When my beloved almost 20-year-old Phoebe died Monday - - I wasn't expecting a parade. Even a small one. I wasn't expecting an avalanche of cards, or my home to be knee deep in flowers. But over the years - particularly with a group of probably about 15-20 people (and in this group are 2 of my best friends, my sister, my mother and two neighbors that we exchange cat-sitting with when any of us go away) - - --when any of their cat (or dogs) have passed on, I've been there to hold their hands, to sit with them and the animal if they asked, on several occasions been the driver to the vet and the ER vet….after which I always call and visit to see if I can do anything, or at least offer condolences, and I usually either bring a bottle of wine to toast if appropriate, or bring either a bouquet of flowers or a flower like a hydrangea to plant so that in the spring they're reminded of their fur baby.
I know this sounds awful of me - - and no, I don't do the above because I "expect" anything…..but when I lost Phoebe Monday know what I got? (Besides my husband - who's been wonderful).
A few Facebook posts of two or three words each…..about 3 texts, also of only a few words each…..and a phone call from my sister and one of my close friends. No flowers. Not even a single card. Not one. No offer to come sit and talk about it. Nothing.
I understand - as my husband says - "everyone's not you" - - -but honestly I feel like now I have heartbreak on top of heartbreak. Some of these people are REAL animal people and, as I mentioned, have called on ME to come at 1 in the morning to help hold their animal and provide comfort.
I know that Facebook and texts have replaced so much in our lives….but this stunned me. I feel like such a sucker for buying all those flowers, animal statues for gardens, etc. - - I've even done personalized engraved Christmas ornaments with photos when a friend's cat passed near Christmas.
I don't want to make it sound like I'm patting myself on the back - I just thought that's what people DID when they cared, I guess I'm finding out that none of my friends care much beyond the effort it takes to say "thkg of u" on their phone.
I'm extra heartbroken.
I know this sounds awful of me - - and no, I don't do the above because I "expect" anything…..but when I lost Phoebe Monday know what I got? (Besides my husband - who's been wonderful).
A few Facebook posts of two or three words each…..about 3 texts, also of only a few words each…..and a phone call from my sister and one of my close friends. No flowers. Not even a single card. Not one. No offer to come sit and talk about it. Nothing.
I understand - as my husband says - "everyone's not you" - - -but honestly I feel like now I have heartbreak on top of heartbreak. Some of these people are REAL animal people and, as I mentioned, have called on ME to come at 1 in the morning to help hold their animal and provide comfort.
I know that Facebook and texts have replaced so much in our lives….but this stunned me. I feel like such a sucker for buying all those flowers, animal statues for gardens, etc. - - I've even done personalized engraved Christmas ornaments with photos when a friend's cat passed near Christmas.
I don't want to make it sound like I'm patting myself on the back - I just thought that's what people DID when they cared, I guess I'm finding out that none of my friends care much beyond the effort it takes to say "thkg of u" on their phone.
I'm extra heartbroken.