A Day In The Life -of My Cat-

[IvyPostma]

It’s 6:30 am and my humans are still sleeping. Last night’s adventure left my feline body almost lifeless and I want to eat, drink and, of course, sleep until sunset. The lady human wakes up at 7, but I am sure she will appreciate the extra half an hour to take a long and private shower, before the eldest hurricane wakes up.

My lady human is the envy of the neigbourhood! They were all sticking their messy furried head out while I was serenading her. She should be proud!

-Why, thank you for coming! You took your time. I am longing to go to bed -your bed- to sleep, to rest, to dream. I hope you had already made it; rumpling the bed sheets of an untidy bed is no fun at all.

-Who do you think you are? Can’t you see I am dying of starvation and you don’t even bother to move a finger to prevent it? And don’t you “the bowl still has food” me because I am not in the mood for bad jokes! Come on, don’t stay there, staring at me like that! Feed me before I faint!!!!

Humans, sometimes, can be so stupid that I wonder how is that I tolerate living amongst them. Well, I must admit I tolerate them because I need them to feed me, to pet me and to sleep on. Yeah, yeah, I too love them, but I never want to tell them or I will lose their respect. Oh, yes! The bed is freshly made. Leeeeeeeet’s rumple!!!!!

Where am I? Ah, yes! In the closet. What a cozy place to sleep tight in, the closet! All those soft and clean clothes really make me a proper bed. And speaking of which, my lady human’s bed looks very pretty all untidy. She will be very happy… or not and I don’t care. Uhmmmmm! What’s that smell? Love is in the air!!!!!!! Nope, it’s bacon. Yummy! God, I am so hungry! So much! I am going downstairs to get something to eat. If only the staircase didn’t have so many steps. Thirteen! Too many. I can’t afford it. I will call my lady human to bring me to the kitchen.

-Hey, you, woman, come and take me to the kitchen! Hey, take me downstairs! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey! Meoooooooooooooooooooooow!

-At last! I have been waiting for you for hours! HOURS! Now, take me to the kitchen and feed me, for I am very hungry.

-Bacon, I want bacon. Give me bacon. GI-VE-ME-BA-CON-NOW! What? It’s all your fault. How am I supposed to get your attention but scratching your legs if my puss in boots eyes always go unnoticed when I am under the table? And I don’t care you are wearing your best jeans. Jeans, funny name for the scratching pole. Jesus! Stop complaining and give me bacon. I had tasted it before? Yes, I did. I liked it? Never your mind! Just give me the bloody bacon. What do you mean it’s not bacon? Chori-what? Chorizo!!! Fine, chorizo. Give me some!

-Yuck! How can you eat that rubbish! No, I won’t eat it! And you better save your breath and take it easy, because I won’t eat it, no matter how angry you get.

-Don’t shout at me! It was the dog’s fault. Didn’t you watch her trying to eat my chorizo? Yes, I said I didn’t like it and that I wouldn’t eat it, but it’s mine and the dog won’t eat it. And, come on, it’s only a scratch. The bloody dog will live.

The sun is inviting me to sleep under its rays. Nice! I will sleep here. After all the drama with the dog and my chorizo, I forgot to eat my dry food. Oh, well! I will wait until the lady human comes out to feed the neighbourhood cats and then I will beg her to feed me. Is it dinner yet? Here comes the first one. My money is on him. Gloves does go all the way into the house to let the humans know he is there and wants to eat. I will be fed now. The way he meows will grant me my bowl soon.

-Hey, I am hungry too! You are cooking dinner. So what? Put down the skillet and serve me my dry food. That’s my girl! Good human, good human. You are improving. Yuck, I take it back! This tuna tastes like the man human’s socks. Stop being so tight and buy me better quality tins of tuna. Now I will have to wait until dinner is ready to have a decent meal.

-Hello, there! I am under the table. Feed me. What’s that? It smells good. Ah, chicken! No big deal, but it’s something. Give me more. Why are you so pinchpenny? Give me more. Hey, I want more! Stop complaining about my claws and feed me! What do you mean you already ate it all? There you have it, you’re plump because you eat too much!! I will eat dry food.

-Let me out! Open the door and let me out, I need to use my litter box. If you don’t let me out I will pee on the couch. On the count of 5: one… two… three… Why, thank you!

The night is warm. I’ll stay in the garden. Michelle, let’s hunt snails! Come on, let’s run about… Who are you? You cannot come here without my approval and I don’t approve of you. If you’re looking for trouble, I am your cat!

