All of a sudden want to adopt a cat that looks like my cat that passed away! Help.

[bayareakitties]

Hi everyone, I thought someone here might relate to my problem: About 6 years ago now I lost a cat I was very attached too. He was of a buff color, like tan. I was warned not to try to adopt another buff cat because it can be upsetting, some people adopt cats that look like the cat they lost and have emotional issues around that So I adopted black cats, and really it's been positive. Things have been great, I adore my news cats and I thought I was ok with the loss and have moved on now. But then I met a buff/tan cat at a local shelter and I can't stop thinking of adopting him. I don't have a large space and it's probably nuts on my part. I really don't know what to do now. If i adopt him like anything else I can make it work i am sure in my space. But I can't tell if I actually want to adopt again or if I am just bringing up the past. Can any of your relate? What should I do?

 

[Furballsmom]

But I can't tell if I actually want to adopt again or if I am just bringing up the past.

This cat is himself, he's not any other cat. If you truly know that and can accept him and respect him for who he is, then it's just logistics.

If you have the space, time, energy and money, then by all means give him your home, and your loving open mind

 

[catapault]

We have mostly had solid gray or solid black cats. I never thought that I was trying to replace a cat that was gone, just finding a cat that I felt a link with.

If you are worried about emotional issues can you ask about fostering to adopt? It would give the buff cat a respite from the shelter and you can see how it fits into your home and with you.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

Sometimes you just connect with a certain animal. As long as you know in your heart that they are not the same then I don’t see a problem. (As long as you have the resources of course.)

 

[bayareakitties]

Thank you everyone. I am still not sure what I am going to do but I am going to meditate on it a bit...thank you!

 

[Furballsmom]

The fact that you're being so thoughtful about it, and taking your time to determine the best thing to do, says a lot about you!

...the foster idea from C catapault is great by the way. Let us know what you decide

 

[Antonio65]

The cat you see in my avatar was my soul kitty, we had a very strong bond, and when she passed away I felt like I was dying myself.
About 18 months later I came across a kitten that would remind me of her so much. The kitten was looking for a home, and after thinking about it a lot I decided to adopt her.
To cut a long story short, it didn't work out well, and a couple of weeks later I had to return her to the rescue.

Another year goes by, and another kitten that would resemble my lost cat was looking for a home. Same thing, a long time thinking if it was a good thing, then I adopted her.
Again, to cut a long story short, she had to be rehomed and now she's happy in another family.

My two experiences with look alike cats taught me that in my case it wasn't the best idea.

In a hindsight, I think that every cat is unique and probably wants its own place in our heart and mind, so any other cat must be different in aspect than the previous ones.
All cats in my signature where different in color and aspect, maybe this is the key to success.

 

[les26]

Well the dapper little guy you see in my avatar is Sylvester, and he is a purrfect combination of Simon who was a Tuxedo and Sebastian who was a long haired black cat with a plume of a tail, and he not only reminds me of those two great boys but is a WONDERFUL cat in his own right, I think I love him as much as I loved those two combined, but he is his own cat, he is not a replacement for those two but is a gentle reminder of them.

I think your heart with tell you and lead you where you need to go.....

 

[CatGuyAZ]

When my wonderful C.C. passed on years ago, I initially wanted to avoid other tuxedo cats for the same reason, but I found one on Petfinder who seemed so special that I had to meet him. I adopted him, and had him 15 years, and loved him every bit as much as I had C.C. That was Onyx, a truly wonderful and loving kitty that I am so glad that I did not pass up.

Onyx had very similar coloring compared to C.C., but Onyx was long-haired, and their facial features were quite different (not the markings... the shape of the facial bones). Their personalities were quite different too, even though both were sweethearts. Maybe those things made them different enough, even though the most obvious thing was their shared coloration. I never resented Onyx for not being C.C. or anything like that. I wanted him to be himself, and he was! And that was every bit as wonderful as what C.C. had been.

Others above have had other experiences, so it comes down to the person, I guess. Every person is different!

 

[doomsdave]

B bayareakitties I've been there and done that, and I'd do it again.

There's so many that need love, and are willing to give it. I have a good friend who had trouble the same way after losing his cat. Maybe just focus on the good memories, of which I'm sure there are many. Maybe just re-live the joys again.

 

[molly92]

If you'd only ever had one cat before, it might be riskier, but you're an experienced owner and know that each cat comes with their own set of delights and challenges. Even if you associate this cat with the old one, I think you'd still be able to separate them because cats have such distinct personalities. I might be extrapolating from my own feelings though.

Another important question would be, how would it make you feel to be reminded of your former cat whenever you looked at him? Do you keep pictures around that bring you joy to look at, or are the memories still painful?