I hope I can get this all typed before I start bawling/my boss comes back from lunch. My DBF and I have been in a relationship for 2.5 years. Last fall we hit a road block when I found out he had cheated and so I cheated. We got past it, and our relationship was renewed and strong. Along the way we had a couple of fights because I was trying to build the trust back, and we almost got to a destructive point because he kept telling me that he loved me and only wanted to be with me yet it seemed I never believed him or nothing he did was ever good enough. I assured him that I believed him. It just took a few months for me to get over the cheating.
Well we got past that issue. A couple months ago we moved in together. We have started looking at rings. He has a girl friend that I have always been insecure about because I never hang out with her. She works with him. I know a lot about her because he fills me in on her life so that I am not insecure about their relationship. Lately I have been fine with it although we have had a couple heated discussions about her.
Saturday night she sent him a picture message of her in the dress she bought for her cousin's wedding. I saw it and got a little stupid and asked to see his phone so I could look at their text messages. I have no idea why because the photo wasn't inappropriate and I trust their text messages and I trust him. We got in a really big fight because we were back to where we were again, my insecurities, and last night she told him she didn't think they needed to be friends anymore because she feels she is causing conflict with he and I. That is far from what I would have ever wanted and I even texted her and begged her not to do that.
Well this devastates me because now I feel like I have broken up their friendship and I am afraid he will resent me for it. I feel like he and I are going in circles and just when things get good I go and mess them up with my insecurities. I swore to him this time things would be different and he loves me with all his heart but he is just unsure and scared of what the future holds for us. That terrifies me because I absolutely cannot live without him.
If someone can give me any insight or hope, or just say a quick prayer... this man is the love of my life and I just hope I have not pushed him away forever this time. If anyone wants to offer any counseling I would be happy to give more information. I just had to try to keep this short so that it was worth reading and so that I would have time to post and check back. I just have to prove to him somehow that if not her, it won't be his next friend that I'm insecure about. I need to prove to him that I trust him and that this will never come up again.
Well we got past that issue. A couple months ago we moved in together. We have started looking at rings. He has a girl friend that I have always been insecure about because I never hang out with her. She works with him. I know a lot about her because he fills me in on her life so that I am not insecure about their relationship. Lately I have been fine with it although we have had a couple heated discussions about her.
Saturday night she sent him a picture message of her in the dress she bought for her cousin's wedding. I saw it and got a little stupid and asked to see his phone so I could look at their text messages. I have no idea why because the photo wasn't inappropriate and I trust their text messages and I trust him. We got in a really big fight because we were back to where we were again, my insecurities, and last night she told him she didn't think they needed to be friends anymore because she feels she is causing conflict with he and I. That is far from what I would have ever wanted and I even texted her and begged her not to do that.
Well this devastates me because now I feel like I have broken up their friendship and I am afraid he will resent me for it. I feel like he and I are going in circles and just when things get good I go and mess them up with my insecurities. I swore to him this time things would be different and he loves me with all his heart but he is just unsure and scared of what the future holds for us. That terrifies me because I absolutely cannot live without him.
If someone can give me any insight or hope, or just say a quick prayer... this man is the love of my life and I just hope I have not pushed him away forever this time. If anyone wants to offer any counseling I would be happy to give more information. I just had to try to keep this short so that it was worth reading and so that I would have time to post and check back. I just have to prove to him somehow that if not her, it won't be his next friend that I'm insecure about. I need to prove to him that I trust him and that this will never come up again.