Brother died 2 weeks ago, Pepsi meows a whole lot more, what to do?

pepsiandmax

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I lost my sweet dear Max 2 weeks ago. And I have been devistated.
I know cats also grieve. But Pepsi, Max’ brother seemed fine the first week. The last couple of nights and days he have started to meow a whole lot more than usual.
He has always wanted my attention. Standing beside the kitchen counter meowing, standing in front of the tv meowing, standing in front of my bedroom door meowing (when I am in the living room, not inside the bedroom). Normal behavious. But now its all the time.
He has also started to claw at my door at night, meowing, something he has only very rarely done.
I can imagine that he might be lonely, and miss his brother. But what to do? I try to shower him with love and attention. I don’t want him to be in my bedroom at night, since I sleep light, and will wake up screaming if something moves in the room or touches me or similar.
But its hard to hear him meow so much.

I have always imagined that he would like to be an only cat. He does not like other cats (his brother was fine, but not any other cat), and just the feeling I got from him, that he would be fine on his own. Maybe I was wrong. It feels too soon to get a new cat. Not sure if I want a second one, if I will be ready to accept one more into my life. But I also do worry about Pepsi.

Is it good to just let him meow, and not give him attention? To teach him that it wont make anything happen? Or should I go out to him at night when he is at the door? Like right now. I have given him the normal good night kisses and routine, but it breaks my heart to hear him like this.
 

susanm9006

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I am sorry that you and he lost Max. You might want to try opening your door when Pepsi cries and giving him a few pets just to reassure him. He may want in because he thinks his brother is there and when he sees he isn’t he may settle down. I would also buy him a heated cat bed since he lost his sleeping partner and may be calmed by the warmth.
 

LTS3

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There might be some suggestions here:


I guess just like with people, cats grieve at their own pace. Just provide lots of love and attention. Ear plugs may help you sleep at night.
 

kittyluv387

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I wouldn't open your door to him at night unless you want it to become a habit. I know what you mean by sleeping light. I like the idea of a heated cat bed though! He might find that comforting. Another thing is Feliway plug-ins for a couple weeks.
 

tabbytom

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Is it good to just let him meow, and not give him attention? To teach him that it wont make anything happen? Or should I go out to him at night when he is at the door? Like right now. I have given him the normal good night kisses and routine, but it breaks my heart to hear him like this.
We are so
IMG_3272.GIF
to hear about your lost of Max:alright:

Here's an article for you to read ;- do-cats-mourn
 

di and bob

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It will take about a month before he starts to get a little better, definitely get a cat heat pad and put a soft blanket on it. Maybe feed him a little more towards night, a full cat sleeps. Just give him a little extra attention right now, it would be good for both of you.....bless you for worrying about him.
 
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pepsiandmax

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I don’t know how accurate the app is, but used «Meow talk» today to see if it could translate some of what the meowing is, and it just breaks my heart.
Earlier when I have used it, its been «I am hunting», «mommy», «I love you».
But now 💔 I really do hope it will get better for him. I am planning to start to get rid of stuff thats still got Max all over it (he was a very hairy cat). But smalls steps to not make too many changes at once.
 

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Kflowers

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I know it's hard on your keeping the stuff Max shed on and slept on, but doing so may well comfort Pepsi. Cats live by their sense of smell and the memories may help him. The scents for him, are similar to you looking at Max's photograph.
 
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pepsiandmax

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I know it's hard on your keeping the stuff Max shed on and slept on, but doing so may well comfort Pepsi. Cats live by their sense of smell and the memories may help him. The scents for him, are similar to you looking at Max's photograph.
I am not planning to get rid of everything. But Pepsi don’t shed that much, so I don’t need to cover my sofa with blankets anymore. And I have loads of cat beds that Max used, but Pepsi have always refused to use them, he really don’t like cat beds, so I can maybe donate some of them to someone who will use them, or at least put them in storage.

Just doing a few clean ups. The many different cat trees I have, still have Max all over them, and not planning on getting rid of those, or cleaning them up/removing all the hair.
Will try to find a balance, wont do it just right now, will give it a few more weeks before I start.
 
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