Aggressive cat...PLEASE HELP!

[stampit3d]

We are having a problem with one of our cats being aggressive towards another timid one.

Tedy, our timid one, is just  getting better from a bladder blockage procedure, and we are watching them close and keeping them separated when it starts. This is NOT a new problem, but we have found out that the aggressonion against him may have added to the bladder problem in  Tedy.

Tawny is the youngest, (7 years old) and the aggressive one, and we have had him almost 6 years.

Our other 2, Toby, (the alpha) and Tedy are both almost 9 and we have had them since they were kittens. (Not litter mates)

Toby has always gotten along fine  with both other cats, but Tawny has been aggressive towards Tedy since day one....not all the time, but a few times everyday he raises himself up, bushes out his hair, tips his head sideways at Tedy with his ears laid back, and then almost raises himself up on his tiptoes and walks sideways at him. Tedy gets scared and runs to hide, and then is chased ,and Tawny will bite or scratch at him until Tedy gets to a safe place that Tawny can`t reach him....usually up high where Tawny is not as apt to get as.

Tawny has always gotten along with my husband, but he and I were not too crazy about each other at first. He`d show aggression towards me too....for just wanting to pet him.(First time I ever had a problem making friends with a cat, I might add!) He might allow me to pet for a minute or two and then he`d bite at or scratch at me. It never drew blood, but still hurt. I`ve learned to just leave him alone when he acts out and after a bit he`ll be "over it". We have grown to like each other over time...I just let him come to me when he wants my attention...and I quit petting when I notice his ears start to flatten. (His cue to me that he has had enough for the moment)....He NEVER does this to my husband, I might add.

My concern is his aggression towards Tedy. (Darn it, I wish Tedy would defend himself ...it would probably only take once, as he has super long claws , is much bigger, and I have no doubt that he could "take" Tawny if he wanted to ....but alas, Tedy is a lover, and not at all a fighter and he will not fight back)

I`m nervous about them being together in the same room as you never know when Tawny`s mood is going to shift and Tedy is going to get the brunt of it....and I fear that Tedy getting too stressed will cause him to have the bladder problem again.

I am sick of having to watch constantly...and shut doors to keep them away from each other when I can`t.

I will NEVER go away and leave them in the same room again....I just wonder how much of this has been going on whenever we have been gone!

If we are watching and see him begin his bullying, we will say, "Tawny....you be a good boy!".....and often that is enough and he`ll turn and slink away ....for the moment anyhow.....if he doesn't and continues in the bullying stance, he will get a squirt in the rear end from the water bottle...and that sends him scurrying away.....but we can see it every time...and he does seems to know when we are watching.

Friends have suggested that we rehome Tawny...but I`m not at all comfortable with that. It is out of the question, as I would not want to feel responsible for him hurting someone else. (He really does NOT like little kids either.) 

I also fear that someone else might hurt him for his aggression...and I don`t want that either.

When we first got him I was afraid he might have a brain tumor or something....but we`ve had him for 6 years and he`s still alive, so I doubt that`s the case.

Our vet has never touched him. He has given him his shots with Larry holding him with his back to the vet.....originally the vet was going to charge us $20 for a first visit call, since he hadn't seen Tawny before....but Tawny was so awful sounding that the vet and his assistant both backed away when Larry took him out of his carrier. The vet just asked a few questions about his eating and litter habits and never charged us the $20. Thankfully Tawny has never been sick.

Tawny was already neutered when we got him...(as are our other 2)and I wonder how in the heck a vet got close enough to him to put him under to do it.

We are retired and can NOT afford a cat "shrink" to try to figure out why he is this way...we just need some ideas of how to handle the situation.

PLEASE HELP! (And sorry this is so long....but it had to be in order to give you a fairly full picture of what is happening)

Thanks so much in advance for any help anyone can give.- Linda

 

[mani]

So has this been going on for the whole 6 years?  Is it getting worse?  I'm concerned that no vet has really checked Tawny out as they're scared of him.  Is there a chance he actually has a physical condition that is making him aggressive?  I once had a cat that was so aggressive the vet put on huge arm-length solid leather gloves and sedated her.

