- Joined
- Sep 28, 2021
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Hi everyone,
After reading tons of incredibly helpful threads here, I decided to share my cat intro with you and ask for advice.
I have a neutered male cat named Bentie who is 1 year and 2 months old. He was born in my backyard but we decided to bring him in and make him an indoor cat at around 5 months. He's an amazing cat, laid back, he comes to us every morning purring and kneading on us. He's quite a big cat at almost 6 kg and he's not very active except for noon and dusk.
In late July, I saw a 3.5 month old female kitten and started feeding her. Shortly after I left for vacation but I left a feeder for her and the other stray cats. So she stayed there the entire time and even after I returned, she never left the yard. Bentie could smell her the entire time and in fact while we were on vacation, we saw through the cameras that he spent most of his day by the back yard door. He meowed at her and tried to open the door, as if he wanted to play with her.
Long story short, after returning from our vacation, she tried everything to get into the house and he did everything to meet her. I took her to the vet for vaccinations and tests and I decided to bring her in. We named her Pixie. She's a small cat weighing 2,3 kg at almost 6 months.
As they had already spent close to a month of getting used to each other's smell, had briefly seen each other and tried to play footsies under the door, I thought let's not do a proper cat intro and keep them together and monitor them. At first they were fine with each other, he tried to play with her but she was more interested in playing with the toys and exploring the house.
After a few hours, things started to get ugly - he stared at her, chased her and mounted her but she didn't like that at all and hissed, growled and hid under the furniture. It looked like he wanted to play with her and she was just being a drama queen.
So we decided to do a proper cat intro instead and spay her, in case her hormones were driving him crazy and the mounting was not domination. We set up a room for her and did the first part with the closed door for a couple of days. We cracked open the door while feeding and everyone was happy. We opened the door and they were both eating fine. When she was in her room, he'd often roll on the floor outside of the door and meow as if he wanted to play with her.
She doesn't seem very interested in playing with him but they do touch noses every day before eating. On the other hand, he stares at her all the time and watches her every move. As soon as she moves or runs to play with the toys, he chases her and grabs her by the neck. Other times, it looks like wrestling. Anyway, she hates that and she hisses and then growls and most of the time she runs under the furniture but never runs to her room. She usually stays there for a few minutes and then comes out to play but I can see that she's stressed and fearful of Bentie. This happens again and again. They still eat together, no problems with the litterbox and other than their encounters, they seem perfectly happy when they're not in the same room.
We were taking things slow with their meetings and they lasted for only a few minutes, twice or thrice a day plus 3 times when they would eat their meals. When there's food involved, everyone's happy. When we try to play with her, she's more than happy but won't go more than a meter close to Bentie. He, on the other hand, has no interest in playing with toys or us when he's with her and he fixes his gaze onto her. He waits to see when she's not looking or just laying on the floor and jumps at her then.
I figured it's dominance since both are fixed now and I haven't seen a single wound or a drop of blood. She does get aggressive after Bentie grabs her by the neck and bites his legs, ears and face but she's not done any real damage. When she defends herself, he gets angry and gets more aggressive with her too. If I separate them at that moment, Bentie redirects his aggression on me and bites me but soon realizes it's his mom and stops. But he does look very frustrated and starts stalking her again.
Pixie has also redirected her aggression on me and I can tell that it's not a light bite but neither is breaking skin (nor theirs or mine). We decided to let them in the same room for a couple of hours until they figure out each other and the hierarchy. It does seem to get slightly better but I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. We're currently towards the end of the 4th week.
I have a Feliway Friends diffuser in the room where they hang out together.
I've put them near each other when they were sleeping and Bentie started grooming her. Both were annoyed but no biting and they even slept together for an hour.
One thing I find very interesting is that Bentie has never hissed or growled at Pixie, while she does that to him every day.
Here's a clip of Bentie stalking her and another when she fought back and things got ugly (she's the one you hear).
Is this domination thing a phase that I need to let them sort out themselves? Do you see any signs of real aggression that need action on my part?
