A bit of a peeing issue, help?

Gothicpumpkinfairy

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Um hello everyone. Im new here so I dont know if this is the right part of the forum to put this.

My husband and I moved in together about a year and a month or two ago. He brought with him two cats and a dog. I had alreqdy had two cats, a bearded dragon, and a dog. Our roommate, my aunt also had a dog. At the time my mom was living with us qlso had a dog.

My mom has since moved out with her dog. One of my cats mainly stays outdoors. I know, I know...Thats honestly not ideal. But I cannot force her to stay in. She is spayed. My other cat is neutered.

One of the cats my husband brought was spayed and declawed on the front. We were not her original owners and we would never declaw a cat. That is just cruel.

She was 16 years old. Sadly we had to put her down due to a serious medical issue. The doctor said he could do surgery but my husband and I agreed we should just put her down. It was a very hard choice. I broke down sobbing. Still want to cry about it.

The other cat also female was not fixed. Mainly because where he previously lived in another state it was extremely expensive. Then he moved here to my home state with me. I got him an appointment with our local Humane Society to get her fixed.

She is spayed and all healed up now. But lately she has begun to pee outside the litter box. Orginally our 16 year old would go to the back door and pee and poo there. We tried everything we could to stop her. Trying new litters, cleaning, and even trying a litter box in the livingroom where she mainly stayed. And still nope...

We also took her to the vet but he didnt find anything wrong. As I said before we sadly had to put her down. She raised my husband's other cat though they are not related.

We kept an eye on her to be sure if we needed to do something we would. Then his dog passed away not too long ago. That is when it really began.

My indoor male cat began to stay in a closet all day and night. Only venturing out for a little food or water when no one was looking. Finally when he was out my husband quickly shut the door...He has been staying in our room since.

But the real issue is the female cat that is my husband's. We both love her very much. And I know everyone reading this is wondering why I am going off track and not stating the problem. I kinda thought a little background would help.

Suddenly when his dog who was 14 or 15 passed away she too began acting strange. Goint potty by the back door. Hiding in a window behind the lizards cage. Refusing to eat any food placed down in the room we usually had one litter box two kennels for our big dogs, and the lizard. Not even my male cat would eat in there anymore. It was strange but we then got two new bowls for food as the old large one we had some how got busted.

We placed the smaller ones on the floor of our room. They began eating right away. So we placed a litter box in here and left the other in animal room as we call it. Still the female cat kept going by the back door and began to not come into our room. At all unless we picked her up and brought her in. Usually itd have to be me. She wouldnt even touch the food in our room. I began having to feed her out in the dining room/kitchen area but would have to put the food up immediately after she walked away or my aunts dog would try to go eat it when he honestly had food of his own down.

Then she would slip into our room here and there. My husband used to cuddle her every night as he slept. She would even work her way into his arms while he slept and would stay there all night. Well she hasnt done that in a very long time. And she peed on the bed once then when he was asleep and I was laying by him one night still awake, he jerks and yells. I freak out thinking something horrible happened. Finally he gets up turns on the over head and I over course wince cause ya know light...Eyes adjusted to the dark. Anyway she had peed on him! She has NEVER done this. Not even once. Then she stops coming in here except on rare occasions. Then she wouldnt stop meowing/yowling. I figured out it was cause ahe was hungry so I began to do anything and everything to get her to eat. Which was successful! However, yesterday as I lay trying to sleep though it was in afternoon, Ive got insomnia, she began to yowl again. My aunt yelled at her to shut up. I finally had enough. I got up and brought her to our room shut the door and put her down. I crawled back in bed and covered up. She got under the blankets and stayed there like for hours. Never once coming out to go potty. Or even to let me know she needed to leave the room cause she didnt wanna use the litter box in here.

My husband comes home from work. I uncover her to check on her. I leave the blankets off to try and get her to go get some water or something. She literally just squats on the blanket and pees. I nudge her to try and get her to stop and go to the litter box because I didnt know if I picked her up if itd just make a huge mess. She proptly flopped over and kept peeing. While laying on her side. The thing is my husband and I use separate blankets. Because he is a blanket hog. I literally wake up in the night freezing cause he took all the blankets. There is only one we can share that is large enough to allow it. Well he had been using that one and another to keep warm here as we have a window a/c in our room, a large fan on a table, and the ceiling fan going at night and all day except the table fan. I had thrown that thin blanket over my semi bulky one...Its old and needs to just be used as something to lay on the bed cause the stuffing in it is scattered and some places its just the fabric of the blanket.

She seemed to really be aiming for the thin blanket which mainly smelled of him cause he had been the main person using it.

