Cat Introduction Not Going Well

[paws4real]

A little background first. A month ago, we adopted 2yr old Freida. Her previous owners surrendered her and her brother to the local shelter due to the owner's health. The brother, who was more outgoing, was adopted within a couple of weeks. So until we adopted her 2 months later, Freida was kept in a separate room by herself because she was, and is, a little bit on the shy side. But she’s very affectionate and playful with my husband and I.

Our resident cat, 14yr old Abby, has been with me since she was 6mos old. Until last year, Abby had a companion in her “brother” who was 3 years older than she was. They got along great. In fact, their introduction was done in 4 days and they were besties ever since. Sadly, her brother passed away so she’s been alone since then. Abby is also shy and I would say, a bit on the nervous side. Sudden movement, loud noises, and other people bother her. She leaves the house when we have visitors. She’s indoor/outdoor and, remarkably, stays in her own backyard. She is very demanding when it comes to getting my attention and is quite a vocal cat, but usually sweet natured. And maybe slightly spoiled! We thought, given Freida’s disposition, that it might be a good fit, but apparently we were wrong.

We tried doing the introduction slowly according to everything that we’ve learned from other sources and it’s just not working. For example, Abby is not enticed by food or play so trying to feed her or distract her with toys doesn’t work. Not even tuna will get her to come down the hall to feed on the other side of the door and several feet away from Freida. She will eventually, but long after Freida has finished eating and we are out of sight. They’re very aware of each other’s scents now. When Abby is outside, we close the pet door to the backyard, and let Freida come out to explore the rest of the house. We’ve put Freida’s blanket out near Abby spot and visa versa. Neither one gets anxious about it.. They just sniff and move on.

We bought a pet gate to put in the spare bedroom doorway and they've now had visual contact. Hissing and meowing loudly on Abby’s part and Freida runs under the bed. Abby eventually leaves, but she’s clearly agitated. So we close the door and start from scratch, but the same thing happens. One time, we forgot to close the pet door, Freida was out exploring, and Abby came in and proceeded to chase Freida down the hall, into Freida’s room, and under the bed. No bloodshed, but lots of hissing and growling. I had to squirt Abby with some water in order to get her to leave. Just yesterday, we had a towel draped over the gate so they couldn’t see each other, and Abby squeezed through on a side that we obviously left a little too wide, and again, she chased Freida under the bed. I heard the commotion and managed to throw a towel over Abby to remove her. She was upset for quite some time.

I’m at a loss at what to do at this point. I feel like the cats need to see each other and work things out on either side of the gate and maybe, at some point, we can let them be out together. But I’m afraid to do more damage. Any advice would be appreciated and I’m sorry this post is so long but I felt you needed some detail of the situation.

Thank you

 

[lisahe]

These situations can be so fraught, P paws4real ! We've had to reintroduce our two cats twice, after medical procedures... and they're littermates.

We made a lot of mistakes the first time we had to reintroduce. Based on our experience (which isn't a lot, though the mistakes were valuable learning experiences), I'd probably suggest returning to a situation where Freida and Abby can't see each other. What worked best for us was similar to a lot of what you're doing but there may be small things that are different. All cats are different, too, of course, and you'll need a fair bit of trial and error, but here's what worked for us:

-Keeping the two cats separated by a solid door that has a gap at the bottom.
-Using towels and cat blankets to "scent swap," rubbing each cat with the towels/blankets and moving those things between the two cats' living areas. The more you can have going at any one time, the better, particularly if the towels and blankets are in areas the cats actively use.
-Like you, we let them switch places so they'd have plenty of opportunity to smell each others' scents around the house. That way neither cat was shut into a single room for too long. (That didn't apply, of course, right after one had abdominal surgery...)
-When they stopped "major" hissing at doorways (we learned to tell when hissing was and wasn't serious), we started feeding them treats on both sides of a door. They gradually worked up to meals on both sides of a door; sometimes I even switched their dishes.
-After that, we cautiously started feeding them treats in doorways, with the door open very slightly. It helps to have lots of treats to toss and a laser pointer to distract them. (I'd suggest a laser pointer over a squirt gun -- what the cats are doing is instinct.)
-Since you have a gate, you could advance to feeding on each side of the gate. We did that, too, with a screen.
-We eventually got to the point where we could lead them to a sort of DMZ, our veranda, which was neither cat's territory. I brought lots of treats (freeze-dried chicken is perfect since it's low-calorie), sat on the floor, and slowly fed them treats. This takes a lot of patience: I had to feed them simultaneously. If the cats did well, I gave the treats closer and closer together.
-Sometimes they'd still hiss a bit even when they were doing okay. We've found that the surest sign they're making big progress is when one cat sniffs the other's butt and there's no (bad) hissing. If an aggressive butt sniff doesn't cause a problem, they're probably close to being able to be left alone.
-Most of all: take this slowly. It's painstaking and awful but I can say from experience that painfully slow is better than having to start from the beginning more than twice.