Thank you in advance and sorry for the super long post!
After reading tons of incredibly helpful threads here, I decided to share my cat intro with you and ask for advice.
I have a neutered male cat named Bentie who is 1 year and 2 months old. He was born in my backyard but we decided to bring him in and make him an indoor cat at around 5 months. He's an amazing cat, laid back, he comes to us every morning purring and kneading on us. He's quite a big cat at almost 6 kg and he's not very active except for noon and dusk.
In late July, I saw a 3.5 month old female kitten and started feeding her. Shortly after I left for vacation but I left a feeder for her and the other stray cats. So she stayed there the entire time and even after I returned, she never left the yard. Bentie could smell her the entire time and in fact while we were on vacation, we saw through the cameras that he spent most of his day by the back yard door. He meowed at her and tried to open the door, as if he wanted to play with her.
Long story short, after returning from our vacation, she tried everything to get into the house and he did everything to meet her. I took her to the vet for vaccinations and tests and I decided to bring her in. We named her Pixie. She's a small cat weighing 2,3 kg at almost 6 months.
As they had already spent close to a month of getting used to each other's smell, had briefly seen each other and tried to play footsies under the door, I thought let's not do a proper cat intro and keep them together and monitor them. At first they were fine with each other, he tried to play with her but she was more interested in playing with the toys and exploring the house.
After a few hours, things started to get ugly - he stared at her, chased her and mounted her but she didn't like that at all and hissed, growled and hid under the furniture. It looked like he wanted to play with her and she was just being a drama queen.
So we decided to do a proper cat intro instead and spay her, in case her hormones were driving him crazy and the mounting was not domination. We set up a room for her and did the first part with the closed door for a couple of days. We cracked open the door while feeding and everyone was happy. We opened the door and they were both eating fine. When she was in her room, he'd often roll on the floor outside of the door and meow as if he wanted to play with her.
She doesn't seem very interested in playing with him but they do touch noses every day before eating. On the other hand, he stares at her all the time and watches her every move. As soon as she moves or runs to play with the toys, he chases her and grabs her by the neck. Other times, it looks like wrestling. Anyway, she hates that and she hisses and then growls and most of the time she runs under the furniture but never runs to her room. She usually stays there for a few minutes and then comes out to play but I can see that she's stressed and fearful of Bentie. This happens again and again. They still eat together, no problems with the litterbox and other than their encounters, they seem perfectly happy when they're not in the same room.
We were taking things slow with their meetings and they lasted for only a few minutes, twice or thrice a day plus 3 times when they would eat their meals. When there's food involved, everyone's happy. When we try to play with her, she's more than happy but won't go more than a meter close to Bentie. He, on the other hand, has no interest in playing with toys or us when he's with her and he fixes his gaze onto her. He waits to see when she's not looking or just laying on the floor and jumps at her then.
I figured it's dominance since both are fixed now and I haven't seen a single wound or a drop of blood. She does get aggressive after Bentie grabs her by the neck and bites his legs, ears and face but she's not done any real damage. When she defends herself, he gets angry and gets more aggressive with her too. If I separate them at that moment, Bentie redirects his aggression on me and bites me but soon realizes it's his mom and stops. But he does look very frustrated and starts stalking her again.
Pixie has also redirected her aggression on me and I can tell that it's not a light bite but neither is breaking skin (nor theirs or mine). We decided to let them in the same room for a couple of hours until they figure out each other and the hierarchy. It does seem to get slightly better but I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. We're currently towards the end of the 4th week.
I have a Feliway Friends diffuser in the room where they hang out together.
I've put them near each other when they were sleeping and Bentie started grooming her. Both were annoyed but no biting and they even slept together for an hour.
One thing I find very interesting is that Bentie has never hissed or growled at Pixie, while she does that to him every day.
Here's a clip of Bentie stalking her and another when she fought back and things got ugly (she's the one you hear).
Is this domination thing a phase that I need to let them sort out themselves? Do you see any signs of real aggression that need action on my part?
Thank you in advance and sorry for the super long post!