Honestly, the water bottle won't help.  It can often exacerbate the situation: 

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/cats-and-discipline-dont-mix

I'm guessing you've tried the Feliway diffusers? It could at least just take the edge off.

Sometimes there's not enough 'territory' .. Do you have lots of tall cat trees and hidey holes?

Flower essences are not wildly expensive and can do wonders. 

Of course it wouldn't work to re-home.  You're doing a great job trying to work through this, and hopefully there will be a way around it.

 

[stampit3d]

Thank you for your reply.

We have Feliway....not sure that it is doing anything though.

We have known that Tawny didn't really care for Tedy. (He has always liked our alpha cat, Toby, however.......but mostly Tedy and Tawny would avoid one another and only occasionally would there be a spat between them, but since Tedy starting having urinary problems this spring Tawny has become increasingly more aggressive towards him.

We are retired, so are home a lot of the time....but whenever we come home from the store, or visiting friends, Tedy would be soooo glad to see us, greeting us at the door like a dog and hanging around us, as if we`d been gone for a long time.....more so these past several months...and now we are wondering if possibly Tawny has been meaner to him that we had realized, esp when we were not around. (Makes me sick to imagine that he may have chased and tormented the life out of him!)

Tawny is not a stupid cat......he has figured out that we watch him for signs that he is trying to get aggressive...and now he skips the prelude and just goes for Tedy.

We have noticed these past few weeks, when Tedy was recouping from the bladder blockage procedure, that there has not been nearly the amount of blond cat hair .....always thought they were just more sheddy than Toby, our dark cat.....now we are wondering if a lot of the excess hair was from fighting....although we have never found blood or seen any cuts on Tedy. I think possibly the stress also may have contributed to Teddy`s excess shedding....he always sheds like mad whenever we have had to take him to the vet too.....as that stresses him.

Since I started this thread we have simply made the decision that we must keep the 2 of them apart, so we are playing "musical cats" with them taking turns in the bedroom. Not too many options here as far as space goes a we live in a tiny home. (Used to have a much bigger home, but had to greatly downsize when my husband had to retire because of a disability 2 years ago)  I would not have chosen to have more than one cat in a house this size, but we already had all 3 of our "boys"....so what do you do?

Thankfully the cats are a bit older since we have moved here, and they do spend a lot of time sleeping during the day, so moving them back and forth and keeping the bedroom door shut until someone scratches on it (to signal a kitty-change-over) is keeping Tedy safe. We have no other idea as to what we can do. It makes us sad not to be able to let them roam the house at their leisure and to be with us, all three of them at the same time.....but it`s just the way it has to be.

Rehoming Tawny is probably not going to happen. No one is knocking on my door to adopt a 7 year old cat . People looking for a cat usually want a kitten...and they`d have to promise that they would keep him as an only pet and keep him away from small kids. (He WILL scratch them, if he feels cornered, even if  they are just wanting to pet him...he does NOT like little kids!)

At least Tedy is feeling better.....and everyone seems happy enough with the present situation (except us) so it is just the way it will have to be.

I do not believe that Tawny has a physical problem. (I think he must have been separated from his mama cat too early, as he doesn't seem to know how a cat is supposed to behave....never grooms our alpha, although he does like to be groomed by him.)

Tawny sleeps, eats , uses the litter box and plays fine. (Although our alpha did have to show him how to cover his poop.....It was like he`d never been taught by his mom....and our alpha is very clean and could not abide the uncovered poop. He would enter the litter, find it, and stand and yowl to call Tawny....and then when he`d come, Toby would go in and SHOW him how to cover the poop. After several times Tawny learned and started covering it himself.)