Then today after I got up qnd came back from going potty myself I again uncover her but this time put her in the litter box and get her to stay for a minute maybe a minute and half but nothing. So I sit on the bed and watch her. Then I look away for a moment. Next thing I know she is peeing on the blanket I used to cover up because the main one I had been using had pee on it. But heres the thing, that blanket is identical to the blanket I had been using only its blue and not black. The blue blanket is actually my husband's and he let me use it cause he knew itd be warmer for me. Well, when I curled up in it avoiding the foot end if the bed where there is still a wet feeling, we spayed it with a special enzymatic cleaner and cleaned it but its still wet...I noticed it smelled just like him. Well I push it to his side after getting up cause I was gonna lay back down and cover up with it as Im tired still. But she pees on it! At first I thought it was cause I used it and woke her up but then I noticed something. She did not pee on anything of mine, or even me. Everything has been his or on him.

Plus she runs away from him whenever he gets near. And last night she wiggled her way under the blanket with me. When he lifted the blanket to get her she kept wiggling further and further away from him until she was at my feet...

I know this is seriously not normal behavior for her or really any cat. I am going to take her to the vet with him once he and I can save up enough money. But I was wondering if anyone had any ideas as to why she is doing this? She doesnt cry out qhen peeing, or even seems to be in pain or irritated when moving or peeing or anything. And I literally saw her go poo in the litter box last night.

I know cats arent spiteful, and they dont hold grudges like a human, or even do things out of anger or annoyance.

Could she be stressed, anxious, or scared or something? Cause this isnr normal for her. She honestly loved laying on him, cuddling him, just plain being near him. Now she wants absolutely nothing to do with him and is peeing on his stuff/side of the bed/things he has used that has his scent the strongest.

I am very sorry this is so long, and I am so sorry if this is not the right part of the forum to put this. I really just wanted to give all the details I could so the situation could better be understood. Thank you for reading, and thank you for any advice. Have a wonderful night/day.
 

maggie101

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I couldn't follow everything. How many and what kind of pets do you and your husband have? Has she recently had a urinalysis? Stress can cause a uti and she is showing signs. If it's not uti the vet could give her something for stress. It helps if you give her lots of tlc and play with her
 
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Gothicpumpkinfairy

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We only really have six. Three cats, two dogs, and a bearded dragon. She gets along fine with everyone. She began to act strange after the deaths of two of our pets.

A cat and a dog that had been with her since kittenhood. My husband and I are trying to get her to the vet immediately so that they can do a few tests. We suspect its stress. But we also think she may either have a uti or worms.
 

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1. Vet visit and do write everything that is going on down so you can discuss it with the doctor.
2. You can buy a waterproof fitted sheet for your bed. I got mine on amazon. They are not expensive and they are washable. It will be protection for your bed. It goes right next to the mattress and then you put the mattress pad and fitted sheet. I got one when one of my beloved cats became incontinent. It gives a lot of peace of mind.
3. Definitely use separate blankets. That's an easy one.
4. I wasn't able to read the entire post either, but I do believe your cat is having bereavement/grief issues and/or is stressed by all of the changes in the family in one way or another. A feline behaviorist might be very helpful. Jackson Galaxy is one. He does consultations. Depending on where you are, you may wish to contact him or another feline behaviorist regarding your cat. Her health and wellbeing are very important. Thank you for coming here to try to get help for her! and do keep us informed, won't you?
 
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Gothicpumpkinfairy

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I am so sorry my post is hard to read or cant be finished. We have her in a room with a litter box, some food and water, and a soft place for her to lay. My husband just went in to check on her. He left the door open for her run around for a little bit while he got her more food and water and cleaned her box. She wouldnt leave. It might be comforting to her to have that small space....We are still getting her to the vet just to get her checked out and then go from there.
 

tarasgirl06

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I am so sorry my post is hard to read or cant be finished. We have her in a room with a litter box, some food and water, and a soft place for her to lay. My husband just went in to check on her. He left the door open for her run around for a little bit while he got her more food and water and cleaned her box. She wouldnt leave. It might be comforting to her to have that small space....We are still getting her to the vet just to get her checked out and then go from there.
My Baby Su used to roam the house. Two houses, in fact, since we moved from the Mojave, where she found us as a feral kitten, to L.A. Metro due to divorce. In the years since, she has become more reluctant to roam the house. Now, she stays almost always in the master bedroom, where she has everything including cat furniture, scratching pad and posts, food and water, her box, and, of course the Cal King bed. There are windows on 3 sides of the room, too. I used to occasionally carry her out into the living room, but she always bolts right back to her room. She does not lack for anything. A cat can be very happy in a smaller space or one room, depending on the cat.
 

