Angry At The Vet

[Mylittlepony]

Has anyone else experienced this? Harry died in February and I feel so angry at how it happened. First of all this is my 2nd cat to be treated by the same vet. She diagnosed Clark with diabetes and a year of injections, changes in insulin, blood tests, never managed to stabalise him, then I asked for a scan and it was a tumour in his stomach. We had to end it there as he was so weak by then. Then Harry, he didnt seem quite himself and she diagnosed, before the blood tests as hyperthyroid, he went onto medication and although he didnt seem any different, I perservered. Beginning of December he seemed ok, we have photo's of him looking relaxed and content. Then he had a blood check and she rang and said I had to increase the dose which I did and he became ill, listless, not eating, so another blood test which came back that he was overdosed, so drop the dose. Then he got constipation, after 2 sedations and enema's, which didn't work she said she thought that getting the thyroid removed would be the best course so I did that. He didnt improve the way I had hoped and he also had constipation. Took him back and she said she would sedate him and see what it was. Rang to say, she saw a growth and wanted to remove it, he stayed in overnight and then had the op but she rang to say it was too bad and I had to have him pts. I dont feel the thyroid op was the way to go now and also why didnt she see the problem with the previous 2 sedations, I can't believe the problem arose and was visible in just 2 weeks. I know I cant do anything about it now but I cant get rid of the anger and the feeling that Harry was put through more than was necessary or that if the problem was spotted earlier something could have been done.

 

[solomonar]

Sometimes just happens. Cats are elusive creatures and the science is not yet stabilized in respect of cat's metabolism.

Some cats are also built genetically in a non-resilient way. That is how the nature makes its path.

It is not the vet to blame, he/she has a lot of depression to fight with, dont think pts is easy to accept even for them. I know one vet who take 2 days off after each terminal intervention.

Neither the cat's owners are withes or wizards. Cats are built to hide their health problem, we know they are one of the smallest predators in wilderness, so they can turn into prey very easily.

===

So I am very sorry for your loss. It is a difficult time but the sadness will fade and good memories will remain.

Happy hunting, Harry and Clark!

 

[Furballsmom]

I agree with solomonar and also there are cancers that don't show, then within days/weeks are there because they're such aggressive fast growers. I'm so very sorry!
RIP babies

 

[neely]

I think it is perfectly normal to second guess yourself as well as the vet's diagnosis. I have done the same in the past and kept going over the symptoms and treatment(s) in my mind. I'm sincerely sorry for your loss and would like to extend my heartfelt sympathies to you. RIP sweet angels.

 

[Mother Dragon]

I can sympathize with your frustration with the vet. Perhaps next time (which I hope won't happen) if your furbaby isn't improving, you might want to get a second opinion. A fresh pair of eyes might catch something the first missed.

I know how much it hurts to lose one. I promise you that sometime in the future you'll find more love in your heart to give to another one. Right now, keep the happy memories in your heart.

 

[Mylittlepony]

Thank you everyone for your kind replies. I think, because its the 2nd time with the same footprint, ie ongoing expensive illness, then the same ending. I even looked on the website and she was posting photo's of other cat patients, later that day! I know life goes on for them. I didnt question the first time with Clark and went back to the same vet, but now I find it on my mind so much so that I can't even think about ever having another cat again. As suggested, I do wish that I had gone for a 2nd opinion, I think that would have made a difference to how I feel now.

 

[di and bob]

It's perfectly normal to have the feelings, the anger, the frustrations you are having. Our hearts and minds can't accept that our little ones are gone and we go through everything that happened with a fine tooth comb. There is one thing I can tell you for sure, going through all those should haves, could haves, brings on nothing but heartache and changes absolutely nothing because the past is set and there is nothing we can do to change it. Once the immediate trauma is over, our minds are a little clearer. We can think over what path should have been followed, what changes might have been made, trying to make sense of everything that went wrong and what we should have done different. But we are human, and so is the vet, and sometimes no matter what we do it won't be enough.
All I know is that Harry and Clark both loved you very much and would never want you to be going through all this because of them. To carry all this anger, sadness, and grief around and have it darken your heart like a storm cloud. They both lived to make you happy, they wouldn't want you to not feel their joy, the love they are sending to you for comfort because of the focus on the hurt.
I know you wouldn't want them to go on through life in sadness if you were the first to go, they want no less for you because that is what love is.
I focused on the hurt for too long, I felt such hate for the one who killed my little girl that I lost all joy in living myself. Don't do as I did, don't waste one minute on something that makes their lives and the love they gave you not as important. That is what should be remembered, not the death, but the years of life and happiness. That is what should be elevated above the hate, what should be held in your heart. Don't make their death more important than their lives.
I cry with you for the pain you are going through, I have been there and know how much this can affect your life. The present is all we have, we are never guaranteed a tomorrow, and the past is done and gone. Just get through one day at a time, knowing your boys are past the hurt now and will always be near. As long as you are alive you will always cherish and love them, and they will remain in your heart forevermore to bring you comfort if you call to them. The bond of love you have with them can never be taken from you, not even death can sever the tie of your souls.
I'll pray for you all, the pain you are going through is as strong as your love. It takes a long, long, time to heal a broken heart. I'm so sorry......