We even have discussed having Tawny put down to .bring peace to the house hold.....but we both end up crying and it is not something we can bring ourselves to do, as we love him too, even with his "catitude"

I will check back to see if anyone else might have a better solution for us.....but I just don`t know what it could possibly be.

Thanks again for your reply.

 

[mrsgreenjeens]

I kind of have the same situation in my household, though not to that same extent.  I have 3 cats, and one gets along with everyone, but the other two do not like each other.  One is quite timid, and the other "rules the roost" so to speak.  However, the main difference is that they can usually tolerate each other rather than actually fight.  Usually.

One thing I recently read to help cats get along better is to brush them as if they were rubbing against each other to get their scents on each other, so I  actually started doing that, even though they have lived together now for four years.  What you do is brush one on their head, shoulders or sides (just 4 or 5 brush strokes should be enough in one sitting), then before you clean the fur out of the brush, go brush the other one in the same place.  This transfers the scent.  Then go back and to the first one again.  Do this a few times a day, but the next time, start with the other cat.  I noticed after just a day or two of doing this that my two actually started sniffing each other without the usual taking a wide path around that usually took place

  And, of course, anytime they interact without fighting, praise the heck out of them. 

Did you ever formally integrate them?  I didn't with the oldest one in my household and her "old" roommate, and they never got along, and now I suspect that is why she doesn't like one of the "newbies"!  They say it's never too late to do it, which does start with keeping them totally separated, then slowly reintroducing them just a few minutes at a time, usually during meal times when they are doing something they enjoy, then immediately separating them again, etc.   The idea is getting them used to being together during "happy times", then increasing the times, and immediately separating them when one starts getting stressed or aggressive.  It took us 5 months to integrate our "newbies", and as I said, two don't really like each other, but they DO tolerate each other, so it was worth it.

 

[stampit3d]

Thank you for replying back for me...I really do appreciate all of you here on TCS.

I have always used the same brush on our cats everyday and often don`t empty the brush until I`m done. (Tawny however does not tolerate much brushing...but the other 2 love it)

I have also swapped their sleeping blankets back and forth without washing them to further help them smell more like each other, especially since Tedy`s recent stay at the vets ,when he came home smelling like a complete stranger to Tawny and Toby.

We got Toby and Tedy when they were kittens, although a few months apart, so they learned to get along fairly quickly...cause they wanted to PLAY!

The two of them were almost 3 when we got Tawny. We shut Tawny in a separate bedroom for several days and swapped blankies back and forth and brushed them with the same brush. They smelled each other under the bedroom door and when I would go in to play with or feed Tawny, the other two would hissy and growl as I opened the door.....strangely, thinking back now, this "cat from hell", that Tawny has become, NEVER did hiss or growl back at them...not even when, about a week after he`d been there, he suddenly darted out past me one morning, to the great surprise of the other two who  were waiting to greet him with their usual hisses....even then Tawny didn't return the catitude, but sat down and started preening himself in front of them as if he`d always lived there, then, as they were sneaking hissy sniffs of him, he finally just walked away as if he didn't even notice them....and he NEVER once ran and hid or acted like most cats do in a strange place where they sneak around to cautiously check out their new surroundings.  We`ve moved twice since we lived there and he is the same everyplace we go....you just drop him into a new place and he lays down in the middle of the floor as if he`s where he`s always been!

Seems hard to imagine that a cat that can act that calm and serene on one hand could be such a stinker with Tedy, eh?

I can not let them share eating times together, as Tedy is on a prescription diet and can`t have what the other 2 eat...and knowing him he`d gobble his own down then nose his way into the other 2`s dishes.

They do all love catnip, but under the circumstances, I`m not sure that is a good idea to put them together then.....or do you find that that being a "happy time" , are you are able to do that with your cats????

I will also try being more deliberate with the alternate brushing that you spoke of and be more purposeful in getting Tedy and tawnys scent transferred to each other.

