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- May 16, 2020
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My precious baby kitten Peanut is scheduled to be euthanized tomorrow. To make a long story short, since May 10 he has been sick and is suffering from kidney insufficiency/failure. He is a 11 week old kitten who was raised with his mother and litter in a barn until 8weeks old. We’ve ruled out causes of his sickness such as worms, exposure to something toxic, and obstructions of any sort. Our only theory is congenital kidney dysplasia, although an ultrasound showed no structural abnormalities on the outside of the kidneys. We are not financially blessed enough to afford a biopsy following the $4000 we’ve spent trying to treat him over the past two weeks, nor do we want to put him through the trauma of surgery in the state he’s in. He is shared by my boyfriend and I. I’m currently unemployed due to COVID, so I’ve been able to spend pretty much every day with him and have been making more of the difficult decisions about his care and treatment. I also have drained my savings paying for most of his care since my BF has CC debt & student loans, and my student loans are federal so they’re on hold until September. The point of this post is that I have come to terms with the fate of our kitten Peanut much faster than my BF has, because I’ve gotten to spend all this time with kitty whereas my BF works 40+ hour weeks, M-F and sometimes also Saturday, 6:30am til whenever he’s done with his tasks, usually around 5:30-6:30pm. He is struggling to emotionally come to terms with this because he feels like he didn’t get to spend the quality time with our kitten like I did. How can i help him through this? I’m afraid his grief will turn into anger towards me for seeming to not be as upset as him, when in reality I have been going through the grief process at home for about a week already. I know a major part of the grief process is remembering happy memories, which I have plenty of since I’ve been with the kitten all the time, whereas my BF only has a few memories like the day we brought kitty home. How can we grieve when we only got to spend less than 3 weeks with our kitten, and when we feel like we failed him as pet parents? He was healthy and active for the first 9 days and we’re afraid this was somehow our fault. Any words of advice are helpful as we are both at a loss, and having to both grieve our kitten and also take care of my BF’s breakdown caused by this is taking a massive toll on my mental health. Thank you in advance
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