Advice Grieving Loss of a Kitten

[peanutmiller74]

My precious baby kitten Peanut is scheduled to be euthanized tomorrow. To make a long story short, since May 10 he has been sick and is suffering from kidney insufficiency/failure. He is a 11 week old kitten who was raised with his mother and litter in a barn until 8weeks old. We’ve ruled out causes of his sickness such as worms, exposure to something toxic, and obstructions of any sort. Our only theory is congenital kidney dysplasia, although an ultrasound showed no structural abnormalities on the outside of the kidneys. We are not financially blessed enough to afford a biopsy following the $4000 we’ve spent trying to treat him over the past two weeks, nor do we want to put him through the trauma of surgery in the state he’s in. He is shared by my boyfriend and I. I’m currently unemployed due to COVID, so I’ve been able to spend pretty much every day with him and have been making more of the difficult decisions about his care and treatment. I also have drained my savings paying for most of his care since my BF has CC debt & student loans, and my student loans are federal so they’re on hold until September. The point of this post is that I have come to terms with the fate of our kitten Peanut much faster than my BF has, because I’ve gotten to spend all this time with kitty whereas my BF works 40+ hour weeks, M-F and sometimes also Saturday, 6:30am til whenever he’s done with his tasks, usually around 5:30-6:30pm. He is struggling to emotionally come to terms with this because he feels like he didn’t get to spend the quality time with our kitten like I did. How can i help him through this? I’m afraid his grief will turn into anger towards me for seeming to not be as upset as him, when in reality I have been going through the grief process at home for about a week already. I know a major part of the grief process is remembering happy memories, which I have plenty of since I’ve been with the kitten all the time, whereas my BF only has a few memories like the day we brought kitty home. How can we grieve when we only got to spend less than 3 weeks with our kitten, and when we feel like we failed him as pet parents? He was healthy and active for the first 9 days and we’re afraid this was somehow our fault. Any words of advice are helpful as we are both at a loss, and having to both grieve our kitten and also take care of my BF’s breakdown caused by this is taking a massive toll on my mental health. Thank you in advance

 

[Furballsmom]

Geez, I'm so sorry!! This might help;

Lend Me A Kitten

I will lend to you a kitten, God said, for you to love while it lives, and mourn when it's dead. Maybe for 12 or 14 years, or maybe 2 or 3, but will you, 'till I call them back, take care of them for me? They'll bring their charms to gladden you, and should their stay be brief, you'll always...

thecatsite.com

Maybe this site can help as well;

Day By Day Caregiver Support Inc. – Providing compassionate support for the grief that comes before, during and after the loss of a pet

daybydaypetsupport.com

 

[Petey's Dad]

He is a beautiful kitten. If he is not suffering I would let nature take it's course. You've sacrificed so much financially already indicating your deep commitment and love for him. He may have longer on this earth than you think. I have a cat that I'm certain would have died years ago if I hadn't changed her diet. She could barely get out of bed if she ate any canned or dry food. After 1 or 2 meals of canned or dry food she would lay in her bed with drool and mucus coming out of her mouth and nose. I had to rush her to the vet when she was 3 months old and when I got her out of the vet the next day started feeding her a homemade raw diet. As long as she's on that diet she doesn't get sick. She also doesn't get sick if she eats FreshPet Select. If I try to give her any canned or dry food she will invariably be too sick to eat at next mealtime. She's now 10 years old. Try making her a homemade raw diet or get FreshPet Select and add The Missing Link Original Formula to it. Both can be found at PetSmart. The goal should be to have him for as long as possible as long he's not suffering. If the vet says he is suffering by all means end his suffering. I have no idea how long he can have a good quality of life, but it may be worth it to find out.

 

[jefferd18]

i agree with Petey's Dad. If your baby is not suffering you may want to put off the euthanasia. You do not have a firm diagnosis,(much less a fatal one) and the ultra-sound should no obstruction to his kidney's. I have had many cats who were proclaimed by vets to be on death's door and each one has lived to their late teens.

I know this hard on you, emotionally and financially, but please reconsider getting another opinion.

 

[les26]

Yes there are many natural products to help with immune and kidney issues, look into Transfer Factors Plus which helps with immune health, we had a cat Serenity years ago that an MRI showed a brain tumor and I thought "that's it, she's done" but a vet suggested this along with Prednisone and she lived 1.5 years after that and it was a good life for that time! Also Google remedies for kidney problems in cats, there are many and they might be worth trying before you go on with ending this little one's life! And if they don't help and things keep getting worse, then of course you need to think about it, but as long as there's life there's HOPE!!!

PLEASE check out these things before you go through this very traumatic event!!!

 

[di and bob]

I live right now with cats that have Leukemia, and 7 months ago they were thought to be terminal because they were so sick and euthanasia was suggested. They are happy and healthy right now, and I pray they will stay that way for as long as they can. when there is no hope and no enjoyment of life, that is the time to end a life. If there is any hope at all, or there is no appearance of suffering, keep on until there is no more. I started them on DMG I got on amazon to build up their immune systems, and I know there are many treatments for kidney health too. I have had many cats that have recovered after being at death's door. There are still miracles in this world.
My heart goes out to you, I know what a difficult decision this is. If the is no hope and the suffering is apparent, there really is no choice. You can never prepare your heart for when it really happens, so be prepared for all the should-haves and guilt that accompanies a decision like this. It is one of the hardest decisions in life. I pray you come to peace with whatever decision you make, I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. May God watch over that sweet baby.....

 

[edie56]

please try these diets to help her live better

 

[Mamanyt1953]

And please, please, even if you had to go through with the euthanasia, let us know what is happening. We are here for and with you.