Many people have good success with Feliway, particularly the multi-cat kind or (I think?) Feliway Optiumum. Some people also wipe their cats down with things like tuna juice, from a can! Apparently it sometimes resolves the situation instantly. I did that with our cats the first time we had this problem. It didn't resolve the problem instantly but it did defuse tension between them for a while.

Anyway, those are our best tips. Maybe something in there will help you, too. Ultimately, though, not everything in advice articles worked for us and we had to follow our own instinct. And the vet's advice, to not leave them alone until you're absolutely sure they're not going to hurt each other. I felt fortunate that we got to the point where we could sense it. It took us weeks (three or four, I don't remember exactly) the first time we had to reintroduce the cats.

Good luck! I'm sure you'll get lots of other advice and suggestions. Pick what you think might work best for you, the cats, and the layout of your house or apartment.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Things are not quite so bad as you think that they are. Cat introductions take as long as they take, and a month is really very little time when two fully adult cats are involved. Also, two females can take longer to bond. I have heard that it is because of their instinct to secure the best places for future kittens, and being spayed does not take that away...it is in the brain, not the girl bits.

I'm going to link you to several of our articles, some directly about introductions, some about side issues, just in case! They are fairly short, clearly written, and easy reads.

Introducing Cats To Cats – TheCatSite Articles
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide – TheCatSite Articles
How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction – TheCatSite Articles
Do Cats Get Jealous? (and What To Do About It When They Do) – TheCatSite Articles
10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat – TheCatSite Articles
How To Safely Break Up A Cat Fight – TheCatSite Articles

 

[paws4real]

Thank you lisahe and Mamanyt1953 for your responses. All very good tips and articles. I agree that all cats are different and will respond in different ways so I'm not expecting all advice will work but I'm willing to try them. I especially liked the one about shy cats. It describes our Abby to a tee. Freida is a little bit more sociable than that but still a little timid now. Understandable. She's still trying to figure things out in her new home. We had some small successes last night and this morning during feeding times. Using treats, I finally got Abby to come down the hall to her food bowls. She usually eats in the kitchen so this is part of the problem too. But she ate for a few minutes and could hear Freida eating too. The cats were about 7 feet apart with the door in Freida's room open and the gate up with a towel draped over it so they couldn't see each other. No issues. After eating a little, Abby left. She didn't finish all her food. She never does and has always been used to grazing all day, but we're not letting her do that right now. Anyway, afterwards, we closed Freida's door and moved Abby's food bowls closer to the bedroom door. About 4ft. She went down the hall a few times during the next hour or so to eat more. We have a camera in Freida's room so we could watch her reaction. She just sat on the other side of the door and listened. Abby went up to the door and meowed a few times but it seemed harmless and Freida didn't seem concerned. I also went into Freida's room to play with her using her string toy. She was racing around the room, Abby heard her, and came to the door and meowed. So I pushed the string toy under the door to see if she would interact and she did! It didn't last long and maybe it's possible that she thought she was playing with Freida because Freida was sitting right next to me curiously watching. A victory in my mind!

 

[Furballsmom]

She never does and has always been used to grazing all day, but we're not letting her do that right now

I absolutely would start weighing her once a week so that you're sure the change in how you're feeding her isn't having an unintended consequence.

I personally wouldn't have done this anyway since she has enough changes she's dealing with, but as long as she doesn't lose weight over the next weeks you'll have dodged a bullet.