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If the issues she’s having are stemming from stress/grief then I highly recommend a product like Feliway, you can order the diffusers off of Amazon but they essentially release hormones into the air that calm and soothe pets from stressors. It helps with spraying, urinating, etc. We had a cat who out of no where started peeing outside of the litter box and it was incredibly frustrating. I tried every kind of deterrent I could think of before trying this after it was recommended by a YouTuber I follow with 6 cats lol. Hope this offers some help!!
 
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Gothicpumpkinfairy

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Madisonmh Madisonmh Thank you! I have heard of it. I also thought about getting it. I am just a tiny bit nervous about it. We have one other dog here that doesnt belong to us as its our roommates dog. She is extremely protective of him. Spoils him to no end. And pretty much tries to control what we do with our own animals...Even tries to make hints that we need to be rid of them all....I gotta figure out how to get her to not object to getting it and placing it in a spot in the house where it can carry? I think thats right...I mean spread around. Or hubby and I could place it in animal room where we keep our big dogs at night along with her and the lizard. She seems to take comfort in that specific room....I know this is a cat site but um..do you know if that can effect scalies?
 
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Gothicpumpkinfairy

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It could be that. She feels more secure. Elvis joined us 4 years ago and because he is very territorial and chases her sometimes, she likes to be secure.
Ah. Yeah. That'd do it. Poor baby. Being terroried by another cat. At least she has a safe place.
 

tarasgirl06

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Ah. Yeah. That'd do it. Poor baby. Being terroried by another cat. At least she has a safe place.
Elvis wants to be friendly. They started out being friendly but he's just too territorial, and she's feral...
Who owns your house? The other people shouldn't tell you what to do with your family members and they should NEVER even THINK of telling you that you shouldn't have them. Better THEY leave/get rid of their dogs.
 
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Gothicpumpkinfairy

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Actually....This is a bit embarrassing for me....My mom owns the house my husband I are renting. My aunt lives with us cause she has no other place to go.
Elvis wants to be friendly. They started out being friendly but he's just too territorial, and she's feral...
Who owns your house? The other people shouldn't tell you what to do with your family members and they should NEVER even THINK of telling you that you shouldn't have them. Better THEY leave/get rid of their dogs.
Awww! I love when kitties are friends....And um well...this is a bit embarrassing....My mom owns the house my husband and I are renting. Its my childhood home. My aunt is our roommate. She is with us cause she has no place else to go or so she says.

Basically she is extremely old school. And I mean extremely old school, and extremely traditional. Also highly religious. I grew up with religion, and I have a lot of respect for it.

But...well Id not really like to get into everything here in the comments. Pretty much...she doesnt really like cats. Mainly their litter and the way they get on the counters and such. She especially brings up the fact they carry sicknesses and will steal a babys breath or smother them, or even lay on them and crush them. Well not exactly crush them but put too much weight on their little chests.....

And that the big dogs are not good for a baby either...and well the lizard...yeah even I know I cannot handle him for a long time if I were to be pregnant or even after until the child is older.

Basically...My husband and I really wanna try for a child....And..it...I again cannot go into much detail here....Im sorry..
 

tarasgirl06

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Actually....This is a bit embarrassing for me....My mom owns the house my husband I are renting. My aunt lives with us cause she has no other place to go.


Awww! I love when kitties are friends....And um well...this is a bit embarrassing....My mom owns the house my husband and I are renting. Its my childhood home. My aunt is our roommate. She is with us cause she has no place else to go or so she says.

Basically she is extremely old school. And I mean extremely old school, and extremely traditional. Also highly religious. I grew up with religion, and I have a lot of respect for it.

But...well Id not really like to get into everything here in the comments. Pretty much...she doesnt really like cats. Mainly their litter and the way they get on the counters and such. She especially brings up the fact they carry sicknesses and will steal a babys breath or smother them, or even lay on them and crush them. Well not exactly crush them but put too much weight on their little chests.....

And that the big dogs are not good for a baby either...and well the lizard...yeah even I know I cannot handle him for a long time if I were to be pregnant or even after until the child is older.

