Cat anxiety and how to help

[swampmonster]

I adopted another cat yesterday and I think he might be struggling with anxiety as he's been crying all night long. It's currently three am and I'm pretty wrecked. Hubby's up, too. I think I understand why he's this way, so I don't blame him. I can sympathize, after losing my cat Gimli (my best friend) three months ago I've had really bad anxiety myself. It's part of the reason we decided to adopt. I was having increased ocd behaviors, I started picking at my skin and scratching my fingers up pretty bad. Having this guy for a few hours has already lessened my anxiety because he's occupying my time and helping me keep active (I'm disabled with chronic pain and do nothing all day otherwise).

His anxiety obviously has to do with transitioning into a new home. He's also had a bumpy journey getting here. According to his paperwork he was once a stray, he was then adopted out to a family who had him for about a month but their resident cat was majorly aggressive towards him, so with great reluctance and a lot of tears they surrendered him back to the shelter. I imagine he's confused and maybe even a little hurt over losing his first family. I would love tips for getting him settled in and reducing his anxiety.

Hubs is in with him sleeping on a fold out floor mattress. This cat is currently in the office. Our other cats are weary about him, and I don't normally let new cats have free range of the house until after they've had two or three weeks separation for adjustment. Some articles I'm reading suggest letting him sleep in our room but it's not possible as there's currently a very expensive loveseat in an already too small master bedroom (it's there because of basement renovations and Ashley Home Furniture apparently didn't want to wait *eye roll*). I'm just not sure what I can do other than wait it out... And wear ear plugs.

 

[ArtNJ]

Since the cat is so new to you, wondering if your assuming a bit too much. Cats do this for a lot of reasons. Sure, it might be move anxiety, it probably is given the move. But maybe the cat wants to get out and explore. Or maybe the cat wants your attention. You may have seen other signs that narrow it down to anxiety. Just saying I wouldn't assume its anxiety unless you've seen other signs, since some cats immediately want to go and great other cats, or interact with the humans. If its something other than anxiety, there might be scratching at the door.

 

[rubysmama]

S swampmonster : I've just come across this now, so it's been a couple days since you posted. How are things going now?

 

[swampmonster]

S swampmonster : I've just come across this now, so it's been a couple days since you posted. How are things going now?

Hello! Things have been busy, I meant to follow up. Hubs ended up sleeping in the office with him, it helped quite a bit. As soon as we'd leave the room our poor cat would go into a kind of panic mode and just wail. Even if we weren't leaving the room, but only turning our backs to get something, our cat would shoot out in front of us. It's almost like walking away was too difficult for him to bare. He still gets wide eyed when I get up to leave and trills, like he's asking me where I'm going lol. His behaviour is improving with every day. He's curious about the other cats and only wails once or twice in the night.

One thing we're working on now is building trust. I have noticed he lacks confidence with getting pet, he'll often twitch or sharply turn around as though he's going to attack (and sometimes he does). It's like he thinks we're going to hurt him. Some cats have designated no touchy areas. When we adopted Mo last June he didn't want anything below the neck, he's much more trusting now. I have no idea what triggers that reaction in our newest cat, I'm trying to keep pets gentle and restricted to the head and the neck but at random he'll still panic. I imagine the previous owners' cat must've really done a number on him. Having been a stray probably also didn't help. He has scars on his face and nicks out of his ears. But surprisingly, despite his trust issues, he really wants to be a lap cat. He demands to sit in our laps in the chair, and even when my husband crouches to pet him he tries to crawl into his lap lol. I hope in time I can help calm him and successfully integrate him with the other cats. And also, maybe he'll sleep through the night.

 

[rubysmama]

Awww... he sounds like a sweetie pie. Good luck with him.

Here's some TCS articles that might have some tips for you.
10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat – TheCatSite Articles
16 Top Cat Experts Share Tips For Dealing With Timid Cats – TheCatSite Articles
How To Help An Abused Cat Recover – TheCatSite Articles

 

[vince]

Sometimes, you just need to let the cat pet himself. Stick out your finger and see if the cat will rub against it. He will probably move to the position where and if he wants to be pet. Much easier on you. If it's going better, you can wiggle the finger some or use two fingers. Everything in little steps.

He might need a "security blanket." Maybe a catnip mouse or a little stuffed toy, perhaps with a heartbeat unit inside (especially if he's a kitten). If no heartbeat toy, then maybe a ticking clock or watch for him to stay with?

I used a radio, set to play softly on a talk station. That gave a little background noise 24 hours a day to mimic household activity, since I had to be at work when I got the first cat I'd had in years.

 

[swampmonster]

Thanks for the suggestions! I like the idea of playing soft music to help soothe him. He sat in my lap today which was nice, but he goes between wanting pets and then being put off by them, it's kind of a roller coaster. Likewise when we're playing I'm not always sure if we're having a good time because I feel like he's getting agitated. I usually know the physical signs of irritability in cats, but he's such a mixed bag it's hard to tell with him. I try to give him good breaks in between play sessions and observe his behaviour as best I can.
The vet estimated his age to be five or six (in my experience they usually base it off of their teeth which isn't super accurate because some cats have bad teeth). I'd put him around three considering his energy levels are like that of a young adult, he even frequently plays on his own.
I might try feliway on his blanket or cat bed and see if that helps calm him.

 

[rubysmama]

It hasn't even been a week yet, so I think things are going pretty well. It'll take him some time to settle in, plus he's probably aware of your other cats, which could be causing some stress. How are you doing? Is your anxiety getting better.

 

[swampmonster]

It hasn't even been a week yet, so I think things are going pretty well. It'll take him some time to settle in, plus he's probably aware of your other cats, which could be causing some stress. How are you doing? Is your anxiety getting better.

He is definitely aware of the other cats, I think he wants to meet them but they don't want to see him yet lol. I'm doing better. I think having someone to focus on helps a great deal. And he is affectionate, even though he occasionally swipes at me or nips me, I try to focus instead on how much he enjoys being pet. My other cats aren't lap cats so having somebody who likes being that close is really very nice and it helps soothe my anxiety. I feel needed and purposeful, and that's a big deal to someone like me. When I left work due to my chronic illness I struggled a lot and my cat Gimli really helped take the edge off, he was invested in pretty much everything I did (I couldn't take a bath without him getting upset). I know every cat is different and it's unlikely I'll have that sort of relationship with our new guy, but it's already been a wonderful experience. : ) We went through several names but have chosen Beaker (like the Muppet) because he trills and coos incessantly. It's a lot of fun to see his personality emerge.

 

[rubysmama]

I'm glad you're doing better, and that Beaker has a name.

Condolences on the loss of Gimli, btw. RIP sweetie.

 

[swampmonster]

I'm glad you're doing better, and that Beaker has a name.

Condolences on the loss of Gimli, btw. RIP sweetie.

Thank you so much