 

[paws4real]

I absolutely would start weighing her once a week so that you're sure the change in how you're feeding her isn't having an unintended consequence.

I personally wouldn't have done this anyway since she has enough changes she's dealing with, but as long as she doesn't lose weight over the next weeks you'll have dodged a bullet.

Good point. I'll start weighing her and if I notice any weight loss, I'll go back to her normal feeding. Thank you!

 

[Furballsmom]

 

[lisahe]

All those things sound like great progress, P paws4real ! Keep taking things very slowly, watching for nervousness from both cats and taking small steps back if need be. (This was where we made our worst mistakes... not taking those steps back when we should have!)

 

[paws4real]

So it’s a week later and we still aren’t letting Abby & Freida see each other, but there’s been some improvement during feeding times. We’ve been able to get Abby (14yr old resident cat) up close to the pet gate to eat her food. About 2ft from Freida (new 2yr old). We were at 7ft so this is a pretty big deal. We have some towels draped over the gate so they can’t see each other. Abby has been sticking around a little longer to eat and doesn’t seem as nervous. Freida has no problem with this and continues to eat knowing Abby is on the other side. Abby is very curious about Freida and will go up to the cat gate several times throughout the day and will try to find an opening to peek through. This morning she followed me down the hall and we stood outside the gate. Freida was sitting a couple of feet away and was very relaxed. Abby meowed a few times, but it was a normal meow. Freida came right up to the gate and also tried to find a spot to peek through. Well, they found one. Abby’s meow was a little more agitated this time (not a growl) and Freida hissed at her, then ran under the bed. I was watching Abby and noticed her tail was wagging slowly, side to side, and low to the ground. The whole interaction didn’t seem aggressive to me. Just some posturing.

I’m wondering if we should start feeding them with the towels raised a little bit so they can see each other? And we’d move Abby back to the 7ft mark to start out. What do you think? Or should we continue to keep visual access off limits for a while longer? I definitely don’t want to ruin the progress we’ve made so far but I’m also concerned about keeping Freida in the spare bedroom for long periods of time. We do let her out when Abby is outside so she can explore the house, but when Abby wants to come in, we make sure that Freida is back in her room. We also try to spend time playing with her throughout the day. But sometimes she stands by the gate and meows to be let out. I’m feeling guilty about that too. Thanks for your help.

 

[Furballsmom]

I’m wondering if we should start feeding them with the towels raised a little bit so they can see each other? And we’d move Abby back to the 7ft mark to start out.

I think you could try this and see what they do.

 

[lisahe]

I think you could try this and see what they do.

I agree! It sounds like they've made some decent progress. I'd just suggest not changing too much in any one meal... or even day... unless you're very sure they've made significant improvement. (We made mistakes that took days to fix so I'm very cautious now.)

I understand feeling guilty about keeping a cat shut in; I did, too, but there's no way around it. Letting them switch (so the cats alternate who's shut in) helps but even so.

Good luck! Let us know what happens next.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

By all means, switch up who is shut in. This is nicer for the cats, and, even better, the smell of BOTH cats ends up being all over the house. This will help them accept each other, as well.

 

[lisahe]

By all means, switch up who is shut in. This is nicer for the cats, and, even better, the smell of BOTH cats ends up being all over the house. This will help them accept each other, as well.

Exactly! We found that switching up the locations and smells fairly frequently helped a lot, both for cat morale and the reintroduction process itself.

 

[paws4real]

It’s been a few weeks since I posted so I wanted to give you an update on how the introduction is going between Abby and Freida. We still have the pet gate in place but the cats now have full visual access to each other. They are feeding about 5ft from each other. Both are still a bit nervous about it, but they eat their food, looking up occasionally to look at the other, but go back to eating. Abby is always the first to finish (because she never eats all her food at once) and will calmly walk away. No fussing at all.

During non-feeding times, we will let Freida out to be in the rest of the house when Abby is outside. The pet door to the outside is shut so Abby can’t get in. We forgot to do that a couple of times: Abby came in, Freida ran, and the chase down the hall to the spare bedroom ended under the bed with Freida growling and Abby yowling. It always sets Freida back when that’s happened and then she’s afraid to come out of her room. So we’ve been extra careful about it lately.