Basically...My husband and I really wanna try for a child....And..it...I again cannot go into much detail here....Im sorry..
That "stealing breath or crushing" is an absolute out-and-out lie. It is as much as lie as the "black cats are bad luck" idiocy. I would not have a dog around kids, but then, I do not like dogs and have had too much experience with their violence and dirtiness. I have been forced to care for two of them, but never again. Cats are the cleanest animals on earth, except for marine animals--they are far cleaner than humans. Responsible, caring cat guardians get the innoculations their cats need, keep them indoors, and make sure they are healthy and free of fleas. If they do manage to get them, flea combs are excellent, and I recommend Advantage topical as the only flea prevention I trust.
There's nothing wrong or shameful in living with family! It's traditional for many people, my family included. This is my family home, too. My parents have passed. I am very spiritual as well, and I know our Beloved Creator made us all and loves us all. Cats are unconditionally loyal and loving, and deserve respect and protection from everyone.
 
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Gothicpumpkinfairy

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tarasgirl06 tarasgirl06

I agree. I know a lot of myths which many are flat out lies about cats. Our Luca is a sweetie, very mellow. He has never growled or barked at anyone. Even ignores a short Doxie chihuahua mix that snarls and growls and grabs at his flabby cheeks.

Our girl Amaya though...She has begun to growl and bark at strangers...At least if they enter the backyard. I havent noticed anything when she is on the leash...Though there was the time she growled a vet assistant trying to get her out of the car....

She didnt know her and the top part of her paw had been sliced open. The paw was cause of an old fake wicker chair. Its no longer here having been destroyed.

But they both like kids from what I can tell. Got them both when they were just puppies. Luca is the eldest of our two dogs. Amaya is a recent addition. Vivi, the cat this post is about I wouldnt mind allowing near the baby too much, if we ever get pregnant or even adopt. I say too much, cause she is small and light...But a bit of a pain when it comes to licking/grooming...and she also likes to knead a bit more than other cats Ive ever had the pleasure of caring for.

Now Custard....We call him Fat Cat. He was 14 pounds when I adopted him. Now..I am not so sure his weight but he chunky. He too is a sweetie. Id be a tiny bit more concerned letting him near the baby on his own. He likes to lay on YOU whenever possible.

Though he seems to avoid small kids which I dont think I blame him. Him being a cat with no way to defend except teeth and claws...No way to vocalize help or fear except meows and yeowls....And of course purrs.

And human babys/toddlers being grabby and painful...Though our third sweet baby Sparrow...Or E.K. would be fine. She is small and light as well. She loves to cuddle, and be under the covers.

She would be fiercely protective. And if youre wondering...E.K. stands for Evil Kitty
 

tarasgirl06

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tarasgirl06 tarasgirl06

I agree. I know a lot of myths which many are flat out lies about cats. Our Luca is a sweetie, very mellow. He has never growled or barked at anyone. Even ignores a short Doxie chihuahua mix that snarls and growls and grabs at his flabby cheeks.

Our girl Amaya though...She has begun to growl and bark at strangers...At least if they enter the backyard. I havent noticed anything when she is on the leash...Though there was the time she growled a vet assistant trying to get her out of the car....

She didnt know her and the top part of her paw had been sliced open. The paw was cause of an old fake wicker chair. Its no longer here having been destroyed.

But they both like kids from what I can tell. Got them both when they were just puppies. Luca is the eldest of our two dogs. Amaya is a recent addition. Vivi, the cat this post is about I wouldnt mind allowing near the baby too much, if we ever get pregnant or even adopt. I say too much, cause she is small and light...But a bit of a pain when it comes to licking/grooming...and she also likes to knead a bit more than other cats Ive ever had the pleasure of caring for.

Now Custard....We call him Fat Cat. He was 14 pounds when I adopted him. Now..I am not so sure his weight but he chunky. He too is a sweetie. Id be a tiny bit more concerned letting him near the baby on his own. He likes to lay on YOU whenever possible.

Though he seems to avoid small kids which I dont think I blame him. Him being a cat with no way to defend except teeth and claws...No way to vocalize help or fear except meows and yeowls....And of course purrs.

And human babys/toddlers being grabby and painful...Though our third sweet baby Sparrow...Or E.K. would be fine. She is small and light as well. She loves to cuddle, and be under the covers.

