How to smooth transition when a family member leaves?

[Sarah M]

Hello everyone,

I hope this is the right place for this post. I have a total of 4 cats, all female. One is still being introduced, but the three are a bonded group. The thing is, while they are all very close to me, one of my cats, Snow, is also very close to my mother. The problem is that my mother is leaving the country forever and won't be back anytime soon. Now, Snow is very close to me as well, but she has developed a special bond with my Mom. So much so that when my mom goes to the washroom or steps out of the house, Snow gets very concerned. I know that this is going to be a hard time for Snow, and also the other cats, because my mom was always at home. (I work a full time job and my mom was staying with me) My mom will be flying tonight and I know that Snow will be depressed. So my question is what can I do to make it smoother for Snow and also the other cats?

I've watched many videos where they say that if you say bye to the cats before leaving, they panic and think something is wrong? Is there any truth to it?

Snow is otherwise a very confident kitty, loves to climb up on her tree or the wall shelves. She has a very confident temperament and gets along with anyone and everyone. Her tail is always up like an antenna! I would hate for her to have a hard time and I need to do whatever possible to help her. Please any advice is helpful.

Just FYI though, Snow doesn't do too well on pheromone sprays or diffusers and get really agitated. So I don't use them.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi
Hopefully there's an article of clothing and a blanket that your mom used regularly that she would be willing to leave behind, so that the cats especially Snow have it/them to lie on and snuggle into.

Also, try Cat Music - it can be surprisingly effective. There are a lot of varieties, so if one doesn't seem to do much, try a different source.

 

[Sarah M]

Hi
Hopefully there's an article of clothing and a blanket that your mom used regularly that she would be willing to leave behind, so that the cats especially Snow have it/them to lie on and snuggle into.

Also, try Cat Music - it can be surprisingly effective. There are a lot of varieties, so if one doesn't seem to do much, try a different source.

Yes, I've already prepared mom's bedroom, with several of her things and blanket in it. So that's done.

I will try cat music, thanks for the suggestion.

Anything else I can do?

Her usual process is to meow excessively. Is there anything I can do to reduce that?

 

[FeebysOwner]

Her usual process is to meow excessively. Is there anything I can do to reduce that?

You can't reduce her meowing if that is what she needs to do to express her dismay over the changes she is going to go through. All you can do is the best you can to reinforce that she has you by extra attention and living - and the suggestions mentioned above. Maybe this TCS article will help a bit.
Do Cats Mourn? Supporting Your Pet through Loss - TheCatSite

 

[Alldara]

You may also like to ask the vet for some anxiety medicine if it's hard for her to move past it.

 

[Sarah M]

Hey guys, thanks for all the suggestions. It's been 3 days few days since my mom left. Snow has not been anxious and is not meowing excessively. In fact, she seems to be doing fine. She is eating well and is generally her usual self. I have been giving her extra attention and trying to keep her distracted. So far so good. I hope this continues.

I had made it a point to show Snow that mom has left. Snow is a very smart kitty. She has all the braincells so she may have understood that mom is gone somewhere. I'm also making it a point to not video call mom so she doesn't accidentally see mom and it triggers her. So it's been going well so far.

 

[Furballsmom]

This is great news, thanks so much for the update !