I should also mention that even when Freida does come out to explore, she never stays for very long. She always goes back to her room and she’ll do this repeatedly. Back and forth, back and forth. But we know she wants that gate to be open so she can come out when she wants. And when it’s closed (when Abby is in), she meows to be let out. That is, until Abby walks down the hall to investigate, then she quiets down.

We put in some cameras so we could see what was going on by the gate when my husband and I are in the family room, which is in the back of the house, and in the same room where the pet door to the backyard is. The hallway, where the pet gate is, leads to the bedrooms in the front of the house. Abby will come in from outside and walk down the hall to the gate. Freida is usually sitting in one of the bedroom doorways. They stare at each other and then Abby will walk away. No growling or hissing. But, if Freida is sitting at the gate when Abby walks down the hall, then Abby charges the gate and Freida runs back to one of the bedrooms. Then there is hissing and growling. Every once in a while, Freida holds her ground and Abby takes a swipe at her through the gate, but Freida doesn’t reciprocate, she just runs away.

Another thing we noticed: If my husband is playing with Freida in the bedroom when Abby walks down the hall, all is well, but when I’m the one playing with Freida, Abby has a fit. She meows very loudly and is quite agitated. Freida doesn’t seem too concerned. I’m the only person Abby has ever bonded with. Abby was only 3yrs old when my husband and I met and he moved in 2yrs later and then we got married. She’s never warmed up to him in all these years. She’s 14 now. As long as I’m near, she’s okay with him being close by too, but she doesn’t want him to pet her. Abby will also leave the house if we have guests over. She’s not interested in any other people but me.

So any ideas how we can solve this problem? We were starting to feel good about the progress we were making and felt like Freida was gaining some confidence, albeit slowly, but now we’re concerned that Abby is never going to allow Freida to be anywhere near me. I’ve been trying to pay extra attention to Abby so that she won’t feel like I’m abandoning her for Freida, but I’m not sure it’s doing any good. In the meantime, we don’t feel like we can let them be in the same room together and the pet gate needs to stay in place. Any thoughts?

 

[Furballsmom]

Keep doing what you're doing. You're on cat time, and you can go only as fast as the slowest-to-acclimate cat will go.
Abby may remain cranky, but reading Freida's reaction it seems to me that you may be more sensitive to Abby in this particular situation that Freida is.

I apologize, I don't remember but do you have calming plugins going?

This may help;
Do Cats Get Jealous? (and What To Do About It When They Do) – TheCatSite Articles

 

[paws4real]

Yes, we have we have calming agents in the hallway and in the family room. Okay, we'll keep doing what we're doing and hope that Abby will start to settle down. This is much harder than I thought it was going to be, but we will prevail! (I hope ) I never had this problem introducing cats before, but I know they each have their own personalities and we just have two that are very apprehensive.

Thanks

 

[Furballsmom]

 

[lisahe]

Yes, we have we have calming agents in the hallway and in the family room. Okay, we'll keep doing what we're doing and hope that Abby will start to settle down. This is much harder than I thought it was going to be, but we will prevail! (I hope ) I never had this problem introducing cats before, but I know they each have their own personalities and we just have two that are very apprehensive.

Thanks

It sounds like you're doing all the right things. And it sounds like Abby is doing her best to try to continue to own what she sees as her territory. Keep letting them both explore all areas and keep doing scent swaps with towels, blankets, or other cloths. It's amazing how the mistakes -- we made them, too! -- can be important in their own way, letting you know both how far you've come and how much you still have left to go.

I'm not sure what to say about your question on attention for Abby and Freida. Each of our two cats -- they're littermates and also (as the vet put it) two queens -- has a tendency to get envious and naughty if the other cat is getting "all" the attention. My husband is really good at giving each something to play with/do while he switches off by patting them, brushing them, or tossing a toy. Even so, Ireland often looks dejected if she perceives herself as not getting enough attention. Then she sometimes snaps at Edwina; they occasionally even have little fistfights. I think that's fairly normal, though, based on what other catmoms have told me.

Anyway, it's great that you're staying patient. I know how stressful this can be.