-Tolkien, it’s 2 am, shut up and let us sleep!!!!

TOOOOOOOOOOOLKIEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Felinediablox]

Very interesting thread and a cute post . It tells us everything about your cat's personality. I will attempt to do the same altough it will not be written so well.

- It is around 4 am. I am downstairs in the living room near the huge windows. I am sitting atop my cat tree and I have a lovely view of my humans' garden. It is so beautiful in the morning. Usually I do not spend much time on my tree but this early in the mornings, I love waiting for sunrise and the birds to start chirping.
- It is 5 am and daddy will wake up soon. I have my own bed near my humans'. It is quite high in the air, near this funny white thing: In the summer it is really cool and in winter it keeps me nice and warm. I will take a nap untill daddy wakes up.
- It is almost 6 am and daddy woke up. I know exactly what he is going to do: I will wait for him to put on clothes and then run to the bathroom just before he does. Then, he finally comes to the bathroom. Please make the water run already, it is so refreshing! He is moving downstairs. Uh oh. I must attempt to keep him inside the house! Do not leave us, please! I beg daddy to stay every day- I cry, I snuggle his shoes and block the front door with my body every morning but it never works out! He is leaving. Oh well, atleast I said goodbye. Mommy leaves the house too, although not as often as daddy and she is so unpredictable. When both of them leave, I am very sad. She is staying at home for now. I will join mommy in bed soon but i will grab some food on my way to the bedroom. I love sleeping with a full tummy.
- Mommy woke up, finally. I can play with her - we often play hide and seek, catch, we fight, or we play with toys altough toys get me bored easily. The only toys I really like are balls that I can chase.
- Mommy is in the kitchen, she is preparing food. It smells weird but I cannot resist the urge to try and smell it. Ew, that is awful, I am going to throw up! How can they eat this? She is going to clean the kitchen now. That means - flowing water! Please turn on the water, I want to drink again.
- It is noon and it is incredibly hot. Too hot for anything. The ground is cold luckily, so I will lay down to cool myself and wait for afternoon.
- It is afternoon. The weather is nice now. Mommy is holding a rope thingy she uses on me alot. This means she wants us to go out. Oh well, I am excited! I just have to stay put for a while so that she could put it on me. Out we go! yay!
- We are outside and... this is so scary! I want to go inside, please, let me inside mommy, I beg you! She never lets me inside though. Instead, she picks me up and takes me to a quiet part of their garden. It is not so bad there. There are pretty flowers I can sniff, lots of grass that I like to eat and bugs that I like stalking. I see lots of weird animals through a fence. Some of them look yummy - birds and chickens, some are intimidating - dogs and horses. They can be pretty scary but i am safe behind the fence so I can continue watching them. Sometimes other cats come - I try to be friends with them but they do not like me.
- We are going inside. Mommy just closed the door behind us. I wait for her to take off the ropes off of me and then I am finally free and safe, in my kingdom! I am comfortable here, nothing can hurt me here.
- I can hear a car parking outside the entrance door, that will be daddy! I run downstairs to greet him, before he even opens the door. He comes in and I start snuggling everything around me, mainly his shoes. Everything but him. One time I started snuggling my water bowl so hard that I knocked it over. Daddy is going upstairs and so am I. He puts down his bag and clothes - and ooh I love his bag and clothes so much! I have to lay on his bag, it is my new favorite resting place.
- Daddy and mommy are sitting at the table, they sit there for a long time. I want to play so I will jump on the table and start playing with their stuff - they hate it when I play with their stuff, this will make them play with me!
- It is almost evening and the weather outside is so nice. Mommy opened the door near my tree to let in some nice fresh air and sun. I lay down near that opened door and rest a little. The sun is so nice.
- I can hear daddy upstairs, shaking a bag of my favorite treats, yummy! I run upstairs SO fast. He places a couple of them on the bed and I eat them. So good. Daddy and mommy start rubbing my cheeks. I just love it when they rub my cheeks and scratch me behind my ears! Mommy loves hugging me and kissing all the time but it can get annoying easily.
- I am playfully fighting with daddy. I can bite him harder than mommy. Sometimes I bite daddy harder than usual and he starts saying "ouch, ouch!" I am hurting him now, I know that. I do not want to hurt him so I stop biting immediately.
- My humans are going to bed. I will join them soon too, I will just go downstairs and eat before I sleep. This is my ritual every night, I love sleeping with a full tummy. I lay in my bed which is near mommy's feet and wait for the next morning.