I sure do hope that something helps.....at least for when we are all right here. (Not leaving them alone when we are not here, even if they do start to get along better when we are here...if I get to the place I feel I can try them together again.)

A friend told me about some calming drops that can be petted onto your offending cat....and some kind of calming chews....anyone know anything or have an experience with either of these? I`m waiting to hear back form her exactly what they are called , how they work and where to get them and cost......hopefully, if I investigate them and find them safe, it is something that will help more than the Feliway has!

 

[feralvr]

I feel for you and actually have the same sort of problem with one of my cats picking on another. It has taken almost TWO YEARS for Perla to finally accept Wendall and his teasings. Wendall seems to like to taunt and tease Perla but never really touches her but will chase her when she runs to get away (screaming, hissing the whole time!!!) Wendall is also smart as you say Tawny is. He KNOWS when we are watching and slinks off looking all innocent. :lol3: He does wait till the all clear to try his advances with Perla. I also have a helper amongst my crew and his name is Pipsqueak. OH BOY - does he give it to Wendall when he attempts his banter towards Perla. Your situation does sound much more severe than mine, though. Wendall really is easily intimidated and really does not want to get in any trouble so it has been easy to manage.

IMO, scent swapping won't do anything at this point since they have already lived together for so long and probably already sleep/nap where the other has. I will say that sometimes two cats, no matter what you do, will never live peacefully together. What we hope/pray for it to find tolerance between the two. Have you tried these from Jackson Galaxy? I have heard wonderful things and even use the "bully" on Wendall and the "peacemaker" on Perla. http://store.jacksongalaxy.com/ I highly recommend them and know of two other families with cat aggression that have success with these essences. What about trying an anti-depressant temporarily for Tawny? Elavil would be my choice. You would only have to use it for at the most a couple of months and in that time, it may help resolve his habitual aggressive behavioral attempts at Tedy. Talk with the vet and see if that would be a good option for Tawny. It does sound like you are at your wits end and at this point I would try anything to break that cycle and medication may be the answer.

Stress absolutely will wreck havoc on a cat's bladder wall causing much inflammation but more so diet could be an additional culprit. What are you feeding Tedy? Dry cat foods, with their high plant contecnt, cause a very alkaline urine PH. This is an unnatural environment in the cat's bladder, leading to inflammation. You may already being feeding canned food but I would absolutely never feed any dry food to a cat that has blocked. Tawny may also be picking on Tedy knowing that he is unwell. Geesh, some cats can be so nasty to another...

 

[stampit3d]

Thanks so much for the web site. I`ll be sure to check it out. I have heard of this guy before, but we can`t get the Animal Planet, so I can`t watch his show.

The only reason we have been swapping blankies at this late date is because Tedy was several days at the vet and came home smelling like a stranger to the other 2 and was rejected by them.....so we were hoping that it would help to get the hospital smell off of him.

We are sure hoping that we can find something that will help!

 

[tammyp]

You  can watch it...just not through Animal Planet.  Try this, it's the only way I can get it in Australia:

http://www.primewire.ag/tv-2731618-My-Cat-from-Hell/season-3-episode-9

 

[stampit3d]

Hey....THANKS!!!!

 

[katluver4life]

You  can watch it...just not through Animal Planet.  Try this, it's the only way I can get it in Australia:

http://www.primewire.ag/tv-2731618-My-Cat-from-Hell/season-3-episode-9

You can also watch it on the Animal Planet website.http://animal.discovery.com/tv-shows/my-cat-from-hell. I gave up cable years ago and watch everything online

Another trick I found here on TCS. After I had my Jack at the groomer, he came home smelling different and was immediately attacked by my older male Boots. I of course immediately came here looking for tips and when I ran a search I found this: http://www.thecatsite.com/t/197159/...ut-other-cat-doesnt-recognize-her-anymore-wth. Worked like a charm for me. Though my Boots stopped acting like Jack was a stranger, he continued to roam the house looking for that "stranger"