 

[solomonar]

Second opinion maybe useful or maybe not. But to question the past is a sure way to scratch the wound, not to heal it.

The Space Shuttle had three redundant systems. All crashed and the Shuttle ended in flames. By probabilistic calculus, that should never happen. But it does happen.

+++

Tears are like rain, they heal the Soul. Mourning is what we need and is a way to pass through the sad time.

But when the Souls cease crying, is time for Science to play.

May I suggest to search the place for hazardous substances? Some may be very dangerous for your health as well. There is a chance to be not about vet or about your approach but about environmental circumstances.

As far as I know, in some countries the hazardous substances home checks are free of charge (e.g. via EPA or local EPAs).

 

[Mylittlepony]

Thank you so much, Di and Bob, for your reply. I know I am focused on Harry's death and what I should/could have done, so much that it is making everything else harder. My mother died in the October before Harry and I'm sad about that and miss her but she often said she didnt want to live much longer with her ailments, Harry was my comfort at that time and I hoped for much longer, my cats have always made the world a brighter place. Its true, love never goes away but yes, the fact that they are no longer there is overwhelming at times and the circumstances make it harder, feeling that maybe Harry could still have been with me. So appreciate your understanding

 

[di and bob]

The first step to healing is acknowledgement. You have loved before, you can love again. Their love will always have it's place, The soul rejoices when more are added. Your mom is watching over your little ones, may the good Lord bless and keep them all, until you meet again!

 

[solomonar]

Very sad experience, everyone must agree. I really understand your feelings and I am very sorry for your losses.

+++

Let aside the difficult time - as much as this can be done - I am a bit worry about more practical things, considering the details in your story, which for me does not look 100% like coincidences. Maybe I am wrong but is worth considering a more deterministic scenario.

First, the vet is a real one? I mean, did she/he graduated a Vet School? Does he/she has a valid practice permit? Did you saw your own eyes the diploma? In my country there is a National Register and a Guild of Vets which take care of such administrative issues. My guess (a guess) is that there is little chance to meet a faked one, but better exclude this for sure.

And second, again - if you allow me - did you ever perform a hazardous substances test in you home? How much do you know about hazardous circumstances (chemical industries, pesticides and alike) in your neighborhood and surrounding area? Have you ever think to these risks/possibilities? Is there any similar cases you know near your home?

 

[Mylittlepony]

Thank you Solomonar, yes the vet comes with all the required qualifications and recommendations and is in fact very highly regarded in the area and surrounding areas, so much so, that I went back with Harry after Clark died. Clark and Harry were both rescue cats who came with their own problems, but overcame them for years and were happy and contented. As rescue's we didnt really know their ages so particularly with Harry, his age was a guestimate and with a wide range as some people thought he looked very young. My concern is the pattern of quick diagnosis to some ongoing expensive condition, which never becomes stable, in both cases and then the tumour diagnosis. Thank you for your interest and kind thoughts.

 

[solomonar]

Sorry for insisting - but from your words I guess you never saw and never check the qualification/references (your own eyes, not word of mouth).

I know a dentist here who keep treating people for many years, before one discovered all his references were faked and he never graduated a real dentistry Faculty. A lot of people praised him as a nice and good dentist before that :-).

I also came across a guy who advertised himself as a "Holistic practician of medicine" - a misleading piece of publicity, since he never graduated as a physician, but only picking a few months course of "holistic practice" .

I am a bit concerned because as far as I know rushing into costly and risky practices is not exactly a common approach. Maybe I am wrong, there are so many approaches in this world.

Anyway, I do not want to over-worry (or whatever the proper English word may be).

 

[Mylittlepony]

I'm in England and the vet went to the RCVS (Royal College of Veterinary Surgeons) her qualifications are on the wall in the surgery and also she wouldnt be able to say this on her website if it wasnt true, so I have no worries about that. It's more emotional and concern about treatment which may have been unnecessary or missing tumours because an xray wasn't done, and not knowing how quickly conditions can become visible. I do understand your concerns.

 

[solomonar]

OK.

Then why you dont just (politely) ask her why she didnt perform an x-ray?

Or even better, tell her about your worries (again, in a very diplomatic way). And only if you know you can do it and she can understand this approach in a correct way, not to take it like an accusation. Perhaps you may show your preoccupation for a preventive attitude from now on, and therefore you may find useful to know more about the given condition. Something like that.

This problem of bad or missing communication is quite common in my home-country, so I do not blame anybody for failing the dialogue.

I am just thinking in very pragmatic terms now.

