Cat fight

[CUGal]

Also, how do you deal with the stress of it all? I’m filled with anxiety no matter what I do to overcome it. It’s mostly the constant cries of the ones I’m not physically present with that is sending me over the edge.

 

[arr]

It’s so hard with the one who is locked up. Have you tried the Feliway diffuser and/or calming music for cats? Also, vigorous play sessions with him to try to burn some excess energy. And site swapping so he isn’t always the one confined.

As for the anxiety, everyone on here says try to be calm because cats are sensitive creatures who pick up on our tension and it can make it worse. I wasn’t any good at that, I cried every day, lost my appetite, had intestinal distress, started snapping at my husband. The only thing that helped me was seeing things start improving. But in general I suffer from anxiety issues.

If it’s the crying that is putting you over the edge, could you put music/tv on or wear headphones? I actually accidentally realized during this whole thing that having too quiet of a house was making the cats worse, so now I keep a radio on. It seems to make them less reactive to every little thing.

 

[CUGal]

This is Kanani, aka the victim…little does he know he is about to go into confinement for the day. He’s now sleeping. Such a sweet one. His cries are loud and distressful. I will try to play him hard so he will go in and sleep!
Thanks for the tips. I ordered Feliway and it’s supposed to be delivered today. I turned music on this morning bc I remembered it calms my anxieties.

 

[Alldara]

I think this thread will be very helpful to you.

Managing the stress of it all is different for each household.

Non recognition aggression support group

yes it's normal for them to be at the door. When you can be there you can play with them all under the door and offer treats even if they are hissing.

 

[CUGal]

Hi fellow cat people. I wanted to give you an update and see what your thoughts are. I have been very strict about how separate I keep them. The only access they have at the moment is smelling under the door and that is slightly blocked by the baby gate.

Anyway, it's been two weeks since the original fight. The girls are doing well together. They are out in the main house together during the day and together in the office at night and Kanani is opposite. His anxiety hasn't really decreased much and he seems more depressed. I can't get him to engage in play very much because he is constantly concerned about what the other cats are doing outside (or inside) the door. They crying at night has decreased, thank goodness, but I still get the looks of betrayal every time I have to put someone(s) in a shut room.

Since Mochi (one of the girls) seemed to be doing well, I decided to try and give her a tiny bit more smelling access to Kanani so I doubled up the baby gate and opened the door enough for him to get to the gate. Both baby gates have cardboard on them so there isn't much visual ability. I gave treats and after about a minute, as I was shutting the door, she caught wind of him and growled. I know this is probably part of the process, but I feel like it's just 1 step forward and 6 steps back. And I'm just wondering what's best for them?

What are your thoughts on the following:
1. Is it worth the stress on all the cats to keep moving forward?
2. Will they continue to fight and we keep having to go through this process if they ever get back together? Cats in the wild would most likely just find a new home.
2a. If they do decide to at least co-exist, am I going to be constantly worried that another fight will break out?
3. Overall, what is best for the cats? For me to continue trying to get them to get along or to rehome?

Of course, my selfishness wants to keep them all. I love them all very much for their personalities and bonds we've created, but I feel like I have to take myself out of the picture and see what is best for them and I wanted to know what y'all think about it...especially those who have gone through this process before and especially from those where the process was painfully long, successful or unsuccessful.

I really appreciate everyone's feedback on this.

 

[arr]

I can see why you are concerned about Kanani being depressed. During our reintroduction, the victim cat seemed pretty much like his normal self so I don't have much experience in this area. Normally, things that make a cat feel good are attention, play, places to climb and scratch, good food and water, good litter situation. I’m sure you have all of this set up and I believe you are also using the Feliway diffusers? Play is so important for building confidence, maybe you can look into a different toy, something new to spark his interest? Is there any way you can get a bird feeder into a window so he has a distraction? Or so the girls have a distraction so they spend less time at his door?

I kind of hate to suggest it, but what about a calming medication for the aggressor? We put Penny on 50mg gabapentin morning and evening and she did seem more subdued, less reactive. We only had to have her on it for a few days and we made it over the hump. Granted, it was around the same time that the Feliway diffusers arrived and also it could be that the cats were just going to work it out by that time anyway. I will never know. But in a way I think having her on the gabapentin helped me more than her because I felt like I was trying everything I could. I think she was on it around four days when she started to adapt to it, and I didn’t want to increase the dose so I took her off. A few days later they were able to be reintegrated.

I know this is so hard. I too was thinking about maybe needing to rehome Penny, crying about her sitting in a cage at the shelter. I too was worried that maybe she would somehow stay aggressive and that at any time it could just start up and nothing will ever be the same again. No one can guarantee how things are going to work out for you, but chances are, it can work out. I’m not the one living your life in your particular situation, but I think two weeks may be too soon to be seriously thinking about rehoming. In the non recognition aggression support group thread, there are others who took three to four weeks, and I believe there is one that took over a month or more. Yes, it is so stressful for all involved, cats and humans alike, but I think if you move to rehoming too soon, you could at a later time be plagued by guilt. I personally would try medicating any and all cats for a time before I would rehome. I would want to feel I left no stone unturned.

Im thinking for now trying all meals at the gate, three times a day, and super high value treats at the gate, like the squeezeable kind, at least two times a day at the gate, even three if you can manage it. Do the meals and treats at a distance that they are reasonably comfortable with and slowly trying to move them closer and closer. Try a string or some kind of toy that can be played by all under the gate. Put the squeezeable treat on the toy if you have to to keep interest. Keep a light blanket that contains all of their scents over the gate, and slowly experiment with more and more visual access. Try smearing the treat on the gate so they have to start getting used to being up close and personal. Keep with the site swapping and keep rubbing them down with each other’s scent. Pet the aggressor, then go pet the victim, then go back to the aggressor and pet, concentrating on the face. Do the gate sessions very near where the Feliway is plugged in. Keep treat sessions short at first, try to end it before any negativity begins, and slowly extend time. Have a piece of cardboard ready to block and herd the aggressor away at the first sign of negativity. Look for staring, freezing, backing up, hair puffing. If you do three meals and three treat sessions a day for a week, that is 42 sessions. They have a good chance of having at least some improvement in a week. Try to hang in there a little longer and keep updating us. I found the only thing that saved my sanity was this site, because in the real world, people don’t understand. We will keep trying to help you.

Also, once they get over it, they are over it, and you will know it. You won’t be wondering, it will be very clear. You and them will be wondering why are we still doing this reintroduction stuff? Yes, it could happen again, if there is another trigger, but it won’t just spontaneously arise from the incident you just got through.