I have a baby-shower etiquette question I need some help with. First I need to give some background I think. One of my good friends just found out that she is pregnant a few weeks ago. The week she and her husband shipped all their belongings to Japan where he will be stationed in a few months.
She isn't leaving till mid September, right after her sister gets married. So she'll be about 5 months by then. Since they shipped all their belongings already before she knew she was pregnant, she doesn't have anything for the baby and the military won't send a second shipment so they will have to buy everything there in Japan. Which she's been told is not a problem.
The problem is that, since it's her first baby, she really does want to have a baby shower before she leaves. I think she really ought to have one, her mother told her she doesn't need to have a shower (her mother didn't even attend the bridal shower I threw for her). Me throwing a shower is just fine, but the problem is gifts. If people buy her things she will have to mail them to Japan. My idea is to have the shower about 3 weeks before her sister's wedding and include something saying something along the lines of asking them not to bring actual gifts and explain that their belongings are already in Japan so they can't take them with them, but if they really want to give them something, money would be the best option (or gift cards they can use on-line, but then there is shipping so I'm not sure about that) but not to feel obligated to give her anything, that we just want to celebrate her upcoming arrival while she is still in the states with us.
Does that sound like an acceptable thing to do? Any other ideas? I really do want her to have a shower. I know not everyone does, but really, they have next to nothing for this baby and I know I want to help them 'set up house' for the baby. I'm soooo bummed I won't be getting tons of toys and clothes for the baby. I do plan on mailing a few things if it's not too expensive. I guess people who really want to mail something later instead of giving a shower gift can, but it's definitely not my place to suggest that! I guess I'm walking a fine line here with it. I really need some thoughts on this one! Please help!
She isn't leaving till mid September, right after her sister gets married. So she'll be about 5 months by then. Since they shipped all their belongings already before she knew she was pregnant, she doesn't have anything for the baby and the military won't send a second shipment so they will have to buy everything there in Japan. Which she's been told is not a problem.
The problem is that, since it's her first baby, she really does want to have a baby shower before she leaves. I think she really ought to have one, her mother told her she doesn't need to have a shower (her mother didn't even attend the bridal shower I threw for her). Me throwing a shower is just fine, but the problem is gifts. If people buy her things she will have to mail them to Japan. My idea is to have the shower about 3 weeks before her sister's wedding and include something saying something along the lines of asking them not to bring actual gifts and explain that their belongings are already in Japan so they can't take them with them, but if they really want to give them something, money would be the best option (or gift cards they can use on-line, but then there is shipping so I'm not sure about that) but not to feel obligated to give her anything, that we just want to celebrate her upcoming arrival while she is still in the states with us.
Does that sound like an acceptable thing to do? Any other ideas? I really do want her to have a shower. I know not everyone does, but really, they have next to nothing for this baby and I know I want to help them 'set up house' for the baby. I'm soooo bummed I won't be getting tons of toys and clothes for the baby. I do plan on mailing a few things if it's not too expensive. I guess people who really want to mail something later instead of giving a shower gift can, but it's definitely not my place to suggest that! I guess I'm walking a fine line here with it. I really need some thoughts on this one! Please help!