 

[Mylittlepony]

I had no reason to ask for an xray at the beginning when she said it was hyperthyroidism but after months of medication and only following blood test results, ie increase dose, wrong, overdose, decrease dose, and that (in my opinion) causing the constipation. The sedation's to treat this I find hard, because the tumour was not spotted at these times, but as people have said it may not have been obvious then, and I have to believe that. I have got all of the notes from her and she obviously says she proceeded in the proper way and of course I have doubts.

 

[solomonar]

Then why dont you tell her these doubts?

Obviously, you are not convinced by the notes you read. But maybe they are not complete, maybe she failed to say something important. Or maybe you didnt get her point from the notes.

Imagine that a vet shall focus on cases and sometimes just dont have the time to write or to speak to much. It is also very important therefore for you to be clear and concise in your questions. This conversation is not that easy one may assume, for both of you.

You may find interesting to read advises for the human patients about how to speak to their physicians. What questions to rise and how. How to deal with confuse topics and so on.

 

[Antonio65]

M Mylittlepony , I'm so sorry for what you have been through, and I am sorry that your precious Clark and Harry had to suffer because a vet hasn't been able to do her job.
I sympathize with you, because I have been victim of the same malpractice and my sweet cat paid the consequences.

Before that episode I had a very high consideration of the vets, to me they were much better doctors than those for humans.
Then my cat got sick and I started my tour from vet to vet, from clinic to clinic, in the naive attempt to have her diagnosed.
It took 2 months for them to understand what it was, but they were unable to go further because the situation had gone so downhill that any effort was nearly void.
I had to do somethingon my own to recover her health, but then my cat had to undergo a surgery to fix the issue for good. Prior to the surgery they performed a CT scan. This scan led them to a correct surgery, but looking at the scan, they missed a small mass, in a total different location and totally unrelated to her main issue. By missing that small mass, that later grew to a big mass, they sentenced my cat to death!
I will never forgive them, none of them!
Vets have no excuses for the damages they do!

My other cat was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, but my vets didn't want to help me through the radio-iodine therapy process (I am in Italy, we do not have any such a facility here) and I had to arrange the appointment and the treatment on my own, again...!

In more than one occasion I had to correct them (different vets, in different practices), because they were saying wrong things.
I'm sick and tired to deal with people who can't do their job but claim they are the only ones entitled to give an opinion on an issue only because they are graduate!

I always ask for two opinions, and then I check any information on the web.

You say you live in England, you have about ten different facilities in your country to successfully treat hyperthyroidism for good. I went to Belgium to have my cat treated. I'm appalled that your vet wanted to play the butcher and remove Harry's gland, while she didn't even know if it was HT.

Some vets should be jailed for life!

 

[Mylittlepony]

Antonio I am also sorry to hear what you have gone through, its so hard when there is nothing more that can be done. Sometimes I dont know what to think, do vet's rely too much on blood tests, or do they diagnose what they 'think' is wrong and then see what they want to see in the blood tests. I believe that is what happened to Harry. I'm still not sure about the blood work, and then to alter medication based on that, rather than what they observe with the cat, seems wrong. In retrospect, I should never have agreed to having the thyroid removed and should have had the constipation dealt with properly which turned out to be the major problem. Then Harry would not have gone through everything while he had the undetected tumour. That is my main sadness, that the end of his life was not peaceful, at home without the stress of the vet visits. Like you Antonio, I put my cat in the hands I thought were the best for him. I don't know if he would have survived a lot longer without the vet interference but I feel it would have been a more peaceful ending for him. You always hope they understand that we are doing our best for them, don't you, even if it doesn't turn out right.

 

[Antonio65]

do vet's rely too much on blood tests, or do they diagnose what they 'think' is wrong and then see what they want to see in the blood tests.

From what my experience is, sometimes vets can't even understand the blood tests. More than relying on blood test, they rely on what the book says, too often they do not think out of the box, their rule of the thumb is "it never happened before, so it can't happen now".
My sweet Lola, pictured left, had an extremely rare disease that wasn't diagnosed because it was so rare "that it was impossible for a cat to have it", so they thought of it only when all other options had gone wrong. They wasted two months!

A two months old kitten that I found a fostered 4 years ago died from a kidney issue. I noticed that something was wrong with him, I told the vets that I thought it was his kidneys, they replied that no very young kitten had ever had a kidney problem before, so they didn't want to listen to me and treat him accordingly.
The poor Leo died three weeks later from kidney disease...

My cat Pallina could have had bad consequences when my vets didn't think that she was having a pancreatitis. All symptoms for it were missing, but I was totally sure she had it. I had to argue with them to have the test done. They did the test.
I was right, they were wrong. But I was the one to be told off because I dared to challenge their knowledge and put their diploma in doubt.

And many other examples!

Too many vets do not think out of the box!

I don't know if he would have survived a lot longer without the vet interference but I feel it would have been a more peaceful ending for him. You always hope they understand that we are doing our best for them, don't you, even if it doesn't turn out right.

There was a time when I DID know that I was putting my cats in the best hands possible.
Now I know that I don't trust anybody anymore, no matter who they are, no matter how reputable they are. I just don't trust them anymore!