Better To Try Letting Him Outside Than Consider Surrender?

[bayareakitties]

I adopted the third cat 4 months ago, and the new cat is just relentlessly badgering the resident male. He and my female do ok, they chase each other and he seems to listen if she hisses to stop. But he picks on my very mellow docile boy. They are all about 4 year old-I have done everything -prolonged play time, giving treats when they do sit together, I got them on the Jackson Galaxy "bully" treatments, and the Peace maker formula. I did a careful meet and greet, took time and started just through the door etc. It's reached a tipping point where he clamps his jaw on his back and hair is flying. I really see my mellow boy getting bullied and it's sad. He now hides in two corners if the new cat is around. I have taken to keeping them separate. But new cat has so much energy I am wondering if he would like going outside and it might help with his energy levels. They are all indoor now. I don't approve of allowing cats out but is that a better solution than having to consider surrender?

 

[5starcathotel]

Hi, I certainly sympathize with your predicament, and I've been there, and failed to make it work. Fortunately in my case, I was able to find a new home for the newcomer that worked better.

One thing maybe to consider is that the newcomer isn't really the problem - it's your resident kitty not being confident/assertive enough, and he's probably the one you should try working with more in terms of playtime, scent swapping, etc. Bottom line, if you can get him to stop hiding in corners, possibly by giving him defensible and escapable places up high, their relationship should improve greatly.

I can also maybe offer some encouragement. Of my current brood, my old mellow male, and the 1yo super-energetic cat, should NOT be getting along. And yet, after more than a year....
How Long Does It Take To Fully Introduce Cats? 14 Months, Apparently.

But as I mentioned, I have failed in a similar situation. If the options are a kill shelter vs letting him outside, I'd opt for letting him outside, while continuing to try to find him a new home.

 

[bayareakitties]

thanks, that's a good point to focus more on my "victim" being more confident. He does like going on top of the fridge and that seems to help. But he is also a big cat, oddly like twice as big as the cat who bullies him, so he has a harder time getting around.

 

[danteshuman]

I agree with building your victims confidence ... it pays off I swear. Another thing to consider is reintroducing your cats again... while site swapping if you can (One cat gets the house for 12-24 hours, then gets locked in a room, the other cat is released for free reign/interaction with other cats for 12-24 hours.) Also what helped for my hyper bully that was using my mellow cal kitty has a living toy, was letting him have outside time. So harness training your bully might really pay off. Good luck. Please tell us how it goes?

 

[bayareakitties]

that's so funny, my instinct was to sort of "start over" and I just put bully cat into a room alone for now, with litter box etc. And so give victim cat some free rein in the house. And it''s working in that victim cat is walking around like he hasn't in a long time. Do you mean like harness walking bully cat outdoors? I know he is SO high energy that might help. It's so funny, he wasn't like that when I adopted him, he was mellow and quiet. I was even afraid he might hide for days. It's like he found this energy being here.

 

[Loki_Lily]

Awww.. please do not give up on him! You can do this, I promise!
Well, is your new kitty neutered? If not, that could be the reason for his behavior (Showing dominance and all that, you know?)
If he is and he is by nature a very active cat, you will just have to wait it out. While separating them is a great idea, you can also try the discipline method. If you watch Jackson Galaxy, you probably know that he suggests you should never spray water or tell them anything when they do something bad. I tried doing that when I bought my first baby home and and payed no attention when he did something wrong (as JG suggests), but he would keep doing the same thing over and over again. Then I swear he finally learned the word "No" and would stop every time he did something he was not supposed to do. I guess that is the only thing I say with my regular voice without being all soft and lovey dovey? Also, when he was around 4 (2 weeks before his neuter schedule), he started marking my bed. A few times I caught him in actions. The first time, I sprayed water, and he ran away and I did not have to use that again. If i picked up the bottle and walked towards him, he would stop.
I hope you do not think I am evil. Cats are unique and have very different personalities. While some techniques work on some, it might not work on others. I love my boy to death- and I literally mean it! I do not remember my life before him and do not want one without him. He is the sweetest behaved thing on the earth, but there are moments I have to say "No" and it works wonders on him. Maybe try that on your little one if the separation does not work, so that he knows he is not supposed to be bullying him? Treat him while he is chilling and getting along with the girl, and may be spray water if he is bullying your older boy so that he learns the right and the wrong behavior?

 

[danteshuman]

Yes I meant harness training him so he gets outdoor 'hunting' time. Bird feeders up high pay off to, especially if he can window hunt. It should help burn off his extra energy along with more play time

 

[danteshuman]

Ummmm my punk gets the water bottle spray treatment once a month or so if he keeps hunting my other cat and won't stop (despite warnings, hand clapping, a warning shake of the water bottle etc) Though picking him up and locking him out of the room for 5 minutes then engaging him in play works just as well. I have found giving him outside time and extra play works wonders in preventing bullying. He didn't calm down until he was 7 or 8 years old. An hour or two in the backyard daily keeps my sanity

 

[bayareakitties]

Ummmm my punk gets the water bottle spray treatment once a month or so if he keeps hunting my other cat and won't stop (despite warnings, hand clapping, a warning shake of the water bottle etc) Though picking him up and locking him out of the room for 5 minutes then engaging him in play works just as well. I have found giving him outside time and extra play works wonders in preventing bullying. He didn't calm down until he was 7 or 8 years old. An hour or two in the backyard daily keeps my sanity

Yes, I mean if the choice is water bottle or surrender... I think water bottle makes sense. I mean what can we do?

