Cat Intro Going Really Badly

[radarlove413]

After your message I spoke to my vet and asked about clomicalm. He’s instead put her on calmeze syrup which he said is the same. I’m wondering if clomicalm or calmeze is homeopathic or not. I’m hoping it works either way.

Your message has really really helped. You’re very right in saying how Pittan has no idea if squeaks is friend or foe. But, she seems to be accepting of her if she is being fed or squeaks is locked up tight in a playpen.
What you had said about Dunlop and cocoa having a go at each other and your mum said it’s ok, working it out, did they follow each other and keep the fight going or was it just the chasing off and the fight ending? This is where I’m struggling. I can’t seem to gauge what’s ok and what’s not anymore. There’s just always fights! So I try to keep her in the playpen as much as possible or in a room and them bring out for treats etc.
the aggression exhaustion is happening but I have to sit between them to make sure Pittan doesn’t lunge at playpen and to distract her when she focuses in on squeaks.
This all however will come to a bit of a break as I have to fly for a wedding next week. Had hoped it would’ve been sorted by now really! My dad normally keeps Pittan when we travel and my friends have agreed to keep squeaks. I’m hoping it won’t set us back with any progress (not much in truth). Is it too much to hope that the stress of being in a car/different environments/space apart/smelling different might help with this whole drama? Or is this just being too hopefull?

Hope the ‘night terrors’ sort themselves out soon! Prime bed cuddle space is hard to come by. There are after all only so many legs to lean on Toes to nibble.

I'm glad my message helped! That's a good sign that they are alright with a barrier by the, and eating. With the fight, Dunlop did follow Cocoa across our house and down into the basement. Cocoa wasn't fighting back, and he was huddled in a submissive pose with a bit of growling. When he stopped moving, Dunlop started to back down. Eventually, he "allowed" Cocoa to hide under a cabinet, then after half an hour, allowed him to crawl out, and they kind-of uneasily laid next to each other. (Until the next visits).

It depends on personalities too. Dunlop had lived with a female tortie, and a female siamese before (before I lived with my husband). He's been the kind of cat who needs to have a full on smackdown with the other cat for a few times, then he can assess their threat level and accept them. When Dunlop lived with the siamese, they got along super well. Once and a while, they'd go up to each other, smack the other three or four times, as if to say "Hey I can still take you in a fight and WIN" and then just walk away.

So, when we introduced Don, we knew some conflicts were going to happen. Short intros did not work, again, since Don was a quick, confident kitty and Dunlop was way too stressed out because he couldn't be an alpha with Don. So, we finally just opened the door and let Don explore, and Dunlop mostly followed him. He got overwhelmed after an hour and we separated them. This went on for a few days, until we started leaving them out during the day. Since Don also has alpha tendencies, they'd puff and posture, but since they weren't launching at each other constantly, we let the do their "kitty fencing." They had two really good fights that we had to use a blanket to break up. They came outta nowhere, and there was screaming and a cat ball rolling around the house. We still don't know who won, but after the second time, they both just stared at each other a bit and avoided each other. For six months after that, sometimes we'd hear screeching/yowling and go clap to break it up, then they'd separate and calm down on their own, and did their own things. They never actually did more than take some fur out during this entire time, so that's how we knew to let them cat it out, in our situation. Our rule was if we heard screeching for longer than 30 seconds-a minute, we'd go break it up. Long enough to assert dominance, not long enough for them to get blinded by kitty rage. Again, this just worked in that intro with our two headstrong males. They will sometimes still have little tussels if one decides they want to be alpha, but have no problems laying next to each other, playing side by side, or eating together.

This is why we thought Cocoa, a submissive cat, would be great for our third cat. Now we're guessing the boys are having trouble respecting the wimp, too.

How long will you be gone for the wedding? (Just curious. We usually have a cat sitter who comes to see our boys twice a day when we're gone, I like hearing about what others do when they go away haha). If it's for more than a few days, I'd maybe go back to introductions at stage 1 for a little bit, since they would have been separated and not used the scent of the other anymore. It could be good or bad, but hopefully good! Depends on how much of a grudge Pittan decides to hold

 

[Natashan]

Oh no

I'm glad my message helped! That's a good sign that they are alright with a barrier by the, and eating. With the fight, Dunlop did follow Cocoa across our house and down into the basement. Cocoa wasn't fighting back, and he was huddled in a submissive pose with a bit of growling. When he stopped moving, Dunlop started to back down. Eventually, he "allowed" Cocoa to hide under a cabinet, then after half an hour, allowed him to crawl out, and they kind-of uneasily laid next to each other. (Until the next visits).

It depends on personalities too. Dunlop had lived with a female tortie, and a female siamese before (before I lived with my husband). He's been the kind of cat who needs to have a full on smackdown with the other cat for a few times, then he can assess their threat level and accept them. When Dunlop lived with the siamese, they got along super well. Once and a while, they'd go up to each other, smack the other three or four times, as if to say "Hey I can still take you in a fight and WIN" and then just walk away.

So, when we introduced Don, we knew some conflicts were going to happen. Short intros did not work, again, since Don was a quick, confident kitty and Dunlop was way too stressed out because he couldn't be an alpha with Don. So, we finally just opened the door and let Don explore, and Dunlop mostly followed him. He got overwhelmed after an hour and we separated them. This went on for a few days, until we started leaving them out during the day. Since Don also has alpha tendencies, they'd puff and posture, but since they weren't launching at each other constantly, we let the do their "kitty fencing." They had two really good fights that we had to use a blanket to break up. They came outta nowhere, and there was screaming and a cat ball rolling around the house. We still don't know who won, but after the second time, they both just stared at each other a bit and avoided each other. For six months after that, sometimes we'd hear screeching/yowling and go clap to break it up, then they'd separate and calm down on their own, and did their own things. They never actually did more than take some fur out during this entire time, so that's how we knew to let them cat it out, in our situation. Our rule was if we heard screeching for longer than 30 seconds-a minute, we'd go break it up. Long enough to assert dominance, not long enough for them to get blinded by kitty rage. Again, this just worked in that intro with our two headstrong males. They will sometimes still have little tussels if one decides they want to be alpha, but have no problems laying next to each other, playing side by side, or eating together.

