Bashful's journey back from grief

[NY cat man]

Bashful

In October of 2021, we lost Burdock, our oldest feral. He and Bashful had become quite bonded, and were forever together.

After his passing, we thought that we were also going to lose Bashful as well; she refused to eat anything, instead wandering around to all of the places where she and Burdock had hung out, all the time giving out with a piteous little meow. We got medicine from the vet's for appetite, and that helped some, but not her constant search for her lost buddy. Then, things turned worse. She started over grooming. In very short order, she had no fur on her legs and belly, and nothing- no medicine could get her to stop. As soon as it started to grow back, she would lick it off again. This went on for more than a year. Finally, she started to come around ever so slowly. She stopped with the searching, and while she hasn't taken up with any of the other cats, she has accepted me as her Burdock substitute. She even cuddles up with me at night. Best of all, she has stopped the over grooming, and has grown back all of her fur. It has been a long, sometimes painful process, but she is back. She is still bashful, hence her name, but she is our Bashful.

 

[neely]

She stopped with the searching, and while she hasn't taken up with any of the other cats, she has accepted me as her Burdock substitute.

This is wonderful news about Bashful. Did you grow whiskers by any chance? (only kidding) Thanks so much for the update and please keep us posted about her progress. Love the pics, she has mesmerizing eyes.

 

[rubysmama]

Thanks for sharing Bashful's update. I'm glad she has found a Burdock substitute.

Nice to see you, btw, N NY cat man It was just a couple weeks ago that I thought of you, and realized I hadn't seen your name in a while.

 

[NY cat man]

This is wonderful news about Bashful. Did you grow whiskers by any chance? (only kidding) Thanks so much for the update and please keep us posted about her progress. Love the pics, she has mesmerizing eyes.

Do you remember when Princess Diana was referred to in the press as " Shy Di"? Well, Bashful would be her feline equivalent.

 

[neely]

Do you remember when Princess Diana was referred to in the press as " Shy Di"? Well, Bashful would be her feline equivalent.

Yes, I remember that nickname for Diana and Bashful is your princess.

 

[NY cat man]

Yes, I remember that nickname for Diana and Bashful is your princess.

That she is.

 

[NY cat man]

One thing that bothers me about this whole episode is how Bashful was treated at the vet's office when we took her there. Understand, this is the place we have been going for years, but the original doctor we were seeing has retired. Anyway, they said it was a skin condition, and prescribed for that. They prescribed prednisone among other things. No one would listen when I said that she was in mourning; they just kept trying one drug after another, with predictable results. Bashful was like a zombie half the time, but kept on over grooming. So I kept on giving her as much attention- and cuddles- as possible. If it were possible, I would be looking for another vet, but with so many practices closing, few are taking new patients in this area. Maybe my attention helped her, or maybe it was just enough time had passed for her to get back to being herself- I'm not going to say one way or another. I'm just tickled that she seems to have recovered, and that's good enough.

 

[Margot Lane]

Still, perhaps you writing about it here will make some vet take notice down the line and/or give courage to others to speak up about it w/ their vet. Mourning is a real thing: elephants, chimpanzees, certain bird species have been documented mourning…cats count just as much. The medicine needed here was time & compassion, which is what Bashful received from you in spades.

 

[tabbytom]

N NY cat man

It has been awhile since we chatted. Great to hear from you again.

Glad that Bashful has come around and things has been well for her and you. Hugs and love to you and Bashful from January and me

 

[Silver K]

It's great to hear that Bashful is healing from his grief. They really do grieve just as much as we do. While my cat Nile didn't grieve on the same level Bashful did, he has never been the same since losing his two older siblings.

 

[Margot Lane]

PS…maybe your outdoor cat Grumpy is slightly less Grumpy and can visit and fill the void?

 

[NY cat man]

PS…maybe your outdoor cat Grumpy is slightly less Grumpy and can visit and fill the void?

No, he's as grumpy as ever. We still provide wet and dry food, plus the heated water dish in cold weather, plus a nice insulated shelter if he so chooses, but he is still quite the feral. As much as I would have liked to bring him in years ago, it was not to be, so we just give him what he needs.