 

[bayareakitties]

Awww.. please do not give up on him! You can do this, I promise!
Well, is your new kitty neutered? If not, that could be the reason for his behavior (Showing dominance and all that, you know?)
If he is and he is by nature a very active cat, you will just have to wait it out. While separating them is a great idea, you can also try the discipline method. If you watch Jackson Galaxy, you probably know that he suggests you should never spray water or tell them anything when they do something bad. I tried doing that when I bought my first baby home and and payed no attention when he did something wrong (as JG suggests), but he would keep doing the same thing over and over again. Then I swear he finally learned the word "No" and would stop every time he did something he was not supposed to do. I guess that is the only thing I say with my regular voice without being all soft and lovey dovey? Also, when he was around 4 (2 weeks before his neuter schedule), he started marking my bed. A few times I caught him in actions. The first time, I sprayed water, and he ran away and I did not have to use that again. If i picked up the bottle and walked towards him, he would stop.
I hope you do not think I am evil. Cats are unique and have very different personalities. While some techniques work on some, it might not work on others. I love my boy to death- and I literally mean it! I do not remember my life before him and do not want one without him. He is the sweetest behaved thing on the earth, but there are moments I have to say "No" and it works wonders on him. Maybe try that on your little one if the separation does not work, so that he knows he is not supposed to be bullying him? Treat him while he is chilling and getting along with the girl, and may be spray water if he is bullying your older boy so that he learns the right and the wrong behavior?

Thank you for the support! Yes he is neutered. I brought him back out tonight, after keeping them all separated for 24 hours. Victim cat did go back to his corner, but easing out and not as nervous. Bully has approached him but i have monitored it. And I have my water bottle here for use. I think I will keep them separated for awhile when I am away for a few more days. But bring him out when I am home. I'll hang in there!!

 

[bayareakitties]

After separating them and reintroducing and using the water bottle. I have to report there is progress. I am not saying others should use the water bottle but its working here. I have used it a couple of times on my bully when he starts picking on the victim. And he backs off and it's been more stable since. I had heard he might not trust me, but he seems fine with me, still wants to play and cuddle etc. Maybe he just needed some boundary's

 

[danteshuman]

You can try the pick up/lock out method, then playing with him when you let him in a few minutes later. Also don't forget to build up the confidence of your shy cat so that cat look less like prey/a fun thing to pounce.

 

[Loki_Lily]

After separating them and reintroducing and using the water bottle. I have to report there is progress. I am not saying others should use the water bottle but its working here. I have used it a couple of times on my bully when he starts picking on the victim. And he backs off and it's been more stable since. I had heard he might not trust me, but he seems fine with me, still wants to play and cuddle etc. Maybe he just needed some boundary's

Yay!! I am so glad there is positive progress! Good Job, Meowmy!

 

[bonepicker]

I have a bully cat that bites too. I lock him in his room and then rotate him and the cat he attacks so they both get time to roam house. That's all I could do other than euthanasia because he is a loose cannon, and bites people

 

[danteshuman]

bonepicker I'm sorry that your bully cat is requiring such drastic measures. My mini terrorist didn't calm down to become a more civilized needy problem child until he was 7 or 8 years old. If I had another kitten/young cat like him... he would be on prozac so fast. Perhaps it might be worth a try? Though my punk never became friends with the older declawed cat ... he was trainable to not go after her, go in her room, get within 5 feet of her ... and after a year I could have them both eating 6 inches apart. I never did get them to the point where I left them unsupervised. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully one day you will find them grooming each other, or snuggled up next to each other.

 

[maggiedemi]

I use a little horn. I don't like to spray things on them. They hate that horn, so they learn really quick. They learned not to bite electrical cords in like a day or two.

 

[bonepicker]

bonepicker I'm sorry that your bully cat is requiring such drastic measures. My mini terrorist didn't calm down to become a more civilized needy problem child until he was 7 or 8 years old. If I had another kitten/young cat like him... he would be on prozac so fast. Perhaps it might be worth a try? Though my punk never became friends with the older declawed cat ... he was trainable to not go after her, go in her room, get within 5 feet of her ... and after a year I could have them both eating 6 inches apart. I never did get them to the point where I left them unsupervised. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully one day you will find them grooming each other, or snuggled up next to each other.

 

[bonepicker]

Mine started out ok then at age 4 became a monster. He drew blood several times. My dad wanted him put down as he bit us too. Both my cats were feral, the bad boy was abandoned as a kitten by feral mother. I think he might have some bad wiring in the brain. No one I know would put up with his antics, this was my last option!

 

[danteshuman]

Prozac might be the answer. He isn't happy being that stressed/afraid all the time either. It has helped many cats with extreme behavior problems.