Advice Desperately Needed

[will2002]

We have a ten year old male cat that I believe is suffering from severe desperation. We got "Charlie", an orange and yellow Tabby, almost ten years ago from an auto repair shop where he had just walked in as about an eight week old kitten. We took Charlie home to his new "brother Toby", an eighteen month old Siamese. Much to our surprise, and joy, these two cats hit it off immediately, playing and romping just like two little littermates. They were very close like that for over nine years.

This past April 16, we lost Toby due to a sudden illness. He was fine and dandy one day, two days later he was gone. I could tell immediately that Charlie was really missing his friend, however I thought in time he would return to "normal". That had NOT happened! He is worse off today than any time since Toby's passing. We have three younger female cats in the house, but he shows absolutely no interest in them at all. The only thing he does is sleep. He eats and drinks ok, but nothing else. He just sleeps. He's not interested in anything at all, absolutely nothing!

I have had many cats in my care over the past fifty some years, but I have NEVER had one acting like Charlie is... Anyone have any ideas how to make it better for him? I am at a total loss as for anything to even try!

 

[betsygee]

Aww, poor little guy. Have you taken him to the vet to rule out any health issues?

 

[tabbytom]

The only thing he does is sleep. He eats and drinks ok, but nothing else. He just sleeps. He's not interested in anything at all, absolutely nothing!

So sorry to hear about Toby

Charlie is most likely to be in grieve about Toby's passing and he is mourning for him.

Here's an article for you to read :- do-cats-mourn.32396

 

[will2002]

Aww, poor little guy. Have you taken him to the vet to rule out any health issues?

Planning on doing that tomorrow morning.

 

[will2002]

So sorry to hear about Toby

Charlie is most likely to be in grieve about Toby's passing and he is mourning for him.

Here's an article for you to read :- do-cats-mourn.32396

Thanks! Good article... Sounds like my Charlie cat.

 

[stacydc83]

Hi! I definitely know what your going through. Lily was severely depressed 3 years ago. I had another cat, Callie, who suddenly passed away, she was hit by a car. She & Lily were inseparable. Lily was devastated. She'd stare outside looking for Callie, she stopped eating, I had to entice her with treats to eat anything and wasn't herself for months on end. Health checked out okay at vets, she was simply depressed. I don't have great advice on how to help your cat deal with it, they deal with it in their own ways, you just have to keep a positive outlook towards them, and let them know that they are okay, and loved. I truly believe Lily still misses her sister, but has learned to live without her. I thought Lily was lonely, so just three weeks after Callie passed, I brought home a kitten hoping Lily would grow to be close to like she was Callie. She never became close to her, she simply tolerates Zoe, even three years later. If they rule out anything healthwise, I'd say try distracting Charlie, play with him more, and most importantly, let him know he's loved and important. I don't know if Lily understands where Callie went, she just knows she went away.

 

[Libby.]

Aw poor Charlie. When our Bounder passed away, Patches stopped eating and went into hepatic lipidosis from grief. They were very close. She loved Bounder so much. I agree with the other advice that you should take him to the vet to make sure there is nothing physically wrong. If he gets a clean bill of health, then try Bach's Pet Rescue Remedy. It's good for trauma. Here's a list of other Bach Remedies that may help as well.

https://www.aldaronessences.com/easing-grief-bach-flower-remedies. Google Bach remedies for the best price. You can get the remedies in alcohol free form too. But I wouldn't worry if you can't find any without alcohol. The bottles are so tiny and have such a minute amount of alcohol since you're only dispensing tiny drops (3-4 at the most) that there isn't enough alcohol to affect the cat. It may affect the taste though. That would truly the only reason that I would seek out an alcohol free form of the remedies.

Finally, have you thought about bringing another kitten into the house? Maybe all he needs is a little kitten energy and craziness.

 

[silkenpaw]

I wouldn’t bring a cat into the house for company for a grieving one. I’ve done it and failed. The bond between two cat friends is very special and can’t be easily duplicated. All you’d likely be doing is causing your grieving cat more stress by bringing a strange cat into his home.

 

[tabbytom]

Thanks! Good article... Sounds like my Charlie cat.

Hopefully Charlie gets over it soon.

 

[kashmir64]

I agree with getting him to a vet. I had two cats (this was years ago) who were inseparable. When the male died from kidney failure, the other was depressed. She quit eating and drinking. Gave her sub-q fluids but it just wasn't enough for her. We tried everything and she wanted nothing to do with it. She died 2 weeks later from a broken heart. OK, it was the not eating and drinking, but her depression brought it on.

 

[stacydc83]

I wouldn’t bring a cat into the house for company for a grieving one. I’ve done it and failed. The bond between two cat friends is very special and can’t be easily duplicated. All you’d likely be doing is causing your grieving cat more stress by bringing a strange cat into his home.

Yes agree with this 100%! I did the same. I love Zoe to death too, but i don't think it helped Lily at all with her grieving. she never bonded with her, she tolerates her and will play with her once in a blue moon. If you do decide on another cat, wait and give it more time. I had it in my head that they would create this perfect relationship like Lily & Callie did, and no.

I take back what I said earlier, I don't regret at all getting Zoe. It may not of been what Lily needed to heal, but it certainly gave her a distraction. It kept her from continuously staring out the window, waiting for Callie to come home. Yes Zoe pissed her off, and still pisses her off sometimes, but I wonder where Lily would be today if Zoe didn't come into her life, and just had to adjust to being an only cat. It's so hard to watch them hurt, and to wonder if they really understand. Is it weird that I'm editing my post? I dunno, posting about Lily losing Callie actually triggered a lot of memories for me so I've been thinking back on everything. There is no right way or sure fire to help a grieving cat. Just reassurance, and letting them know they are loved.

 

[will2002]

Thank you all so very much for all of the reply's to my post. Charley got a clean bill of health at the Vet's office. She said that he was missing Toby in a big way, and only time would help.

Charlie actually seemed to enjoy his trip to see the "doctor". He is even acting happier this fine Saturday morning. I guess just getting out of the house for a while took his mind off of his "troubles".

Once again, thanks to all of you wonderful people for the advice, and help.

 

[tabbytom]

Charley got a clean bill of health at the Vet's office.

That's great to hear!

 

[kashmir64]

He is even acting happier this fine Saturday morning

Am I all messed up? Isn't today Friday?
I'm glad to hear that he's alright. Cats seem to have a lot of the same emotions as humans.

 

[will2002]

Am I all messed up? Isn't today Friday?
I'm glad to hear that he's alright. Cats seem to have a lot of the same emotions as humans.

lol...You are as right as you can be! And guess what...I didn't figure this all out until about noon. Being retired can be a curse sometimes. One day is just about the same as the other, sad but true.