This is why we thought Cocoa, a submissive cat, would be great for our third cat. Now we're guessing the boys are having trouble respecting the wimp, too.

How long will you be gone for the wedding? (Just curious. We usually have a cat sitter who comes to see our boys twice a day when we're gone, I like hearing about what others do when they go away haha). If it's for more than a few days, I'd maybe go back to introductions at stage 1 for a little bit, since they would have been separated and not used the scent of the other anymore. It could be good or bad, but hopefully good! Depends on how much of a grudge Pittan decides to hold

oh NO! Stage 1 AGAIN! None of us will be pleased about starting all over, all over again! Pittan holds grudges and has been described as demon cat by many. She’s just a very different cat and very misunderstood. By everyone!

We’re going for about a week to South Africa. My husband is from there and it’s in a really nice area. It’s in a place called wilderness and it’s part of the garden route in South Africa. An absolutely stunning 4 hour drive from Cape Town. I generally don’t use cat sitters as they are so expensive in this country and also, I feel horrid about leaving Pittan on her own for a majority of the day. She does really enjoy company and my fathers partner is the only other person aside from my husband and I who think Pittan is lovely. Squeaky is going to a couple I’m friendly with and are major cat people who don’t have any cats

I really like the way you’ve described your cats. It paints such a vivid picture and has proven a great source of comfort and amusement for me and my family.

 

[inkysmom]

I'm glad my message helped too. I think different places and different smells could help. It might set them back a bit but overall it might get them out of their pattern.
I don't know, I think I would try to interfere less unless they're drawing blood on each other or hurting each other. They're hurting you but you don't have fur to protect you. I'm not there though.

 

[radarlove413]

Oh no


oh NO! Stage 1 AGAIN! None of us will be pleased about starting all over, all over again! Pittan holds grudges and has been described as demon cat by many. She’s just a very different cat and very misunderstood. By everyone!

We’re going for about a week to South Africa. My husband is from there and it’s in a really nice area. It’s in a place called wilderness and it’s part of the garden route in South Africa. An absolutely stunning 4 hour drive from Cape Town. I generally don’t use cat sitters as they are so expensive in this country and also, I feel horrid about leaving Pittan on her own for a majority of the day. She does really enjoy company and my fathers partner is the only other person aside from my husband and I who think Pittan is lovely. Squeaky is going to a couple I’m friendly with and are major cat people who don’t have any cats

I really like the way you’ve described your cats. It paints such a vivid picture and has proven a great source of comfort and amusement for me and my family.

That sounds like it'll be a lovely trip! Take the time to relax and distance yourself from the cat drama - we humans need a break from cat drama too. I'm glad that your father's partner loves Pittan.

Yeah, it may only be for a day or two, but when they are put together again for their safety it may be best to do a quick little "stage 1" introduction period. Pittman probably adjusts quickly since it's not the first time!

Haha thank you, the way we deal with our cats being jerks is through humor. Just today, Cocoa was eating Dunlop's leftovers when Dunlop slunk up and just whapped him on the butt. No claws, and he didn't have puffy fur, but Cocoa yelped like a drama queen and raced off the long way into the kitchen. He didn't realize Donatello was there, dozing on the floor. So he almost skids into Donatello, immediately scaring him, and jumps onto the table and leaps into the kitchen. Donatello is left there with an extremely puffy tail, when he sees Dunlop still stalking in Cocoa's direction. Don basically thought "I'll get you instead" and they had a little swatfest before parting ways, both with puffy fur, both not sure who won. All calmed down in 10 minutes, they sniffed each other's butts, and there was peace in the house... until Cocoa decided to chase a dingle ball haha. And this is two months into our introduction!

 

[pearl99]

oh NO! Stage 1 AGAIN!

I have had forward progress happen quicker when having to return to Stage 1, it is not always so but it is possible, to give some hope!
Have a really great trip!

 

[inkysmom]

Radarlove413 your story cracked me up! You're a great story teller. Reminds me of my days of having 4-7 cats. Even now with 2 cats and a dog and dogsitting 1-2 dogs at a time there's humorous times, although my dog is very mellow and good at home.

My younger cat at 8 years old likes to cause all the action and drama.

 

[scarecrow5]

Hello Natashan….. I have the EXACT situation, except mine situation has went on for THREE YEARS! I have one 4 cats total. One male, three females. Milo my male, loves my cat Abby, they have always gotten alone. Got a new cat 3 years ago (Sadie) and he will chase and go after Sadie daily several times a day, to where she stays upstairs away from him (she is also very passive). New cat of a couple months ago Bella, same thing, he goes after her a lot as well. I have tried every single thing you have done, thought I was reading my own story for a minute reading yours. A month after I got my newest cat Bella, I broke down and actually tried that Jackson Galaxy oils, they came in a three pack, one is called a bully solution. I put 4-5 drops of that in my hand and rub it on his nape of his heck and down his back. His bulliness to Bella has decreased 80%. He also has backed off of Sadie some, not as much, but is is maybe 35% better, which is HUGE after three years. Not saying it will work, but I was quite floored when it seemed to start working for him towards Bella. I have also tried calming collars, diffusers you name it.