needed to be had, there weren’t bloody fights and we weren’t split for terribly long. We could have them comingle around 6 months and the chases calmed down a few months after. Now it’s just kind of fun watching them test each other’s limits and slowly get more comfortable with each other.