She would be fiercely protective. And if youre wondering...E.K. stands for Evil Kitty
Cats are strong, resilient and agile, but they are small -- much smaller even than human babies -- and THEY need to be protected from dogs, of course, as well as humans, including kids who knowingly or not, can be too rough. My parents taught me from the start to be gentle and respectful of our beloved cat, who LOVED me and I him. We did everything together and he slept with me every night. One time I pulled his tail -- an ignorant kid doesn't know any better -- and my mom immediately grabbed a bunch of my hair and pulled, hard enough so it hurt, and when I protested, she said, "See? That's how it feels when you pull his tail!"
I never did that again. I had learned my lesson the best way possible. "Who feels it, knows it." ;)
 
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Gothicpumpkinfairy

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Cats are strong, resilient and agile, but they are small -- much smaller even than human babies -- and THEY need to be protected from dogs, of course, as well as humans, including kids who knowingly or not, can be too rough. My parents taught me from the start to be gentle and respectful of our beloved cat, who LOVED me and I him. We did everything together and he slept with me every night. One time I pulled his tail -- an ignorant kid doesn't know any better -- and my mom immediately grabbed a bunch of my hair and pulled, hard enough so it hurt, and when I protested, she said, "See? That's how it feels when you pull his tail!"
I never did that again. I had learned my lesson the best way possible. "Who feels it, knows it." ;)
Ah yes. I know what thats like. We usually had cats while I was growing up. The occasional dog. But my dad really hated dogs. Except maybe three we had at seperate times.

He has passed away. Many years ago. But meh. I learned a lot about animals growing up. I wanted to be a Vet. Or at least work in a vet office. Maybe take care of the animals in the back when they need to stay over night or....perhaps the front desk. But I couldnt do it. I couldnt bring myself to.

Still I learn more about animals when I can. I look up myths and ledgends. And I look up even animals that arent real. But still I look it all up. I like learning about them.
 

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Ah yes. I know what thats like. We usually had cats while I was growing up. The occasional dog. But my dad really hated dogs. Except maybe three we had at seperate times.

He has passed away. Many years ago. But meh. I learned a lot about animals growing up. I wanted to be a Vet. Or at least work in a vet office. Maybe take care of the animals in the back when they need to stay over night or....perhaps the front desk. But I couldnt do it. I couldnt bring myself to.

Still I learn more about animals when I can. I look up myths and ledgends. And I look up even animals that arent real. But still I look it all up. I like learning about them.
I loathe dogs, too. For so many reasons! They are the only species I really feel like that about.
Yeah, being a vet tech/vet assistant/vet is not only very hard work, but very sad work. It's not all just about healing. The attrition rate among vets is very, very high for that reason. Not a "thankless job" exactly, but certainly not what some people may go into it thinking it will be. If everyone would spay/neuter and adopt for life, it would be a lot closer to that ideal. *Work in progress.*
Around here, there are living room lions. Here is a big blue/cream one. He rules the domain and prowls nightly to make sure we are safe. It's hard work, so he can often be found more like THIS:
IMG_1989.JPG
 
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Gothicpumpkinfairy

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I loathe dogs, too. For so many reasons! They are the only species I really feel like that about.
Yeah, being a vet tech/vet assistant/vet is not only very hard work, but very sad work. It's not all just about healing. The attrition rate among vets is very, very high for that reason. Not a "thankless job" exactly, but certainly not what some people may go into it thinking it will be. If everyone would spay/neuter and adopt for life, it would be a lot closer to that ideal. *Work in progress.*
Around here, there are living room lions. Here is a big blue/cream one. He rules the domain and prowls nightly to make sure we are safe. It's hard work, so he can often be found more like THIS:
View attachment 387876
Haha...He is so handsome! What's his name? If you don't mind me askin that is. My Custard is a sweet baby. He usually does not leave my side except when its for food, water, or the potty. We call him Fat Cat. Or hubby likes to call hi. Fat Boy. He comes when called sometimes...By name.

It's a funny sight to see actually....This is my sweet Fat Cat. And actually his full name is....Please don't laugh...I know it's funny...but I tried really hard to come up with a name for him...His full name is Captain Bubba Custard....Or Sir Tinky(stinky) But Tinky is cuter and it's easier for small kids to say when they see photos of him.
 

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Haha...He is so handsome! What's his name? If you don't mind me askin that is. My Custard is a sweet baby. He usually does not leave my side except when its for food, water, or the potty. We call him Fat Cat. Or hubby likes to call hi. Fat Boy. He comes when called sometimes...By name.

It's a funny sight to see actually....This is my sweet Fat Cat. And actually his full name is....Please don't laugh...I know it's funny...but I tried really hard to come up with a name for him...His full name is Captain Bubba Custard....Or Sir Tinky(stinky) But Tinky is cuter and it's easier for small kids to say when they see photos of him.
There was a Fat Boy n my life, and he was an orange tabby. I didn't name him that, though. My blue/cream boy is Elvis, whom I also didn't name. He joined us 4 years ago. He had a canine housemate named Priscilla. Now, with us, he has Baby Su a/k/a Suha, 16 and born feral.
IMG_2139 (1).JPG
 
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